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BOTD 5/6/13 "The Case Of The Chopped Chopper" A John Boy Prod.

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David M. Katz

I am filling in for Jack tonight. Jack is fine - just dealing with his busy real life activities right now.


A John Boy Production

Your Twelve year old son, Garrett, has been working on his Lego helicopter model in his spare time for a week. He finished it yesterday and put it in his room for safe keeping.

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This afternoon you hear a loud ruckus coming from Garrett's room. You go to check it out and Garrett has his six year old brother, Danny, pinned down on the floor and is about to "smash" him. You see the Lego helicopter is now in the floor and shattered to pieces.

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Even though you are rather certain what happened, you ask the boys what is going on. Garrett says, "What do you care? You'll just take his side anyway."

Danny manages to say, "It was an accident. I was just looking at it and dropped it."

Before you can get to the boys to separate them, Garrett slugs his brother in the arm.

Who, if anyone, is in trouble? Garrett? Danny? Or both?

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

David M. Katz

I think Danny already had his but I am going to give him a couple of swats on the seat and send him out. We will talk later about respecting each other's space.

Now that it is just me and Garrett, I want to explore his comment about me not caring and always taking Danny's side. Depending on the outcome of that discussion there may or may not be a spanking in store for Garrett. If I do spank him it will not be anything severe. I just don't want the boys taking matters into their own hands but my relationship with my son is more important right now.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


I can understand Garrett's frustration. He obviously worked very hard building that helicopter.

I can also understand Danny's interest in it, and how easy it would be for a six year old to drop it.

Was Danny allowed to handle the helicopter, or did he just barge in and drop it--or worse, was it not really an accident?

If Garrett showed it to him, and handed it to him, and it was dropped accidentally, I'm going to just separate the boys. I'll overlook the arm punch--Garrett didn't really hurt his little brother.

If Danny just walked in, handled it without permission, and then broke it, he's getting spanked.

Either way, Garrett and I will just have a conversation--with words. He's old enough to use words, not fists, and as a big brother it behooves him to do so.

John Boy

Unless Garrett tells me different I will have to assume Danny was in Garrett's room without permission. Danny will be getting spanked for that along with playing with his brothers stuff without permission. Garrett however knows I will not tolerate hitting his brother only possible if it was self defense. So he is getting spanked as well.

P.S. Maybe later I will tell where this idea came from Wink


I definitely need to explore why Garrett thinks I'm being biased. Am I? If so, I will apologize to my eldest and promise to work diligently to be more fair. In reality, I probably am in the sense that it would appear to a kid who's brother is that much younger is always getting away with stuff.

Been there, done that in R/L on both sides; oldest kid/dad. Needs to stop! Despite that, Gar and I are going to talk about better ways to express his (justifiable in this instance) anger. No physical punishment for him.

As to the situation at hand, whether Garrett has already thumped him or not Danny is likely going to be getting a spanking for touching without permission. "I was only looking" won't wash here. If he were indeed 'only looking' Garrett's creation would not be broken and we wouldn't be in this situation. After the waterworks are done, Dan can apologize to Garrett and vice-versa. At the end of the day, they are brothers and need to work on getting along as brothers. Heaven knows, that can at times be difficult!!


The gap between me and my youngest brother was about the same as between these too and the youngest always gets away with it!
Seriously I want to know if little Danny was invited into Garretts room and permitted to hold the helicopter. If garret really hurt Dnny I might have to spank Garrett anyway but we will be talking about his feelings as well. If Danny did not have permission to be there he will be spanked for not respecting Garretts space and belongings. A six year old may not understand how much effort Garret put into that model and somehow I have to get him to understand why Garret was so angry. I'd like to say it would be hugs all round but it looks like I have two angry young men for now


On the presumption that Danny did take the helicopter uninvited and then drop it, he will get a spanking. If it was taken invited then the problem is Garrett's

How they get on normally may well affect my reaction to Garrett's 'slug'. We definitely need a conversation to establish why he considers Danny is 'always getting away with things'. I susupect the age difference is very much at work here and if so I'll try hard to explain my reasoning to him.


Editor Extraordinaire
While I intend to take Garrett's words into consideration, they won't stop me from acting as I see appropriately. To a boy of twelve, a parent may seem biased towards a younger child when he is only taking into consideration the younger child's age. A parent cannot have the same expectations and standard for culpability for six year olds that he has for twelve year olds.

The key issue here is not the broken helicopter, which does seem to have been an accident. (It's fortunately that a Lego helicopter should be fixable.) Rather, the issue is one of space and privacy. Danny must learn to respect his brother's territory. If I know Danny is aware of the limits, understands them and has violated them anyway, he is getting a spanking. If not, he is getting a warning. Garrett is getting a good smack to the backside for slugging his brother. He crossed the line between discipline and an angry reaction.

Garrett and I need to have a talk. I want to know if there are real problems in his relationship with his younger brother or the incident merely frustrated him. If he and Danny are typical brothers, Danny hero-worships Garrett and craves his attention. I'll do what I can to cultivate a strong fraternal bond and keep sibling rivalry at a minimum.


Stone Man

After separating the boys I will talk to Danny first and find out the circumstances of the accident because that is what I feel it was. If Danny was in his brother's room uninvited and accidentally dropped or hit the helicopter than we will retire to his room where I will spank him. I'm working from the assumption that Danny has been in Garret's room sometime before (uninvited) in his short life and knows the family rules against doing so. Therefore the accident would not have happened if he had not been somewhere he was not to be. It will be a standard hand spanking and no where near the worst he will ever get as he grows.

After Danny has settled, Garret and I will talk about his statement of unfairness along with this hitting his brother. Again assuming Danny was in the room uninvited, Garret will get a few hard swats to remind him that his actions were not appropriate for Danny's transgression.

Man what a lot of words to say basically the same thing everyone else has said. What a Face

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