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BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production

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1 BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:44 pm

Skater


Bransom Postmaster
Tommy's Trick
A Production



Tommy 12
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Your son Tommy has entered a period in his life where he's been testing his boundries and pushing some of the rules.

Spanking is a consequence you use for certain kinds of behavior but you do use other methods. For example when you caught him playing his video games before homework was done over and over again you took the game away from him for 2 weeks.

You talked to his friends parents and they agreed to enforce the punishment and not allow him to play at their houses. Today you found out where Tommy's been going when he told you he was going to play hoops or going to the library. He was going to the mall where he found one of his games in a arcade.

You were shopping when you caught him.

What happens next. You don't think he's seen you. Does Tommy sleep on his belly tonight?


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2 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:53 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
I guess it depends on what, precisely, he was told about the video game. If he isn't allowed to play HIS game, in kidspeak, playing the same game in an arcade isn't HIS game. In that case, I'm going to make myself perfectly clear.

There is no question he's violated the spirit if not the letter of his restriction. He also has lied about his whereabouts if he claimed to be playing hoops or going to library when he was actually at the mall. He probably has a future in law (heaven forbid).

I'm going to try to explain to him that spinning in legalese is not a desirable trait, especially with one's parents. I'm going to call him out on his dishonesty about his whereabouts, though I won't necessarily spank for it. If he was forbidden from playing THE game, in any form, anywhere, then he's going to sleep on his tummy tonight. Even if he's able to sleep on his back, his ears will still be ringing.

3 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:03 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
He gets spanked for lying as well as he is now grounded to the house.

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4 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:27 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
I am more concerned about him being someplace other than where he told me.

I agree with Kier as far as the response to the video game.

I will spank him for lying about his whereabouts and, like John Boy said, he can finish out his restriction grounded to the house.


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5 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:37 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
Tommy is other than where he said he would be. Tommy is twelve and has been around me for long enough to know when I take away a game and let other parents know he's not to be playing it at their house it means he's not to be playing it anywhere.

He can sleep anyway he wants, but his bottom and thighs will be stinging. He is now grounded as well.

6 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:28 pm

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
Tommy can have a choice between taking a spanking for lying about the library to circumvent his punishment, in which case the video game restriction will be lifted or continuing the restriction from day 1 but with very strict tabs kept on his whereabouts.

Kat

7 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sun Dec 02, 2012 2:46 am

ivor


Marshall
It's the lying about his whereabouts that bothers me the most, although as he knew he was forbidden to play the game at his friends' homes he should have realised he was forbidden from playing it anywhere. But, I can concede the letter of the law may apply on that aspect.

But, as he has found a way round the restriction I imposed he's going to get spanked for lying. He can't find a way round that!

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8 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sun Dec 02, 2012 4:04 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
He lied to get round my restriction so no amount of splitting hairs is going to help. Lying for this purpose is a serious matter. I am also less than pleased about where he went as arcade areas are notorious haunts for predators and I certainly would not want him there on his own. That I may not have made clear but I will now. But the lie and its purpose gets him a hard paddling and a weeks extension of his ban. Tommy will learn to abide by the letter and spirit of the rules. We will also discuss more generally his behaviour lately.

9 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sun Dec 02, 2012 4:06 am

Padraig


Trailboss
Don't know the environment we're talking about but at 12 my parents never knew where I was. I went out after homework and came back for supper (or later Embarassed ). Even when I said I'm heading to a friend's house it was likely we would be heading to the soccer pit a few minutes later. So it still works today.

So the question is to me whether he went straight to the mall to play games or just didn't find other mates or things to do? I agree, he should know what taking his electronics meant.

10 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sun Dec 02, 2012 4:22 am

Jack


Admin
This is one of those things where I need to stop and think.

For myself, Jack, I don't make the kids do homework first, for the simple reason that they've been doing homework all day, and they need a break (just like I never come in from the store, then sit straight down to my paperwork).

