The final night of the Advent calendar will be the conclusion of a collaborative story, featuring narratives by Leti and Chris. Please see the introduction and narratives by Ivor and Jkher on the 24th if you have not already done so.
- Patrick's Narrative
Dad arrived early from work and I decided to brave it and gave him the envelope from Sister Hannah. I don’t know how much detail she put in the letter, but I knew that dad wasn’t going to be happy with me... as it is the second envelope in less than three weeks... but last time... it was a class thing so... it wasn’t really my fault. Not that it mattered... he said I was the ringleader and he sent me to bed with a sore rear. He opened the envelope and started reading. I could see that the message was short, so I would have to fill in the blanks... (I learned later that it only said that we had made a mess in the cafeteria and the kitchen with water balloons.) I noticed that my sock had a small hole in it and I tried to move my toe through...
“How did you get water balloons?” Dad startled me; my toe was almost out... I planted my foot beside the other and looked him in the eye. I knew he liked that.
“We found the balloons in the music room a couple of days ago and...” He’s not stopping me so I continued “…Someone said that we should fill them with water and... we were going to throw them in the playground but... we had them in the cafeteria meanwhile... and then... one of mine slipped and fell on my feet and Ernie started laughing at me and then... I kind of throw one at him...” My eyes went back to my feet.
“Kind of? How do you kind of throw a balloon full of water at someone’s face?”
I hated this kind of question so I just shrugged... “Lunch time was almost over so... Sister Grace told us to mop the water during the recess...” It was no fun, but we kind of finished throwing the balloons once she left. I guessed dad didn’t really need to know that. “But some of our clothes were wet and... one of the boys had heard that you can use the microwave oven to dry clothes so...”
“You used the microwave ovens?”
I nodded. “There was no one in the kitchen and we had finished mopping the water so... we placed our shorts in the microwaves but... as we started them at the same time...” It was a contest to see who was first... I started mumbling.
“I can’t hear you...” I tried to look back at him.
“Something happened… well, the lights... they went out... and I said that maybe it was too much charge in the electric line to make them work at the same time... and we needed to look for a fuse box...”
Dad looked angry... he had warned me about my electric experiments before... but this was not really an experiment. “The fuse box was in this small closet... we weren’t wearing our pants...” Luckily the door wasn’t really closed and it wasn’t a blown fuse... just a breaker... “We moved the breaker back to its place and the lights came back... so we started using the ovens again... one at a time...” It was no longer a contest. “They made the clothes warm but not really dry... I guess they were too wet... then... in the last oven...” Where my shorts were... “…We saw a flame! It seems that... one of the shorts had some metal things on them and... they got so warm that the clothes caught fire and... the microwave was not damaged at all...” My shorts were. “And the smoke detectors went off... but just in the kitchens and then... the sisters came and we were without shorts...” And we did not get too much sympathy. Dad had hidden his face behind his hands... I guessed he was getting a headache... maybe he should cut it down on the coffee he drinks, as Mom says... I continued...
“The detectors were stopped by the sisters and we were sent to change...” Luckily we had more clothes. “And then we went to the last class... we got the letters at the end... Sister Hannah was a little bit sad that there were not many kids going to sing at the Hospital... do you think that I should go? That could place me in her good books...”
Dad said that it would be nice for me to sign up to sing the carols. But he decided to try my lungs first. He made me get the brush from the bathroom, and after baring my buttocks, he spanked me to the rhythm of the last verse of the twelve days of Christmas song. I was really sore after...
12 drummers drumming
11 pipers pipping
10 lords a leaping
9 ladies dancing
8 maids a milking
7 swans a swimming
6 geese a laying
5 golden rings
4 calling birds
3 french hens
2 turtle doves
and a partridge in a pear tree!
- Peter's Narrative
All that fuss about hardly anything at all, and then Sister Hannah gave me a letter to take home for my parents to read and sign!
She even told me that I should be ashamed of myself, because I’m the class Captain, and I should be setting a better personal example to the other boys!
But Gee Whiz! I’ve been a good boy all year!
Well………except for maybe once or twice…well....quite a few times actually… but then I didn’t get caught for some of those, so they don’t count really do they?
And I was just having a little fun; like you do last week of school before Christmas holidays!
OK! So maybe I was messing around with those throw-down crackers in the class-room!
And maybe those sudden deafening explosions did make Mrs O’Halloran nearly jump out of her skin and give her palpitations!
But Gee Whiz!! It was only a bit of fun!
All the guys laughed, and I’d figured that once Mrs O’Halloran stopped shaking, she’d recover her Christmas spirit and laugh along with us too!
Instead of that she reported me to Sister Hannah’s office!
It’s just not fair!
I kind of hoped that maybe Mum and Dad would see the funny side of it when they read the letter, and maybe agree with me that it was just a little harmless fun!
I gave it to Mummy first, kind of hoping to see a smile on her face, and a dismissive chuckle, and for her to say something like, ‘I don’t know what all the fuss is about!?’
No such luck! She told me that I had been very naughty, and that Daddy was going to have to see the letter too!
In the meantime, I was to go upstairs and get out of my school uniform, have a shower and get into my PJs.
Boy! My heart just went into my shoes!
