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BOTD BONUS 3/26/13 "THE SUBSTITUTE" DMK BONUS

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1 BOTD BONUS 3/26/13 "THE SUBSTITUTE" DMK BONUS on Tue Mar 26, 2013 1:55 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
THE SUBSTITUTE
A DMK Bonus Production


NATE - 12

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Last year your now twelve year old son, Nate, clashed terribly with a substitute teacher.

This year Nate realized the same substitute was covering his third period class. Nate decided to not go to class and he instead went to the library and sat down and started reading. The librarian questioned him as to why he was there. Nate explained he had a sub that period and she had said he could come to the library and read. (To clarify, Nate never talked to the substitute teacher.) The librarian knows and trusts Nate and so she never checked his story out. Nate was reported to the office as skipping by the sub.

After lunch Nate was called in to the office by the principal and asked to explain himself. Nate told all and was truthful about everything. Nate explained his past history with this sub which the principal is aware of. The principal decided to not "charge" Nate with skipping which would have meant Nate would have been given three licks. Instead he assigned Nate a detention. Nate asked if he could serve his detention today so the principal called you and explained the matter. You agreed with the detention for today and so Nate will spend an hour after school with the janitorial crew. You asked to speak to your son.

Nate seemed to understand why he was in trouble and he understood what he had done wrong and was accepting of the detention. He then asked, "Am I in trouble when I get home?"

Is he?


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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John Boy


Sherrif
We will talk about it, however whether he is in trouble or not, I will leave the ball in his court on that.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

Iconoclast


Trailboss
No!

Iconoclast

Pi Beta


Deputy
No, but we will have a talk about how people can change over time and that perhaps he should at least give the substitute a chance. If the substitute can't let bygones be bygones (s)he shouldn't be teaching.

Kittykat


Deputy
YES! He should have called home and explained the situation to me or my spouse. Skipping class isn't acceptable under any circumstance unless it's a health reason or some kind of school emergency. He'll get a choice of either a spanking, or being grounded for the week.

1strappedboy


Sherrif
I'm not happy with his decision to skip and lie it to the librarian. He gets points for not trying to worm his way out when questioned by the principal and accepting detention.

Whether or not his rear remains white will depend heavily upon his attitude as we discuss this. I can understant that he would not want to deal with a person with whom he clashed so badly before, but as someone mentioned he needs to realize that people change and even if he didn't particularly like the idea, he is to be where he assigned as assigned. This is an opportunity for him to learn that we can't always control circumstances and any future repeat of this will earn a red butt when he gets home from school. Of course if he gives me even a whiff of 'tude, he's toast!! Twisted Evil

John Boy


Sherrif
Pi Beta wrote:No, but we will have a talk about how people can change over time and that perhaps he should at least give the substitute a chance.

I had a sub like this, no matter over the three years he would sub, there was no way to make nice. I finally got up enough nerve to tell him how I felt. It didn't fix much, but at least he understood how I felt.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

Jack


Admin
My first feeling is that he should get the three swats for skipping. However, the important thing is that he learns the correct way to deal with matters. I would tell him that I didn't know if he was in trouble or not, and we'd talk about it when he got home. If he could either explain or figure out (with my help) what he should have done, and he seems to really regret the mistake (instead of feeling like he got away with something), then I'd probably let it go with just the detention.

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squarecutter


Sherrif
I am not happy with him skipping class. He has pre empted any possibility of putting last years incident behind him. If there was more trouble between him and the sub we could press the school on the choices of sub it makes, If it happens again, one way or the other Nate will be paddled. Decisions on what classes to attend are not for 12 year olds to make.

David M. Katz


Marshall
I had two concerns initially. One is that over the past two weeks' Spring Break Nathaniel had a couple of serious issues with lying and trust. Both earned really hard spankings. I was hoping his perceived need to be dishonest was improving. Also, he and I have discussed skipping and he was promised a 'whipping' if he ever did skip regardless of what happened at school.

However, I remember the horrible incident form last year and the issue was related to events surrounding his mom's death and a very uncaring and unprofessional substitute. The issue led to him cussing this teacher and he was sent home and also served detention for it. This substitute has apparently not changed much and she is only used as a last resort. The system was desperate today as lots of faculty are sick and taking professional day s off due to the upcoming holiday. The administration openly admits she is not a professional person and does not interact well with students. Why her services have not been terminated is beyond me. I think the systems hopes by using her on a limited basis she will just go away on her on.

The principal was really on Nathaniel's side. He felt it was just a lapse in judgement and felt no malicious intent was meant by the dishonesty. He also did not call it skipping since Nathaniel never tried to hide his whereabouts and he never left the building and he put himself under faculty supervision. The principal told me Nathaniel was upfront and honest and transparent about everything and was very cooperative.

My answer to Nathaniel was to tell him he needed to think about it and I would think about it and we would discuss it at home.

Anne and I had basically decided to let the detention be sufficient unless we found him to have a bad attitude or be found lying to us.

