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BOTD 8/14/13 "A Burger For Barney" DMK Production

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David M. Katz

A DMK Production

Barney is your twelve year old son.  Barney is still subject to spanking if needed.  One of your rules for Barney is that he is to be home by dinner time each evening. As you live in a safe area and know all of Barney's friends and their parents Barney pretty much has freedom to roam the neighborhood as long as he is home for dinner.  Barney does not yet have a cell phone.

Tonight Barney was not home for dinner.  You waited about a half hour but he still did not show.  You were a little concerned and decided to check with his friends.  He was not at the first friends' house you called but he was at the second.  The parent there explained that Barney had been visiting and they were cooking out burgers and invited Barney to stay. You are told he is there and is eating.  You are relieved to know he is safe and ask if they will send him home as soon as he finishes eating.

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When Barney arrives home, you remind him of the rule.  He says he assumed that his friend's parents called you. You ask if they said they would call and he said no that they just invited him to stay for a burger and he thought they would let you know.

Is Barney in trouble?

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


No, he's not in trouble.  In kid think, it's entirely reasonable to think that if some trusted grown-up invited you to stay for dinner, it's ok, and they've already asked your parents.

I'm going to tell Barney clearly that, while I'm thrilled he has friends whose parents think well enough of him to invite him as a dinner guest, when this happens again, he needs to call me himself, or at least make sure the parents did.

Last edited by AFinch on Sun Aug 18, 2013 2:26 pm; edited 1 time in total


Very Happy  What Kier say's!!!!

hugs kal

John Boy

I'm going to let it slide with a few stingeroos and a next time make sure we know.


Barney's buns are safe - this time!


This really depends on two things... Maybe three.

First, is Barney known for falsehoods?

Second, is it common for him to stay over for meals or sleepovers, and if so, does he usually okay them with me, or do the friends parents okay them?

Finally, does he violate this rule a lot, or has he been in much trouble of any kind recently?

Unless it seems like there's a real problem, I'm probably going to give him a pass on this occasion, and make it clear that he's responsible for letting me know. I might just bare his bottom and get him over my lap before announcing this, to make it clear exactly why he wants to take responsibility, rather than relying on someone else who doesn't have the same things at risk.

Oh wait - four things! I don't suspect this is an espionage effort by Barney to get me to buy him a cell phone, do I?


Kier's nailed it.


This is 12 year old/early teen logic. May be he does need a cell phone soon. For now though we need to clarify that he does need to ask for permission to stay longer at a friends even if there is no warning in advance. This means telling his hosts that this is the case before accepting an invitation. As parents they will quite understand. In most cases parents would ask if he needed to check first. At 12 this is about safety and curtesy. Later the safety issue will not be so much of a worry. If this has not all been made clear before Barney escapes a whacking. Otherwise Barney is toast.


Jack's covered this one for me!! Especially the question of "is this time for a phone of his own". Suspect 


12 years old and no cellphone yet? You are abusing that poor child!!!

Or so one could think nowadays. I saw a 4 or 5 year old with his own Ipad a couple of days ago in Glasgow, at least it looked like it was his by to the comic cover.

But back to topic. I think when - in a trustworthy neighbourhood - one parent says it is ok for a boy to stay he has the right to believe it is ok and cleared with his parents. When it turns out it wasn't it's the fault of the other parents, not the boy's.

Stone Man

What Kier wrote.


Editor Extraordinaire
Ditto Kier again. Besides, I owe this kid a few free passes for naming him Barney.



Jack wrote:

Oh wait - four things!  I don't suspect this is an espionage effort by Barney to get me to buy him a cell phone, do I?
If it is, it worked! I will get Barney a cheep cell Phone which has cheep unlimited calling!


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