http://www.bransomtx.com/mikell01.html

I actually started working on this story a while back. I let Kat read the first few pages, but then started wondering about exactly where to go with it. I played around with events until I found a way to make a natural break. I'm planning (and you know what Burns said, but we can still hope) to do the next story next week. It really isn't even a separate story. It just seemed like I was going to have to split them, else cut a LOT of stuff that I did want to include. My stories with Mikell and him going from a friend to a son will probably take four stories to complete. I'll try not to leave you waiting too long.

I have a few other things I'd like to say about this one, but I think I'm going to wait for your comments to see if anyone addresses those things.

Enjoy it!

This is a fairly lengthy text, and not exactly a story in the sense of its having a plot; yet it hangs together well as a series of anecdotes involving Mikell.

A portrait begins to emerge of a lonely boy who doesn't really belong to anyone, and so he is searching for a connection to an adult who will take care of him. Mikell's longing for a parental relationship to Jack becomes clear, even as heartbreaking bits of information about his background come out: the abusive (arguably) father, the mentally ill, substance-abusing mother, the well-meaning but ultimately negligent aunt and uncle.... Juxtaposed against those relationships are his bids for Jack's attention: the visits to the store and phone calls, the jealousy of Stevie, and the plea to go to the Magic tournament. I feel like Mikell is a little like a stray dog that follows someone home.

I find myself wanting much better things for him than he's had so far. There are two instances of corporal punishment in this text--a belting and a paddling. Hot as the descriptions of them are, neither seems to have been given by a loving, caring individual. Mikell deserves more.

Kat

Kat wrote:I find myself wanting much better things for him than he's had so far. There are two instances of corporal punishment in this text--a belting and a paddling. Hot as the descriptions of them are, neither seems to have been given by a loving, caring individual. Mikell deserves more.Kat

I wish you'd mentioned that before, Kat, and I suppose it's my fault. As far as I ever saw, John really was good to Mikell and the two of them were close. In many ways, I think he treated Mikell just as he did Donald (and there were times that John and Mikell were at the tournament together, when Donald wasn't around). The trouble, however, is that there's only so much I can tell in a story. Since this is about me and Mikell, his relationship with John ended up 'on the cutting room floor'. As a result, I guess it looked like someone who really did care for the boy, didn't look like it. Ultimately though, that didn't matter, because Donald was his step-son and Mikell wasn't, so when they got themselves too deeply in trouble, there wasn't a real choice for John to make, and that left Mikell adrift.

I agree with Kat on the way the story flowed. I thought the belt whipping was excessive but the paddling was fair. This was an excellent story. Skater does love a switching, even the mention of one! The paddlings of Donald and Mikell was kind of hot too. I look forward to hearing how Mikell came to live with you in more detail and I want you to tell me that he and Bobby are getting more clos all the time!

Like I said above, I'm planning to continue this story next week, and that part should include the next couple of stages of how our relationship evolved.

As for Mikell and Bobby, Mikell always did have a problem with his little brother, and I have to admit he had a good reason for it, though it wasn't Bobbies fault. By the time Mikell went to college, the two of them were able to get along pretty well, though Mikell didn't really treat him any different than he did the other, younger boys.

Now, if you'll recall, Mikell's living in California, married, with a son, and in the Air Force, so they don't get to see each other anymore. When they do see each other, you can tell that Mikell has put those problems behind him, and he seems to be very proud of his little brother.

Thanks Jack....that last bit of info about him being proud of Bobby is nice!

Another very good story. I agree it's a collection of anecdotes rather than a normal story, but it works very well (although the ordering of the anecdotes caused me some trouble: from the beginning of the story I was wondering why the boys had been banned from going to the store without supervision and I only found out later).

I love these 'spanking' conversations. You are very good at getting the embarrassing details from teenagers

I think Kat is right when he said that you are very good at describing spankings. All of them are very vivid and distinct (as a writer I know it's not easy). The paddling seemed quite harsh, although I can't call it unfair. It's funny, but the boy's reaction plays a big part in determining how harsh the spanking seems to me. If they go over their limit and the spanking goes on it seems very harsh, while a more stoic reaction makes the spanking seem normal to me.

You are also very good at getting across the boys' different personalities (for example, Mikell's modesty in contrast with Steve's more uninhibited attitude).

Oh, yes, and the story was hot, in addition to being interesting because I wanted to know more about the boys.

Thanks, and very good job!

I said I'd give people a chance to comment on this story before I finished my original comments. DB and Kat did hit on some of what I was going to say.

The simple fact is, I had a complex relationship with Mikell and it developed over a long time. That makes it hard to tell it all in a traditional story format. Instead, I decided that (probably) the first two stories will be a collection of anecdotes that let you come to know Mikell, let you see how our relationship developed, and still give you some spanking.

As to leaving the details of why he was banned from the store to the end, while I mentioned it earlier; I didn't see anyway to avoid mentioning it at the beginning (more because I might forget and mention it in the future, than because it would confuse the readers if it wasn't there). I chose to put it at the end because it's the 'money shot' for this story. I knew the other anecdotes were going to be mentioned, but this was the one I'd seen, so I was able to go into full details. Originally I'd thought about making this a story of its own, but decided it worked better this way.

Hi Jack,

Just welcoming myself to the forum!

I liked this story, I really enjoy hearing about how the boys became yours so looking forward to the next installment.

Danny (Dkellis)

Make sure you check the introductions and FAQs. That has pocket bios of quite a few of the boys. Some of them, like Ryan, Corey and JD, have spankings involved in the stories of how we came to know each other. Others, like Bobby, the twins, and PJ don't, so there stories may or may not get told in as much detail, but it'll probably be here, if they do.