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BOTD 07-13-2013 Skipping for Skip- A Leti Production

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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
SKIPPING FOR SKIP
A Leti Production

Your next door neighbors have gone out of town on vacation and you are dog sitting for them.  Your ten year old son, Clark, is very excited about having Skip visit for a few days.  Clark accidently leaves a door open and Skip escapes and runs away.  You and Clark search all afternoon but cannot find the dog.  Clark is devastated but you are certain Skip will show back up.

The next day, Skip has still not returned.  Clark heads on off to school.  His school is close and so Clark walks to school. You get a call from the school later in the morning telling you that Clark is absent.  You are confused and concerned because he should be at school.  You decide to go look for Clark and walk along the route that Clark takes to school.  You pass by a park and see:



CLARK - 10 (With Skip)
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Clark sees you and excitedly tells you that he found Skip.  He says, "I have been looking for him all morning and I found him!"

How do you deal with Clark skipping school?


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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
I'm hugging him and taking him for Ice Cream. What a good boy!


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AFinch


Sherrif
Ditto Skater. While I don't condone skipping school, in this case it was warranted, and as it turns out, worthwhile.

Happy ending and a reminder about doors--though I'm sure Clark has already learned that lesson better than any scolding or spanking ever could.

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Absolutely!!!

Thanks Doc for saving me a bunch o' typing!!!

David M. Katz


Marshall
I am going to add a little to Skater, Kier and Dimitri:

I should have never sent him to school in the first place.


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John Boy


Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote:I am going to add a little to Skater, Kier and Dimitri:

I should have never sent him to school in the first place.
Ditto

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ivor


Marshall
I'm going to cause a ripple of dissent and throw a stone in the pool.

I can't have my 10 year old son deciding when he is and isn't going to attend school. Hopefully they have  a punishment for unauthorised attendance and if so I will insist that they apply it. If they don't then he can expect a spanking from me.



Last edited by ivor on Sat Jul 13, 2013 6:39 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Perhps they shoud also have a punishment for bad speling :-))

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kalico


Sherrif
Ditto JB'S DITTO!!!!




Hugs kal

MemoryMan


Sherrif
ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto ditto .............

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squarecutter


Sherrif
Whats the name of that book?
Lots of love, and a spanking?

May be I should have kept him home but and may be I should have been out looking for Skip

I am very torn. I am going to ask .

Was he going straight to school when he found the dog or did he go looking for the dog?

what he should have done after he found the dog, like bring it straight home then go on to school?

Does he know how vulnerable young children looking for lost pets in local parks are to predatory men especially when no one knows where they are?

As much as truancy is wrong that is the one that bothers me the most.

Soft-hearted me says that when I have read him that part of parenting 101 I am going to take him into school where he can explain himself to the Principal

and accept what will probably be another lecture, but I won't stand in the schools' way if they decide to take it further. His reaction to all that will

determine whether there is more to come when he gets home.

Jack


Admin
The first thing I'm going do to is take Clark to school. That'll give me plenty of time to think about this.

I'm going to explain the situation to the principal. What Clark did is understandable, but not excusable. My only problem is that I'm just not sure if a 10-year old would really understand that.

I think I'm going to end up supporting the school in however they treat this. When Clark gets home, I'll explain to him that, while it was admirable to search for the job, it wasn't just his responsibility to get to school, but his legal obligation, and that he really lied to me in that he didn't let me know he would be searching for skip. I'll also let him know that, while I understand, he needs to understand that, if this ever happens again, I'll be teaching him to pick a switch.

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MemoryMan


Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote: I should have never sent him to school in the first place.

Whatever was I thinking of, sitting back with an "Oh! He'll come back attitude"  while sending my distraught panicky ten year old, consumed with guilt, son to school?  Even if he'd gone he wouldn't have been in learning mode.

There are times when it is absolutely right for the heart to overrule the head and this was one of them.  Clark has humbled me.

He gets the rest of the day off school to calm down with Skip.  Tomorrow I'll accompany him to school to ensure that there are no repercussions for him and explain that although Clark was not physically sick he was so stressed out that he was emotionally incapable of attending.

