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BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore"

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1 BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Mon Jun 17, 2013 5:08 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
BOYD'S BLOOMIN' CHORE
A DMK Production



Boyd is your thirteen year old son.  Spanking still works as an effective punishment for Boyd.  Boyd's chore is to keep the flower bed in front of the house free of weeds.  Other than keeping the pansies weed free Boyd has no other chore except keeping his personal space reasonably clean.  


BOYD - 13
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Boyd constantly complains about having to weed the flower beds.  You remind him that if he would just spend a few minutes with it each day that it wouldn't become so overwhelming.

The bed is looking shaggy and you insist that Boyd go take care of it  Boyd is whiny and mumbles something under his breath but goes on outside.  Boyd is not outside long and comes back in and says, "Flowers are taken care of and it won't be a problem anymore."  Boyd heads on over to a friend's house to play video games.  About a half hour later you step outside and notice the flower bed has indeed been weeded.  It is also bare.  Boyd has pulled up all of the flowers.

What happens next?


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2 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Mon Jun 17, 2013 5:22 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
Good Lord Matilda!!!

That boy's ass is grass and I'm the lawnmower! After which HE can replace all the flowers at his expense and expect a daily check, with consequences if things aren't done correctly, until the snow flies.

3 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Mon Jun 17, 2013 5:25 pm

Jack


Admin
Honestly, Boyd's going to get a serious spanking out of this - probably a very thorough session with the hairbrush.

HOWEVER, I think I was a real jerk in this.  I should have found out a long time ago why Boyd was so unhappy with this chore.  I sure would have been when I was a kid.  If (the parent) wanted a flower garden, then that's who should have handled the weeding.  Unless the flowers were Boyd's idea and he later abandoned it, then I should have found some other chore to do.

Having said that, what Boyd did was destructive, and there was no excuse for it.  He and I are going to be talking a lot, but I don't see any way he's not going to be getting a sore butt out of this stunt.


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4 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Mon Jun 17, 2013 6:05 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
I agree with Jack and Stoney.

This was deliberate destruction accompanied by both disobedience and disrespect.  No matter how much he hates the chore, and no matter why, this behavior is inexcusable.  We will talk about that, and then I will finish talking--with a hairbrush.

When we replant, we can first put down a layer of landscape cloth.  As lush as that photo was, I can't imagine all that many weeds being able to grow there anyway (I've pulled two from my (heavily planted) vegetable garden since April 10).  If there is some reason he truly hates yard work, other than that it cuts into his video time, we'll find a different chore.  Being asked to help out minimally doesn't seem so terrible to me.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/14/opinion/navarrette-fathers-day



Here's the relevant part:




One day, my friend said, he walked into his house and casually told his teenage son that he needed some help with some minor chore outside. The son, who had been playing video games, was clearly bothered. Exasperated, he said, "Dad, whenever you ask me to do stuff like this, it's just such an inconvenience."
Showing more restraint than I would have at that moment, my friend calmly apologized to his son for disturbing him. Then he picked up the phone, and fired his landscaper. Next, my friend sat down at the computer and ordered a gift for his son: a brand new lawnmower. This summer, the teenager -- who is now responsible for doing all the yard work at the family home -- is learning the true meaning of the word, "inconvenience."
It's a great story. But what I found most interesting was the crowd's reaction. It amounted to thunderous applause. It was as if they were ready to name my friend, "Father of the Year."

5 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:28 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
Thanks for the link, Kier, and the quick version.

I was largely responsible for weeding my mother's extensive (by my estimation) flower gardens. I had a choice of learning to like doing it or being miserable doing it but doing it none the less. In return my mother was able to be active in my school, church, Cub Scouting and taking care of all the big and little things I needed taken care of because she had the "free" time to do so.

I don't wish to imagine what Mom and Dad would have done to me if I had instead done the damage the boy in the story had done.

6 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:50 pm

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Lemme get this straight; he tore out the weeds and the flowers?!?


Son, you are SO dead!! I am strapping your buns the full dozen and if mom wants her revenge , I'm giving.

If you had 'an issue' you should have told me; we'd probably come to an agreement of some sort.  Now you've proven yourself to be a brat and I'm spanking for this; you have earned it fairly, I hope you learn from this!

