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BONUS!! BOTD 3/18/13 "Go Without Me!" DMK Bonus

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David M. Katz


Marshall
I have several in the queue and thought I would treat us to a BONUS. No RL situation; it is just because.

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GO WITHOUT ME!
A DMK Production


Today is Friday. Every Friday night your family (you, your spouse, your thirteen year -old son Wyatt, and your twin seven year-old daughters) always have dinner at the local pizza buffet.

Wyatt has had a really bad day. He got in trouble in school for excessive talking and earned a detention to be served on Monday. When he came home today (Friday) he refused to do his chore, he cursed at your spouse and he slapped one of his little sisters on the arm when she wouldn't relinquish the TV. You gave Wyatt a deluxe session with his paddle. After his spanking, Wyatt would not talk with you and he refused your hug and ran off and planted himself face down on the sofa and would not speak to anyone.


WYATT - 13 (Post Spanking)
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About forty-five minutes have passed and it is time to leave for dinner. Your spouse tells Wyatt to get his shoes and go to the car so you all can leave for dinner. He ignores your spouse. You intervene and repeat the request to Wyatt. Wyatt looks at you and says, "I don't want to go anywhere with you people. Just leave me alone. Go without me!" Wyatt plants his face in the sofa and starts crying again.

What do you do? Does Wyatt get any pizza tonight?



Last edited by David M. Katz on Mon Mar 18, 2013 11:08 am; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Time line clarification)


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AFinch


Sherrif
I'm going to take Wyatt to his room. To talk.

Sometimes people just have really bad days. I'm going to want to know if anything is going on he'd like to tell me about though. If there isn't some "deep dark secret" bothering him, I'm going to ask one more time if he'd like to join us all for pizza. If he declines, I'll ask if he'd like me to bring home a couple of slices when we return.

Otherwise, at 13, he's old enough to fix himself a sandwich and stay home alone for a couple of hours. I'll gently drop a hint that he'd better be home when we get back, and that I'm here for him, when and if he wants to talk.

LLALVA


Trailboss
I would ask my spouse to take the twins to the restaurant, and either to dine there and bring us pizza, or get take out pizza for all the family.
Rolling Eyes I'll stay with Wyatt, and will ask him if he would like to watch a movie with me. I hope he'll want to have some pizza later and would want to talk to me.


1strappedboy


Sherrif
I don't like the fact that he's pouting to this degree. Given the behaviors at home; chore refusal, hitting sis and cussing mom, he more than earned the paddling. That being said though, I hope that before summary execution I had a talk with him about the why's and wherefore's. I always do this in R/L so as to uncover any underlying issues that may be driving the behavior.

Presuming that I had talked with him before the spanking, I have to take this as teen-age angst. I think that if I let him stay home and sulk this is going to become a bigger problem in the future.

I rather like Leti's idea of letting mom take the girls out and have her return with pizza to eat here at home. While she's out, Wyatt and I can talk and hopefully patch things up. I know we usually go to the buffet, but a pie (or 2) at home will do just fine tonight.

John Boy


Sherrif
I will let my Wife take the twins out, and stay home with him. Something else must be bothering him, and I want to be there to help figure it out.

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ivor


Marshall
I'll go with those who suggest bringing him one back, but I bet he won't fancy his usual Cajun Sizzler Smile

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squarecutter


Sherrif
13 I suppose is the borderline for leaving a 13 year old home alone for 2 hours. especially one throwing his own kind of strop. I'd very much prefer to be able to talk Wyatt round round. As its Friday We can take a bit more time for me to try. I think Wyatt might feel better for some food and also if he hasn't already to apologize to his Mum and his little sister. I can joke that we could even take a cushion for him to sit on. If that fails I need to feel right in my mind that Wyatt isn't in the mood to do something stupid if we aren't there. I will tell him what was poor but he has paid for it and the sooner he can move on the better he will feel and he will get no teasing from his sisters if I have anything to do with it.

Stone Man


Marshall
Whether I can leave him alone and bring pizza back, or I feel I need to stay with him depends a lot on his past personality and actions. This could easily be a teen moment and last for a while, or a bump in the road with him wanting to be with us after all.

I think I'll send the girls off with my spouse but have them get our usual table and order in case Wyatt and I show up a little bit late.

I will consider this a dress rehearsal as I will have two girls in their teens all too soon.

ivor wrote:I'll go with those who suggest bringing him one back, but I bet he won't fancy his usual Cajun Sizzler Smile

As long as he can eat it and not have to sit on it he should be OK with it. Razz

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I don't find it all odd that Wyatt doesn't want to spend time with his family just 45 minutes after a deluxe paddling. When a kid is 13, it may not matter a lot whether he earned the paddling or not. Let's just say his view of what happened is not likely to be objective. I'd be amazed if he did want to go on an outing. 45 minutes is not a very long time to nurse his wounded feelings and sore bottom.

I imagine that right now Wyatt wants two paradoxical things: to be left alone and to receive reassurance that he is loved and valued. Conventional wisdom is to let a sulker sulk. In ordinary circs, I probably would. Right now, though, I think he needs the reassurance more than he needs to the space. I like Leti's idea of staying home with him and letting the ladies go out for pizza.

Kat

Jack


Admin
I'm kind of torn on this one. From the scenario, I'd say the Dad in it is probably going to give him another session. To me, however, I'm torn between honoring his request and sending the ladies off without either of us.