I knew what that meant. Generally a double-header spanking from both Mum and Dad!
Gee Whiz! And it’s nearly Christmas too!
It just ain’t fair!
Well anyway! I was right!
When Daddy came home, I snuck over to the top of the stairs and I could hear them discussing the letter and me!
Daddy didn’t sound pleased and neither did Mummy!
Then I could hear them heading my way, so I ducked back into my room again!
Oh man! I felt like my tummy was gonna take off and fly away ‘cos of all the butterflies, and I sincerely wished that I could fly away with it.
As I predicted, Daddy’s sense of humour concerning practical jokes seemed to have got lost somewhere, the same as Mummy’s.
Daddy told me that Mrs O’Halloran wasn’t a well lady and that I could have made her very ill doing what I did.
Then he said that apart from that, it was very naughty and disrespectful, and it wasn’t the sort of behavior that he expected from a son of his!
Mummy got in some stuff about me being a naughty boy too, in the breaks when Daddy was getting his breath back, and told me that I deserved to be very well punished for what I did!
Oh man! I just knew that I was gonna get the Grand-daddy of all spankings!
Just then though, Daddy told me I had a chance to redeem myself a little.
He said that Sister Hannah had said in the letter, that she was desperately looking for more boys to help with the school carol singing.
I knew that!
I’d been asked, and like most of the guys had said NO!!!, ‘cos you have to wear these girly red cassock things and white lace collars and stuff!
Then he said that he and Mummy had talked it over, and that if I was prepared to do a good thing, and help out with the carol singing, then they would go easier on me, and I wouldn’t be spanked so severely.
Gee Whiz! Talk about blackmail!
What was I gonna say?
So, of course I agreed to it, with feelings of disgust when I thought about those red cassocks!
But my little botty was gonna end up red enough already, without asking for more trouble.
I knew what was next on the agenda, and so I just took off my pyjama pants without them having to ask.
I went across Mummy’s lap first up, and got my age, twelve juicy smacks with my school ruler, which unfortunately was lying to hand on my desk.
That was better than feeling the bite of her very hurty wooden spoon though.
With my little bare bottom now, I presume, a nice shade of pink, I deposited myself across Daddy’s waiting lap, and got my age again, but just with his hand, but I assure you that hurts enough!
Much less “OUCH” than his hairbrush however, which I was dreading getting!
So that was that.
When it was over, I didn’t bother to put my pants back on.
I just lay on my bed on my tummy and had a little sniffle as you do on these occasions.
Later Mummy came up, and gave me a botty-rub with some cool lotion, which took some of the heat out of my hot little behind.
Then she gave me a loving kiss on my little bare bottom and helped me to put my pants back on.
Then she asked me if I’d like her to bring me up some supper?
You bet Mummy!!!
Daddy came up at bedtime, and he and Mummy hugged me and kissed me and tucked me in.
Gee, that was nice! It makes you feel good when you know you’ve been forgiven, and that your Daddy and Mummy love you a lot.
I felt a little uneasy though, when they said that I would be a darling, angelic little choirboy, and that they were looking forward to taking lots of pictures of me in my cassock and collar, and sending them off to our relatives this Christmas, to show them how cute I looked!
- Conclusion -- Darren's Narrative
I called round for Donny, as I just didn’t fancy turning up at the school all on my own. We’d both got over our spankings now although Donny told me I’d got off light as all I’d got was a spanking from Dad ‘cos I’d volunteered to come here, but his Pop didn’t give him any remission. He’d got the three licks from Fr. Percy and then the belt as well. Have to say I sorta agree with him, but I ain’t going to tell him that!
So we met Sister Hannah in the school parking lot and she gave all of us these daft Christmas hats to wear and little lamps to carry. Peter was so relieved that we didn’t have to wear choir robes after all that he didn’t complain about the hats.
As we were getting in the van, Sister passed out pillows to Donny, Adrian, Patrick and me. The others laughed, ‘cos they knew we all had sore bottoms after having to take home letters. The five of us squeezed into the seat at the back, and Peter had the idea of mooning other cars and showing them how red our bottoms were, but no one else thought it was a good idea to risk another letter home!
We finally go to the hospital, and it was funny really, ‘cos to start with all of us were just sorta messing around and not really singing at all. Then as we went round you could see that these little kids were really enjoying us being there even though they weren’t well – and some of ‘em were pretty sick I can tell you. And that was when it dawned on me that I was lucky. I wasn’t sick and I wasn’t going to be in hospital for Christmas.
In the last ward we visited there was this little kid of about six or seven who was all bandaged up and in traction with a couple of broken legs. He’d been in a car crash some weeks back and both his parents had been killed in it. Turns out he’s Mexican and an only child and tho’ he does have an aunt down there that he’ll be going to live with when he’s better, right now he’s got nobody. Despite all that, he was still smiling and looking forward to Father Christmas coming to see him.
I’m not sure which one of us mentioned it first, but all of us got to talking on the way home. We’ve decided we are going to spend at least part of our Christmas in hospital. After all, it really wouldn’t be right to leave little Jésus all on his own on Christmas Day – would it?
Peter is lucky he doesn't go to St. Basil's! They had to come in school uniforms to sing carols at Bramblehurst Retirement Village.
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