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BOTD 12/18/12 "Devon Goes To The Mall" A Late Chat Good Boy Prod.

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David M. Katz


Marshall
DEVON GOES TO THE MALL

A *Late Chat Good Boy Production

(*Jkher, JohnBoy, Leti and DMK)

Your thirteen year old son, Devon, is not allowed to go to the mall by himself, especially during the busy Holiday season. He would have to ride his bike in heavy traffic to the bus stop and then take the bus across town. You just do not think it is safe. Devon is out of school for Winter Break and he wants to go to the mall. You tell him you will take him tomorrow as you have to work today. Devon gets bored and decides to go on his own anyway. He successfully makes it through traffic and secures his bike at the bus stop. He makes it across town to the crowded mall without incident.

DEVON - 13

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Devon is sitting at the food court finishing his lunch when something on the floor under his table catches his eye. He picks it up. It is a woman's wallet. Devon is curious so he opens the wallet. Devon counts five hundred dollars and notices a credit card as well. Devon's thoughts immediately rush to the game system he has been wanting. The cash would more than cover the game system plus several games. Devon almost takes the cash and the credit card to head over and buy the system and the games and then he notices some pictures in the wallet. It is a picture of four young children - three boys and a girl.

Something comes over Devon and he takes the wallet to the mall security office leaving the cash and credit card untouched. Hoping the wallet will be unclaimed and thinking the money would then be his, Devon leaves his name and phone number. Devon successfully makes it back home and you are none the wiser of his adventure.

Devon is out with friends and you are home from work and resting. Devon left his phone behind and it rings and you answer it. On the other end is an extremely grateful single mother. She asks for Devon and you explain you are the parent and he is out. The caller relates how her wallet fell out of her purse at the mall and how Devon turned it in with all of the cash intact. She says she is so thankful because the money was all she had for her children's Christmas gifts and for groceries. She commends Devon and tells you to be proud of your honest and caring son. She insists on giving Devon a reward and asks if she may have a mailing address.

So, Devon blatantly disobeyed you yet he did a good deed. What would have happened had he not been at the mall to recover the wallet?

What will you tell the thankful caller? What will happen to Devon when he comes in? Does the good deed balance out the deliberate disobedience?


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AFinch


Sherrif
I will tell the caller that I'm glad everything worked out so well for her. I'll tell her no reward is necessary, but if she insists, I will give her my business, not home, address.

When Devon comes in, I will relate the phone call to him. It will be clear that I know he was at the mall when he had been specifically, that day, forbidden from going.

The fact that Devon made it through traffic and managed so well means that I will rethink my rule--but the time for rethinking is BEFOREHAND, not after you've violated the rule. It may be easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, but that isn't what I want him to learn at this point in his life.

Neither do I want to teach Devon, especially at so early an age, that "no good deed ever goes unpunished", but he has blatantly disobeyed. I'm going to read him the riot act, give him a few stingoors as opposed to a "real spanking", and let him know he won't be going with me to the mall tomorrow since he chose to go on his own today. I will, however, let him keep the reward, if any, and I will make sure he knows how proud I am of him for turning in the wallet and credit cards.

Stone Man


Marshall
I'll tell the caller how pleased I am to hear this nice thing about my son. I'll tell her there is no need for a reward and that the act will be his reward.

When Devon comes in I'll tell him about the call and how grateful the mother is for his good deed. I'll also praise him for the deed and hug him... just before giving him a stingoor.

I will listen to his explanation, but he knows me well enough to know his good deed will not wash away his disobedience.

I'll be giving him a choice... if he still wants to go to the mall with me (and my credit cards) he can take a lickin' for his actions and still go with me tomorrow or he can stay home and sulk.

John Boy


Sherrif
I will thank him and say that this is his only free ride. Next time he won't be able to ride his bike if I catch him breaking my rules again.

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David M. Katz


Marshall
John Boy wrote:Next time he won't be able to ride his bike if I catch him breaking my rules again.

So, does that mean you are impounding the bike as punishment or he will be too sore to sit on it? Or, both? Twisted Evil


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John Boy


Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote:
John Boy wrote:Next time he won't be able to ride his bike if I catch him breaking my rules again.

So, does that mean you are impounding the bike as punishment or he will be too sore to sit on it? Or, both? Twisted Evil
Maybe both but defiantly not able to sit Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

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David M. Katz


Marshall
I am mostly with Stone. I want to concentrate on the praise for the good deed.

His punishment for the disobedience will be to lose his bike for a day or two. It isn't especially harsh but I still need to send the message that I will respond to disobedience.

I will then look at evaluating my rule about the mall.