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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
While I really sympathize with Clark, he is ten years old. His absence from the school is not something the school is likely to take casually, nor should I. Missing kids that age can cause a lot of panic, as they are very vulnerable. I may not spank him, but he will have to face the music at school, if there is punishment there. And the two of us are having a long talk about why he must never do this again.

Kat

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Kat wrote:..... And the two of us are having a long talk about why he must never do this again. Kat

........... and I will be having a long monologue with myself about never again being blasé and leaving my guilt ridden distraught ten year old in an emotional tangle he is ill equipped to deal with.

Regardless of rules/laws or personal risks Clark was emotionally charged and he did what was right in his own mind however unwise (in adult terms) it was.

However I try to rationalise it in adult terms there is one inescapable fact.

THE BUCK STOPS HERE

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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
MemoryMan wrote:........... and I will be having a long monologue with myself about never again being blasé and leaving my guilt ridden distraught ten year old in an emotional tangle he is ill equipped to deal with.

Regardless of rules/laws or personal risks Clark was emotionally charged and he did what was right in his own mind however unwise (in adult terms) it was.

However I try to rationalise it in adult terms there is one inescapable fact.

THE BUCK STOPS HERE

I think you are projecting a lot into the scenario. I just don't see the parent here as blasé or unconcerned based on the fact that he sent the kid to school and tried to reassure the kid that the dog would probably come back on its own (which is what dogs typically do). As much as I love my pets, I would consider my child's safety a higher priority. I also think that an adult taking a child out of school every time he is upset in any minor way is irresponsible, as most states and cities have laws that limit how many days a child can miss without having a documented illness before it's considered truancy. Then there is the reality of the parent having to take off work to supervise the child. Most employers give a limited number of personal days, sick days and vacation days, which the employees have to use wisely, as they don't get paid for time off beyond those, and they may even lose their jobs.

Kat

Iconoclast


Trailboss
My son Clark did what was right and if that is not good enough for the school they will have no more chance to mis-educate him as he will not be returning to that school!!

Iconoclast

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Kat wrote:

I think you are projecting a lot into the scenario. I just don't see the parent here as blasé or unconcerned based on the fact that he sent the kid to school and tried to reassure the kid that the dog would probably come back on its own (which is what dogs typically do). As much as I love my pets, I would consider my child's safety a higher priority. I also think that an adult taking a child out of school every time he is upset in any minor way is irresponsible, as most states and cities have laws that limit how many days a child can miss without having a documented illness before it's considered truancy. Then there is the reality of the parent having to take off work to supervise the child. Most employers give a limited number of personal days, sick days and vacation days, which the employees have to use wisely, as they don't get paid for time off beyond those, and they may even lose their jobs.

Kat

..............he sent the kid to school and tried to reassure the kid that the dog would probably come back on its own ..............

How blasé is that?  .......... and irresponsible too, considering its a third party's dog that he's responsible for.  The dog has not gone from its home address and has been missing overnight and yet he's shrugged his shoulders and sent the panicky distressed kid off to school without any assurance that he'd resume the search himself.

Since dad wasn't going to help find Skip Clark was true to himself and did what HE thought was the right thing.  "KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON" is an adult, not a kid's slogan and whatever adult spin we try to put on it THE BUCK STILL STOPS HERE.

My original response still stands

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Jack


Admin
I hate to take sides, but I think Kat is right. This is not a case where the father was blase, since the scenario clearly states you (he) and Clark searched 'all afternoon' for the dog. I understand that Clark is upset, but I had a dog run away before, when I was that age and younger. The fact of the matter is that you might find the dog quickly, but you might never find the dog, since the dog is probably moving as you do.

There are things that could have been done differently, but I don't think that excuses the boy doing what he wanted to do, for whatever reason.

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John Boy


Sherrif
Jack wrote:The first thing I'm going do to is take Clark to school.  That'll give me plenty of time to think about this.

I'm going to explain the situation to the principal.  What Clark did is understandable, but not excusable.  My only problem is that I'm just not sure if a 10-year old would really understand that.