One of the great things about my homework folders is that the boys (or I) can take a look and gauge about how much homework they actually have, but I honestly don't see a problem with letting them go play or spend a little screen time after a snack. As a matter of fact, the scenario never even says Tommy wasn't getting his homework done, just that he wasn't doing it when I thought he should.

So, as the father in this scenario, there's a good chance that Tommy will be getting spanked for lying to me about where he was going, but only if he really did lie to me. From the scenario, it sounds like I'm reading way too much into finding him there, and I would be willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. If the mall is outside of his boundaries, or if he definitely told me he'd be someplace completely different and this couldn't be a stop on that trip, then he'll be getting a standard spanking for that.

I am, however, going to stop being such a stick about taking all the fun out of his life (which I'm sure is his view) and giving him a bit more freedom, as long as he uses it correctly.

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11 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sun Dec 02, 2012 4:28 am

Jack


Admin
Padraig wrote:Don't know the environment we're talking about but at 12 my parents never knew where I was. I went out after homework and came back for supper (or later Embarassed ). Even when I said I'm heading to a friend's house it was likely we would be heading to the soccer pit a few minutes later. So it still works today.

So the question is to me whether he went straight to the mall to play games or just didn't find other mates or things to do? I agree, he should know what taking his electronics meant.

Thank you, Pad - I was beginning to think I was the only one.

With my younger kids, I want to know where they are. With the older kids, I will punish more harshly if they're out of their boundaries or not home on time, but I give them more freedom about where they go within those boundaries.

When I was this age, I'd often say something to the effect of, "I'm going bike riding - I might go see what Allen or John is doing." The truth of the matter was that I was usually all over, and occasionally out of, town.

As for the video gaming, home games and arcade games are no longer anything alike, so I can see why Tommy might have considered the restriction not applying (or why circumventing you was okay, considering you called his friends' parents and told them he was in trouble, which seems like a real cheap shot).

For myself, I would have probably found one of my minor friends, who you wouldn't have known to call, and been over there playing.

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12 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sun Dec 02, 2012 4:40 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
He thinks he's put one over on me and just look at the devilment in his face.

Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Oh Boy! Oh Boy! Twisted Evil Evil or Very Mad

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13 Re: BOTD 12-02-12 Tommy's Trick! A Production on Sun Dec 02, 2012 8:07 am

StevieWeeks


Trailboss
I probably would not care exactly when Thomas actually does his homework as long as it gets done before his normal bedtime... so this problem would not be likely to arise; the scenario does not state that he has not been doing it, just that he's been caught playing his video games before he is finished it.

That said, predicating the fact that he has been told he is not to play video games, he has deliberately disobeyed me... and the fact that he's lied about his whereabouts shows that the lad was well aware that he was doing so at the time. I don't buy the story that the disobedience was inadvertent. It wasn't. He would not have bothered to lie unless he knew the video arcade was off limits.

He is still only twelve, which means that, as far as I am concerned, I need to have some idea where he is and what he is going to be doing when he is out of the house. I'm not going to be too sticky about it and there is always the possibility that he will drift off somewhere with his friends and forget to call me but I still want to keep some kind of tab on him... when he starts high school this will be relaxed and he will only be given a curfew.

So, I'm annoyed with him on two levels. Given my temper, I would most likely have gone into the arcade and immediately taken him home without stopping to think (There is more than one good reason why I'm not a parent) and in the cold light of dawn, I would probably have considered the amount of embarrassment in this combined with a short period of total grounding to be sufficient punishment and all..

If I waited until he returned home, he'd be punished quite a bit more severely. I don't think I would spank - in Canada, I could not legally spank him at twelve in any case - but I would make it very clear that he had violated my trust in him and that I expected better. He would probably be grounded for some time... and he would also be informed that his actions would be subject to greater scrutiny for some time afterward.

He would be told that I needed to rebuild my trust in him before we returned to normal.

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