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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm with Katz on this one. A mild punishment is in order but I don't want a punishment to overshadow the positive. I want to tell Devon how proud I am of him and make sure he realizes how important the money was to the lady. I think ultimately he will be happier if he doesn't get a reward for this, but I'll keep it in mind when I do my Christmas shopping.

Kat

Jkher


Trailboss
How could you touch that angel Suspect ?

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John Boy


Sherrif
Jkher wrote:How could you touch that angel Suspect ?

How can I touch him? simple I reach out and put him in a big bear hug. I will tell him how proud I am of him, and just warn him about what will happen next time; good deed or not
Twisted Evil

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Iconoclast


Trailboss
I will congratulate on his skill getting to the mall safely and relax his restrictions on going to the mall hereafter. I will congratulate Devon for his honesty'

ivor


Marshall
I'm with JB

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MemoryMan


Sherrif
I'll tell the lady how pleased I am to hear this nice thing about my son and when Devon comes in I'll tell him about the call and how grateful the mother is for his good deed. I'll also tell him how proud I am of him for his honesty in the face of temptation. BUT ... I'll remind him. he has disobeyed me by going to the Mall and he can go to his room to "prepare."

After allowing him to stew for a few minutes I'll go up and tell him to put his trousers back on and then we'll talk. I'll tell him that now he's growing up and no longer a child all his childhood rules are open to renegotiation but the time for this is BEFORE they are violated.

I'll admit that at thirteen I was probably being overprotective and that visiting the Mall is one rule we can talk about, but by going there when he was forbidden to do so he has let himself down and disappointed me because I want to be able to trust him.

Hopefully this can be the start of a positive evolution in our relationship.

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squarecutter


Sherrif
I hated shopping when I was 13. Clearly times have changed. I am not going to let on to the lady that Devon shouldn't even have been there and I will accept the reward on his behalf

However we are not going to get onto that big time till I have Chewed Devon's ears off about his disobedience. He has to know he

cannot choose what rules to obey or not as it suits him. After he has had stingers and had his bike impounded for a week I will move on to the other part.

I'm delighted but in a sense only because I hoped I instilled good values in my boy that would steer him to doing the right thing here

I am pleased he has and proud of him for it but as I might point out anything less is theft. I won't be making a special trip to the Mall but if I'm going anyway he can come too.

We will then talk about changing the rule on cycling to the Mall but not quite yet as I don't want to be rewarding a misdeed

db105


Trailboss
How evil Jkher, JohnBoy, Leti and DMK are! Such a dilemma...

OK, I think that in this case the good deed is so good that it outweighs the disobedience. I just don't have the heart to punish him after he does something like this.

I'll tell the lady that no reward is necessary, that if she would be so good to call later and tell Devon what she told me, that will make him feel much better than any material reward.

I'll talk to Devon and explain what happened. I'll tell him I'm extremely proud of him for what he did, that there are things, like being a decent human being, that are more important than money. I'll also remind him why I don't allow him to go to the mall on his own, scold him a little and tell him that he would be in very deep trouble under any other circumstances, but that this time he won't get punished.

His only punishment will be that telling off and not allowing him to accept any material reward.

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Jack


Admin
This is a hard call for me to make, because I can't see a circumstance where I wouldn't have let Devon do this. At slightly younger than Devon's age, my kids are forbidden to ride their bikes to the mall, but that's because they have to cross the highway.

It sounds to me like I have two reasons to reconsider Devon's maturity. Obviously I need to have a talk with him, so he doesn't decide this is carte blanche to start disobeying rules, but I think he gets a pass on this one.

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Padraig


Trailboss
MemoryMan wrote:I'll tell him that now he's growing up and no longer a child all his childhood rules are open to renegotiation but the time for this is BEFORE they are violated.

I bet he'd say he tried just that but you didn't listen...

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Padraig wrote:
MemoryMan wrote:I'll tell him that now he's growing up and no longer a child all his childhood rules are open to renegotiation but the time for this is BEFORE they are violated.

I bet he'd say he tried just that but you didn't listen...

You've been there too? Laughing

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CHRIS


Trailboss
Keir and Cappy have stolen my thunder pretty much!

D'accord you guys! cheers Very Happy

1strappedboy


Sherrif
My kids have found that sometimes it's 'easier to ask forgiveness rather than permission' with me and there may be some of this at work here.

Obviously I need to rethink Devon's ability level, and I will have that discussion with him in due course.

I will tell the young mom that no monetary reward is necessary though if she insists I'll have her send it to my business address as well.

As to Devon's disobedience......

Despite the good deed, Dev knows what will happen if/when he's been discovered. Forgiveness will be forthcoming after he's paid for his disobedience. Twisted Evil He knows that is the price in our house! I will temper the spanking to just a few stingoors in light of the character he's shown upon finding the wallet/his ability to rise above such temptation. Obviously he's getting the 'important' messages down correctly.

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