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BOTD 08-23-13 When Push Comes to Shove - A Memory Man Production - For the Bransom Ladies

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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
When Push Comes To Shove:
One For The Bransom Ladies

A Memory Man Production

You were widowed six years ago when your son Declan was two and since then you have brought him up on your own. Its been something of a struggle without a man's influence, particularly as Declan is strong willed and you don't believe in spanking. You have frequent arguments and are finding it increasingly difficult to get him to mind you and do as you say. In fact he is becoming so much of a brat you are finding it hard to arrange sitters when you want to go out.


Declan - 8
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Over the past six months you have been dating David who is in a similar situation to you, a single parent bringing up two sons whose ages straddle Declan's by about a year on each side.

David is kind and generous and his boys are (mostly) well behaved and polite and accept you being around; the younger one even cuddles into you at times as though you were the mother he misses so much. You are aware that David spanks them from time to time and although you disapprove you have noticed, and are rather envious of, the easygoing relationship he has with them.

You are very fond of (dare you say in love with?) David and you hope your relationship will develop much further, but lately the frequency of your dates has fallen off with most of the invitations coming from you. You are aware that David doesn't think much of Declan and has commented a few times that he needs the influence of a man's hand, once going so far as to say he needed it across his bare bottom. You bridled up and absolutely refused to countenance this.

Tonight David is taking you out to dinner but while awaiting the arrival of your sitter you get into yet another argument with Declan and when David remonstrates with him Declan responds with a torrent of abuse.

You are deeply embarrassed and as you see David draw back and his lips tighten you fear he may be about to walk out.

Is this your watershed moment? Will you sanction Declan's little bare bottom feeling the impact of a man's hand for the very first time?


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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
Easy YES Smile


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John Boy


Sherrif
Skater wrote:Easy YES Smile
Ditto

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AFinch


Sherrif
It depends.

If I'm serious about a relationship with David, and if Demon, erm Declan, normally has a decent relationship with him, then this is the watershed moment.

I'm going to admit to David that Declan is out of control, and I'm unable to rein him in. I need help. "Tocca a te" as they say in Italian.

I've been seeing David long enough, and spent enough time around HIS boys that I know he isn't going to be abusive towards my little darling, otherwise I wouldn't be hoping that the relationship will develop "much farther".

I'm going to leave it in his capable hands, letting him know that I trust him implicitly and hope he will do a good enough job so as not to require a repeat performance any time soon.

Kittykat


Deputy
This is MY son? I don't believe in spanking? Okay.... LOL

Well, if I really don't believe in it I'm not going to change my beliefs for ANY man. However, real life me, would tell David to blister his little bare bottom with his hand.

kalico


Sherrif
Very Happy  Ditto Miss Kitty

If this was real life me then I would have busted his booty myself and even now I should do it myself but if Im going to have a relationship with david and as it was david who my child upset then he can have at it and maybe I will learn something......



hugs kal

Stone Man


Marshall
Kittykat wrote: However, real life me, would tell David to blister his little bare bottom with his hand.
I'm in agreement with real life you. Laughing 

I also like the points and concerns that Kier wrote about. The only addition I would make, is I would be present for Declan's spanking to add credence to Davids administration.

ivor


Marshall
I'm with the consensus.

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squarecutter


Sherrif
Easy to say when when I'm not the lady but...

I think unusually in this case rather than have Declan possibly see David as the nasty man who will tan his behind, I his mother should do it. I will also be a case of noises off. I will take Declan where we can be heard and not seen, pull his trousers down, sit on an upright chair and put Declan over my knee. I expect he will be wailing long before that part of the process is completed . I will then give My little brat his age in smacks. I want the shock value to work on him more than the pain but I hope David will be impressed as well as Declan. If this to be a sea change I want Declan used to the idea before I let David do it or there will be no understanding between them ever. I still hate the idea but I feel Declan has forced my hand so to speak

Jack


Admin
Okay, this isn't fair, since I've always been a spanker.

HOWEVER...

I think I need to have three very important conversations.

First, am I serious about David? Unless we are serious, I'm not especially happy about him 'remonstrating' with my son. If I'm okay with that, I have to ask if it was appropriate, and why I wasn't doing it.

The second conversation is with myself. Why don't I believe in spanking? Do I honestly believe it's wrong and barbaric, or do I just not like doing it myself? If I want to marry this man, do I honestly believe we can live in a house with three boys who are treated (and behave) so vastly different? Will he even want to live with me the way Declan acts? Am I willing to accept him being Declan's disciplinarian?

Finally, I should have a long talk to David about the subject of discipline. Is it really spanking that causes the difference? I already noticed that he was getting on Declan for something, rather than me doing it. Is the real problem that I don't set and maintain limits in some (non corporeal) fashion? Would he be interested in trying to tame Declan if he is interested in marriage? Is he willing to try some non-spanking method of doing that?

