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BOTD 4/25/13 "Driving Me Crazy" A DMK Production

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David M. Katz

A DMK Production

You have two sons, Jeremy is fourteen and Jacob is sixteen. If needed you use a variety of different punishments with the boys such as grounding and privilege loss but spanking is still very much an option and the boys are aware of this. Jacob just got his driver's license and bought a car with savings and a little help from you. Jeremy also knows how to drive (mostly) but, because of his age, he cannot have a license or permit.

Jeremy - 14
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Jacob - 16
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Jacob's story when he called you:

He and Jeremy were home alone and Jeremy wanted to go to the store to get some snacks. Jacob said he was driving Jeremy to the store and somehow lost control of his car and the car is now in a ditch and he can't get it out. He assured you everyone was fine. He also thinks the car is OK (it is) but he just can't get it out of the ditch.

Jeremy's story:

He backs up Jacob's story.


You give Jacob your auto club information and tell him to have the tow truck pull his car out of the ditch and you will look at the car with him when you get home.

You get home and look at the car with Jacob. All seems fine but Jacob and Jeremy are both acting strange. You chalk it up to them just being shook from the incident. You decide all's well that ends well and so you just caution Jacob to be more careful.

You get a phone call from your "concerned" next door neighbor, Mrs. Kravitz. She tells you all about how she saw Jeremy's accident and wants to know if he is truly OK and is the "older boy's" car OK. She said Jeremy assured her he did not need any help when she went to check on him. She further says that she must be really getting old because she was certain Jeremy was only fourteen but since he was driving he must be sixteen. You clarify with Mrs. Kravitz that it was Jeremy she saw driving and she assures you he was the only one in the car. She says Jacob did not show up until a few minutes later. You assure your "concerned" neighbor that everything is just fine. You question the boys and the truth comes out.

The truth:

Jacob and Jeremy were home together and Jeremy did want to go get snacks but Jacob did not want to drive him to the store. Jeremy persisted and so Jacob told him to just use his car and go. Jacob and Jeremy add that the store was close and Jeremy does know how to drive (mostly) and so they assumed it would be OK. Jacob gave Jeremy his keys. Jeremy lost control and ended up in the ditch and so they decided to just say Jacob was driving "so they wouldn't worry you." Jacob also adds that it is "his car" and he should be able to do with it as he wants.

What happens?

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


It may be "his car", but 14 year olds are not allowed to drive, legally, even with a licensed adult driver.

Jeremy is 14. Jacob is not a "licensed adult drive", and both boys are in the wrong.

They further compounded their crime by lying to me. And when they were caught out, rather than being penitent they're handing me teenage attitude. They didn't make up their story so as "not to worry me". They did it so as not to get in trouble.

They've behaved like little boys, not near adults. And they'll be treated that way.

Both boys are getting switched. Jacob is losing his driving privileges for a month. He can look at "his car", but he can't drive it. Jeremy will be told that if there is a recurrence, he won't be getting his license until he's 18.


Both boys are getting the full dozen, well laid on. Kovya there is also losing his keys for at least a month! If we have another occasion of underage driving, as Doc pointed out, Jer can forget about a license til 18 rolls around!


Editor Extraordinaire
I can understand why the boys lied, but nothing excuses the serious lack of judgment both of them displayed. Both of them are toast -- burned toast.


John Boy

Well lying equals butts a frying.



but.... most likely wouldn't have happened here because you cannot drive a car unill at least 17 (with an adult) or 18, and I can't say that's wrong as such examples show.


Thanks Kier! Very Happy


Actually I suspect Jeremy has pestered his big brother into making the suggestion he did, irresponsible as it was. Jeremy was the one who actually broke the law and lies so he can cut a switch. Jacob made a silly suggestion but no one forced Jeremy to drive. Jacob was nhowever, highly irresponsible as I said and also lied and I will be taking his keys for a week and giving him the paddling of his life. That and a share of the cost of repairs will teach him to cherish the freedom he now has and not make silly suggestions to his brother. I imagine part of his reason for lying was to cover for Jeremy as well as himself.


One, there is no way that Jake doesn't know that driving without a license is illegal, and it being his car doesn't change that. I'm going to give him the fish eye until he fidgets and breaks down, admitting that he just thought they wouldn't get caught.

I am then going to explain to them the exact consequences that could have happened, including law suits that might have ruined our family and the fact that Jeremy could have lost the right to get a license for a long time.

When the two of them realize how serious this actually was, I'm going to point out that their activity was illegal and remind them of the penalty for illegal activity in our home.

Part of me wants to let them off at least a bit easy. Part of me wants to use grounding instead of CP, because I think it'll make a more effective point. I'm going to explain that to them.

I think they're going to end up getting a full dose of the medium Lexan. In this case, Jake is going to go first, since Jeremy is more responsible. I'm going to remind both of them that they can only drive under 18 with my permission, and they've both put me in doubt of how advisable that is, but I also think I've made an impression, so I doubt this will happen again, so no grounding this time, but I am going to require them to help pay the auto club charge.

Stone Man

Put all the above posts in a jar, shake it up, dump it out and pick four of the worst (best) punishments and that's what the two boys will be getting.

If either or both are so dense as to think that their actions were not illegal as well as dangerous I may inflict the punishments on them again the next day. Twisted Evil

Shocked I did, as a twelve year old and my sister was 16, used to shift the gears for her and do some of the steering from the right seat.... Don't think I'll bee telling the boys about that for awhile. Razz


Stone Man wrote:

Shocked I did, as a twelve year old and my sister was 16, used to shift the gears for her and do some of the steering from the right seat.... Don't think I'll bee telling the boys about that for awhile. Razz

As a 13 year old, I drove my father's car, from the driver's seat, with him in the passenger seat in his parking lot (private property). As a 14 year old, I drove with him on the street in very quiet places. But that was with him, and never alone (or with a sibling or friend). I'm pretty sure it wouldn't happen today, though, because the "authorities" would consider it child neglect.

Either way, it's a totally different circumstance from the BOTD scenario. A 14 year old taking a car, driving alone, getting into an accident, and then lying about what had happened, aided and abetted by his older brother, who should have known better, is indefensible.

It may be older brother's "car" that he "paid for with his own money", but as a 16 year old, he is only allowed to drive with my permission, and legally cannot own, or have registered to him, the vehicle, no matter who paid for it.


Agree with AFinch. Safety violations and lying. I might also suspend driving privileges and maybe parental transport services for a while, not that it'll matter, since they won't sit comfortably in the driver's or passengers' seats for a while.

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