I think I'm going to end up supporting the school in however they treat this.  When Clark gets home, I'll explain to him that, while it was admirable to search for the job, it wasn't just his responsibility to get to school, but his legal obligation, and that he really lied to me in that he didn't let me know he would be searching for skip.  I'll also let him know that, while I understand, he needs to understand that, if this ever happens again, I'll be teaching him to pick a switch.
Ditto Jack as well

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MemoryMan


Sherrif
Jack wrote:I hate to take sides, but I think Kat is right.  This is not a case where the father was blase, since the scenario clearly states you (he) and Clark searched 'all afternoon' for the dog.  I understand that Clark is upset, but I had a dog run away before, when I was that age and younger.  The fact of the matter is that you might find the dog quickly, but you might never find the dog, since the dog is probably moving as you do.  

There are things that could have been done differently, but I don't think that excuses the boy doing what he wanted to do, for whatever reason.

So....... When the dog had been missing overnight Clark, in the absence of adult support took it upon himself to continue the search.

For me the dog is incidental in this.  The real issue is about understanding.

Understanding what might be going on in a child's mind.

Understanding that a child is a person and is capable of independent thought and action able to make decisions, immature decisions, but decisions nevertheless.

Understanding that Clark's sense of guilt, having been responsible for the dog's escape may have loomed so large that he became obsessed with the need to recover the dog, possibly it became the ONLY thing on his mind.

Understanding that lacking parental support he was likely to make a brave but wrong (from the adult p.o.v.) decision, but the right decision for him, to take the initiative and continue the search himself,  Also that as he got lucky he relieved you of the need to explain to your neighbour that you had searched for an afternoon and then gave up.

Understanding that the adult issues raised here can, and indeed should be discussed; but calmly and at an appropriate time.

Understanding that censure and/or punishment, either from yourself or the school smacks of Zero Tolerance and is doomed to be counter-productive because his initiative was successful and he has stumbled on an important life truth that slavishly following arbitrary rules is not always the best way forward.

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Jack


Admin
I started to answer this point by point, but I don't think it's worth it. I simply want to point out two things.

First, I think the boy knew what he was doing was wrong, else he would have told the father of his plans, instead of pretending to leave for school.

Second, if you think that doing what he said he was going to do is slavish, and if you think that school attendance is arbitrary, then you have your point. Since I disagree with you on those points, I think we're going to have to agree to disagree.

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Iconoclast


Trailboss
I wish to second this Memory Man:

"Understanding that censure and/or punishment, either from yourself or the school smacks of Zero Tolerance and is doomed to be counter-productive because his initiative was successful and he has stumbled on an important life truth that slavishly following arbitrary rules is not always the best way forward."


Iconoclast

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Jack wrote:I started to answer this point by point, but I don't think it's worth it.  I simply want to point out two things.

First, I think the boy knew what he was doing was wrong, else he would have told the father of his plans, instead of pretending to leave for school.  

Second, if you think that doing what he said he was going to do is slavish, and if you think that school attendance is arbitrary, then you have your point.  Since I disagree with you on those points, I think we're going to have to agree to disagree.  


It appears we do need to agree to agree to disagree.

I just cannot find it in my heart to major in and condemn Clark for failing to make it all the way to school.  I can emphasise with the poor kid's torment as he walks to school checking round every corner on the way, peering down every drive he crosses until he comes to the park ..... then just a quick look perhaps, but doesn't time fly?

Very few of us can say we've never let our heart overrule our head?  Over here even convicted criminals get the chance to plead extenuating circumstances before sentence is passed.

I am though disappointed not to get any feedback at all on understanding and tolerance. I think its worth it.

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Stone Man


Marshall
The simple version is Skater's post. Many others have added or subtracted from it. It doesn't say, but I don't believe that Clark set out to look for Skip. I think of it as a more spur of the moment/gut reaction to thinking about Skip on his way to school.

We WILL talk about the school's and my concern for him when he was reported as missing. We WILL talk about a better way to have gone about this day. But when it comes right down to it, I most likely would have been out looking for Skip if I hadn't been out looking for Clark (I have myself as my boss and can set my own work schedule).

The school is another matter, and I will let Clark know that he will have to take whatever they dish-out for skipping... but there will be no formal spanking from me for what he did.

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