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Pi Beta


Deputy
I second Squarecutter's response.

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
The truth is that spanking is not a panacea. The method of discipline makes little difference. What matters is the consistency. I expect that I have been inconsistent with Declan, probably giving in to appease him when he acts out, which reinforces the bad behavior. Changing that behavior is not going to be easy. A spanking will probably achieve more immediate compliance, but is it the proper thing in the long run? Will Declan resent David and me both for springing this on him without warning? Real life isn't a spanking story, where everything comes right just because of a spanking.

I have concerns that David has forged no bond with Declan, and in fact, seems to dislike him. His relationship with his own boys has diddly squat to do with a relationship with Declan. His boys accept  his discipline because the relationship is there. I also have concerns that he seems to see spanking as quick and easy fix, which misses the underlying issue of inconsistent discipline. If I (or we) are to change Declan's behavior, it is going to be a difficult task that requires patience and determination. I probably need to seek outside help that can teach me (or us) how to discipline effectively in conformity with my values.

If David is the wonderful man I believe him to be, he will take this journey with me. But with or without David, I owe it to Declan to parent him better than I have been.

Kat

David M. Katz


Marshall
Kat wrote:The truth is that spanking is not a panacea. The method of discipline makes little difference. What matters is the consistency. I expect that I have been inconsistent with Declan, probably giving in to appease him when he acts out, which reinforces the bad behavior. Changing that behavior is not going to be easy. A spanking will probably achieve more immediate compliance, but is it the proper thing in the long run? Will Declan resent David and me both for springing this on him without warning? Real life isn't a spanking story, where everything comes right just because of a spanking.

I have concerns that David has forged no bond with Declan, and in fact, seems to dislike him. His relationship with his own boys has diddly squat to do with a relationship with Declan. His boys accept  his discipline because the relationship is there. I also have concerns that he seems to see spanking as quick and easy fix, which misses the underlying issue of inconsistent discipline. If I (or we) are to change Declan's behavior, it is going to be a difficult task that requires patience and determination. I probably need to seek outside help that can teach me (or us) how to discipline effectively in conformity with my values.

If David is the wonderful man I believe him to be, he will take this journey with me. But with or without David, I owe it to Declan to parent him better than I have been.

Kat
See, I was just sitting here and getting ready to make a response and then this brilliant little gem popped up. So, hey, why waste time thinking when I can just steal Kat's answer and move on?

DITTO cat 


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squarecutter


Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote:
Kat wrote:The truth is that spanking is not a panacea. The method of discipline makes little difference. What matters is the consistency. I expect that I have been inconsistent with Declan, probably giving in to appease him when he acts out, which reinforces the bad behavior. Changing that behavior is not going to be easy. A spanking will probably achieve more immediate compliance, but is it the proper thing in the long run? Will Declan resent David and me both for springing this on him without warning? Real life isn't a spanking story, where everything comes right just because of a spanking.

I have concerns that David has forged no bond with Declan, and in fact, seems to dislike him. His relationship with his own boys has diddly squat to do with a relationship with Declan. His boys accept  his discipline because the relationship is there. I also have concerns that he seems to see spanking as quick and easy fix, which misses the underlying issue of inconsistent discipline. If I (or we) are to change Declan's behavior, it is going to be a difficult task that requires patience and determination. I probably need to seek outside help that can teach me (or us) how to discipline effectively in conformity with my values.

If David is the wonderful man I believe him to be, he will take this journey with me. But with or without David, I owe it to Declan to parent him better than I have been.

Kat
See, I was just sitting here and getting ready to make a response and then this brilliant little gem popped up.  So, hey, why waste time thinking when I can just steal Kat's answer and move on?

DITTO  cat 


This is an aspect I hadn't thought of. I do need to be sure of where this relationship is headed. As Davids boys did seem to be accepting me as "Mum" I thought it might already be well advanced. I am not blind as not to see I have to improve in my parenting of Declan anyway but I do want him to forge a good relationship with David rather than an adversarial one and that Means Declan knowing his punishment and my possible change of view comes from my disappointment at, and not Davids distaste for his antics

MemoryMan


Sherrif
It IS my watershed moment.  I'm in danger of losing the man I think I would like to spend the rest of my life with.

Seeing David recoil brought home to me that not only do I not believe in spanking but I don't apply any other real form of discipline to Declan either and have become an inadequate parent.  David has hinted at this in the past, once quite forcefully.

David appears unprepared to tolerate the hassle of having his delightful boys under the same roof as a potential stepbrother who gets away with murder and I can see my chances of an enduring happy relationship drifting away.

DEEP BREATH

"David you were so right about Declan needing a man's hand.  Please give him the one he deserves right NOW."

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