Nathaniel was contrite and honest and came up with several ways he could have handled the situation differently. First one was he said he should have told the librarian the truth and asked her to help him. She is a huge Nathaniel cheerleader and would have helped him. He also said he could have gone to guidance or to the office. He did, on his own volition, talk to the librarian and fess up and apologize. He is with her fifth period as a library helper. He also said the detention "sucked." We let the detention stand on its own but did charge him the standard $5 car ride fee - he was expecting it.

Many here have been helping me be firmer and more consistent with Nathaniel and I appreciate it and he is responding to it. I just felt in this case that the punishment had fit the crime. Looking the librarian in the face, a person who he adores, and telling the truth and apologizing had to be a hard thing to do. I also took that into consideration.


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John Boy


Sherrif
AWWW I love you Nate, Big Hugs, Some Subs just plain suck. I am glad you were honest in the end. Katz the five dollar idea is a good one. I am glad things seem to have worked out. Nate has you, Anne, Bransom, the Librarian, and me in his corner.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Good to know he's aware of what he did and accepting. I think you're doing the right thing in this instance letting the detention stand without an 'upgrade' at home.


Stone Man


Marshall
I had some thoughts while reading the responses, but reading your answer, Katz, I would say it was ultimately handled well by all concerned.

I'm NOT happy with a school system which still uses a sub known to be inadequate, but that's another topic.

JTT


Cowboy
Like most of the others, we will have a talk when he gets home but there won't be any spanking today.

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MemoryMan


Sherrif
Late in - but I agree. A discussion at home is all that was needed.

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Jack


Admin
When Dmitri says it was right not to follow up at home, you KNOW you made the right decision.

In this case, I agree.

I also agree with the principal. I would have a serious talk with Nate, but it sounds like he realizes what he did wrong on both fronts. And the honest truth (is that redundant?) is that sometimes, when faced with something very unpleasant and/or threatening, most of us don't always make the best decisions.

http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

squarecutter


Sherrif
most of us don't always make the best decisions.

I agree with that and certainly not at 12. I think DK has handled this very well indeed

Guest


Guest
I had to think this one through. The key element is that the principal knew about the trouble with the sub. That means it was a major incident, and that makes me much more understanding. Frankly, I'm not that worried about skipping class. If a kid spends his skipped class reading in the library, he's not in any dangerous situation. The detention, followed up with a reinforcing talk at home, is enough.

The bigger issue to me is that he lied to the librarian. For that he deserves a spanking. However, this might be that moment (it comes with a good kid like this) when it is better not to spank. My talk with him will be entirely about that small decision. I'm going to point out to him that, while I understand, all the librarian will take away from this situation (assuming she finds out about it, and with him in detention that's likely) is that he lied to her. She won't know all the circumstances, so to her mind, a formerly good kid is now a liar. I'll also point out that his principal has trusted him in the past, but that he spent a little bit of that trust on a lie. I'll point out that what he's done is put a question into the mind of a lot of people as to his truthfulness the next time around. I understand wanting to avoid the sub, but to avoid one unpleasant hour, he just spent some of his moral collateral. Not smart.

I suspect that throughout this conversation he will think it will end in a spanking. When it doesn't, he'll probably ask. I'll answer that what he gave up in the trust of other people is far worse than I can take from him with any punishment. It might be a very bad night for him thinking that through. I'll need to tell him that I still love him, and that I'll continue to work to trust him, but that building trust back up at school will be a long process. If he wants to, he can begin by going to the librarian and the principal and apologizing for the lie, but I'll only recommend that and leave the decision to his own initiative.

ivor


Marshall
While I firmly believe you can't have kids deciding which classes they will or won't attend there were some very good extenuating circumstances in this case. Nate shoud just have handled it differently rather than making his own decision and then compounding it with a lie. However, that is all said with the wisdom of age Smile and I suspect 12 yr olds don't think that way.

Seems to me the issue has been resolved fairly all round and won't happen again.

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kalico


Sherrif
Im inclined to do nothing at home....I,like JB, had a sub who HATED my entire class of "91" and would let us all know everytime she subed...she told us things like "we would never amount to anything"....bla bla bla...

I would be happy that nate didnt leave the school and went to the library, a safe haven so to speak as he knew the teacher and trusted. I wonder maybe if maybe this is something nate can due when she is around or possibly he go down the office and stay.


HUGS FOR NATE!!!

hugs kal

Kittykat


Deputy
I jumped the gun on my original answer, no spanking at home just talk.

John Boy


Sherrif
Jack wrote:When Dmitri says it was right not to follow up at home, you KNOW you made the right decision.


Well said Jack, I personally was thinking that but was to affraid I mean I respect Dimitri to much to say it out loud.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

Padraig


Trailboss
Well, I'm a bit late to the party, so all I can do is agree with what has been said.

Big Kid Now


Cowboy
Poor kid. Sad I agree that he shouldn't be spanked. He served his detention and apologized to the librarian on his own.

I really have to question the school's lame excuses about keeping that horrible substitute teacher on. In this economy, they can't find any willing replacements...really? I find that very hard to believe.

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