7 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Mon Jun 17, 2013 10:05 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
When he comes home, he won't be sitting for a while. and he can stay in his room on full lockdown until the garden looks as good as new (replaced and blooming)

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8 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Mon Jun 17, 2013 11:27 pm

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I can't really blame Boyd. I detest that sort of chore myself. Unless you are a person who likes gardening, gardening sucks. It's also the sort of chore that is difficult to justify foisting off on a person who hates it, as flowerbeds are something easily dispensed with. 

Kids are not servants, let alone slaves. They are members of a family, and as such, I think it's reasonable to expect them to contribute to the family through reasonable chores; but those chores should be appropriate to the kid's age and ability, and also be something where the value of the work if evident. I know from teaching that the manner in which tasks are assigned can make all the difference: impose the task on the kid, making it clear that you are the adult and have all the power, and you get resentment; encourage a sense of community, responsibility and ownership, and you get kids who are eager to help. I wish parents would see the inconsistency of telling a kid that he owes the family his support, while never failing to point out when convenient that the adults own the house and pay the bills. I should have asked for Boyd's input as to the chores I assigned him. He may have been happy doing far more work had I made him feel he was a valuable, contributing member of the family.

I don't like the destructive manner in which Boyd showed his resentment, but it's hard to punish him for being a prick when the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

Kat

9 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:22 am

ivor


Marshall
It is always thought provoking to find Kat putting forward the opposite view and sounding the voice of restraint. Makes me stop and think.

He has a point, but for me what Boyd did is tantamount to vandalism. Had the chore he not liked been to put the dishes in the dishwasher would he have thrown them all in the bin to avoid the problem in future? Had it been to walk the dog - well, let's not go there but I did watch "As Good As It Gets" the other night.Smile

I'm afraid a spanking is coming your way Boyd.

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10 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:04 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Kat makes a very good point.  ............. but the event has occurred, so .................. from one prick to another

Evil or Very Mad  GET THOSE PANTS DOWN Evil or Very Mad



Last edited by MemoryMan on Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:56 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : more clarification)

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11 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Tue Jun 18, 2013 3:19 am

Jack


Admin
Stoney had an interesting comment, but to me, if Mom wants flower gardens, Mom should find the time to take care of HER flower gardens.  From the first time I read this, I wondered if Boyd didn't have trouble with doing the weeding because he was having to take care of flowers (which is seen as a very feminine thing around here).  While I understand Stoney's point about freeing his mom up to do other things, couldn't he have done some of those other things to free her up to weed?

While I don't think it removes responsibility from the boy for his act, I do think Kat is right that there would have been a lot of better ways to handle it, and the best way would just to have been willing to listen to him and change his chores.

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12 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:44 pm

Eldo


Cowboy
I do understand Boyd's attitude and choice of action here. So I'd like to discuss with him exactly how he feels. Maybe I'm overloading him with chores.

But I do think a spanking is due, because he certainly went overboard here. A very strong spanking, with heavy swings of the wooden hairbrush, given at a steady pace over a lingering amount of time around the ten-minute mark.

13 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Tue Jun 18, 2013 4:47 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
Jack wrote: While I understand Stoney's point about freeing his mom up to do other things, couldn't he have done some of those other things to free her up to weed?

That was kind of the point, what she did I couldn't do but I could weed and free up some of her time to do those things for me that I couldn't.... I AM talking about an eight year old here, in my case, anything could look like a mountain to one so small, so Mom and Dad stressed to me that doing a little at a time would get the job done, but I still had to put the time in on a regular basis or the mountain of work would reveal itself.

Boyd didn't heed his parents suggestion that he do a little each day and melted down to the point of earning a hiding the likes of which I'd hate to have faced.

14 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Thu Jun 20, 2013 10:23 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
I wonder if Boyd saw this as a bit of a ... Pansies chore! I realise now we probaly should have assigned Boyd something else if that was the problem.  Still his overreaction has assured him of a good hiding and a hairbrush seems appropriate.

15 Re: BOTD 6/18/13 "Boyd's Bloomin' Chore" on Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:43 pm

talebearer


Cowboy
Agree with Kat. The boy had grievances but he should have told you, not done this roto-tilling. Short-term, a painful accounting. Long-term, get him to tell you if he's got a problem, get him to articulate what he's feeling -- he's old enough -- but one penance needs to be to re-plant the bed. Maybe for someone else to tend.

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