If I stay home, I'm going to do what I should have done earlier and use my mouth, not my paddle. Wyatt is obviously having an Alexander day, and I need to give him a chance to talk it out. He does need to understand that his behavior was unacceptable, and he needs to learn that he can't take out his bad feelings on other people, but I need to respect him (even his moodiness) if I want him to learn to respect others.

If I go without him, I'm bringing him a personal of his favorite back, but I'm not leaving without him until I've told him I'm sorry he's had a rotten day, and that we'll miss him. If I let the ladies go alone, I'm going to listen to him, explain why I reacted as I did, then the two of us will go catch up with the rest of the family.

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kalico


Sherrif
I like Jacks .....I will talk to him and see if we can patch things up, if not then, like jack, I'll send everyone off ahead. Im sure I can get him to come around and we'll meet up with the rest of the family and while we are out I will make sure I spend quality time playing some games with him.

Stone man wrote:
I will consider this a dress rehearsal as I will have two girls in their teens all too soon.

Dont you know it ..... Razz , my middle just started with all the drama .... affraid


hugs kal

MemoryMan


Sherrif
In this situation moodiness and resentment can be expected and dealt with or ignored as seems appropriate; but Wyatt is 13 and genuine distress accompanied by tears is a cry for help that must not be ignored.

I'll send the womenfolk off alone with the instruction that if we haven't called or joined them by the time they are ready to return to call me for my order. Once they leave I'll ruffle Wyatt's hair and sit quietly in the adjoining chair until his tears stop. Then it will be up to me to follow the signs.

I will probably need to apologise for jumping in and spanking him as a first option when what he really needed was some understanding and SPACE. Sad



Last edited by MemoryMan on Mon Mar 18, 2013 3:46 pm; edited 1 time in total

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David M. Katz


Marshall
Jack wrote:I'm kind of torn on this one. From the scenario, I'd say the Dad in it is probably going to give him another session. To me, however, I'm torn between honoring his request and sending the ladies off without either of us.

If I stay home, I'm going to do what I should have done earlier and use my mouth, not my paddle. Wyatt is obviously having an Alexander day, and I need to give him a chance to talk it out. He does need to understand that his behavior was unacceptable, and he needs to learn that he can't take out his bad feelings on other people, but I need to respect him (even his moodiness) if I want him to learn to respect others.

If I go without him, I'm bringing him a personal of his favorite back, but I'm not leaving without him until I've told him I'm sorry he's had a rotten day, and that we'll miss him. If I let the ladies go alone, I'm going to listen to him, explain why I reacted as I did, then the two of us will go catch up with the rest of the family.

DITTO Jack with three words added that will explain it all: Pu Ber Ty.


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John Boy


Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote:
Jack wrote:I'm kind of torn on this one. From the scenario, I'd say the Dad in it is probably going to give him another session. To me, however, I'm torn between honoring his request and sending the ladies off without either of us.

If I stay home, I'm going to do what I should have done earlier and use my mouth, not my paddle. Wyatt is obviously having an Alexander day, and I need to give him a chance to talk it out. He does need to understand that his behavior was unacceptable, and he needs to learn that he can't take out his bad feelings on other people, but I need to respect him (even his moodiness) if I want him to learn to respect others.

If I go without him, I'm bringing him a personal of his favorite back, but I'm not leaving without him until I've told him I'm sorry he's had a rotten day, and that we'll miss him. If I let the ladies go alone, I'm going to listen to him, explain why I reacted as I did, then the two of us will go catch up with the rest of the family.

DITTO Jack with three words added that will explain it all: Pu Ber Ty.

lol! Very True

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Kittykat


Deputy
I think for me, the question is did I overreact to what happened. I'm not saying he was right to hit his sister, and certainly not right to cuss at his parent. Did he deserve a spanking, yes, a deluxe session? I don't know. We need to talk and I'm going to send dad off with the girls and try to get him to open up. If not, then Dad can bring back pizza for us and we can just watch a movie until he's ready.

Pi Beta


Deputy
I hate pizzas - at last I've got an excuse not to go with the wife and choose to eat what Wyatt and I prefer!

Jack


Admin
I am very leery of the term 'cussed at'. I remember once, when I was in 6th grade, we were running late. My mom was taking me to school, which was very unusual, so I'm guessing we'd had a power outage or something.

The thing is, Mom usually made my lunch, but she didn't that day. When I asked, she cussed and started digging through her purse to give me enough change to get a tray. She was handing me a handful of nickels, and barely had enough for me to eat. Part of the overflowing change spilt and fell in the crack between the side of the seat and the center counsel.

I said 'damn it.'

Her response was to drop her purse and start slapping my legs.

Remember, that was after she'd cursed for me wanting to eat lunch.

So to me, when someone says they were 'cursed at', I'm going to be very careful to make sure they were cussed at, and not just that a curse word was floating in the air with no direction. Similarly, as an older brother with a spawn-of-satan in female clothes who was four years younger than me, I am against the hitting, but I want to know the details. I don't know how many times Satana's idea of sharing the TV was to watch what she wanted until it was all over, then let me have a turn. And I don't know how many times she hit me, I hit her back, then I got punished for hitting her.

Maybe Wyatt really is having a bad day, but no matter what he's done, I understand why he feels the entire world is against him.

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AFinch


Sherrif
I agree. In my lifetime, "society" has always had a huge problem distinguishing between someone "being mad" or "being mad a me" and between cussing "damn it" and cussing at someone "damn you". That's gotten MUCH worse over the last 20 years.

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