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BOTD 8/29/13 "Just A Misunderstanding?" A DMK Production

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David M. Katz

A DMK Production

Dewey is your son and he just turned fourteen.  He is having a sleepover with his good friends: Mike and Matt are twins and are thirteen and Brad is fourteen.  The boys have been friends since they were toddlers and all of the parents are friends as well. Dewey is still subject to spanking.  You also have spanking permission for the twins and for Brad and have used it plenty of times in the past.  Dewey has also been spanked by Mike and Matt's and Brad's dads.

The boys plan on staying up as late as they can and playing video games and snacking.  You and your spouse bid the boys good night and head off to bed.

Dewey - 14 (In Blue) Then clockwise:  Mike & Matt - 13 and Brad - 14
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You get up this morning and all four boys are asleep on the den floor.  The den is a wreck but you sort of expected to find it that way.  You will have the boys clean up and put the furniture back when they wake up.  Among the soda cans and empty chip bags and candy wrappers you notice there are four empty beer cans.  You check the refrigerator and your twelve pack of beer is four cans lighter.  The way the cans are just sitting with the other trash leads you to believe the boys were not trying to hide the fact that they drank beer.

You do allow Dewy to drink a beer in your presence and with your permission and in moderation.  You feel this takes the mystery out of it.  Dewey has never abused this privilege and only rarely asks you to let him try a beer. On principle you have never allowed the other boys to drink in your house.  Dewey also does not drink when his friends are over.  You know that the twins' parents allow an occasional supervised drink just like you do.  You also know Brad's parents are opposed to any form of under age alcohol use.

When the boys wake up will there be four sore bottoms or is this all just a misunderstanding of the rules?

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


I think they're pushing the envelope, but since I allow an occasional (supervised) beer, and since I know Mike and Matt's parents do the same, they get a pass, spanking-wise.

I'm going to clarify the rule. Unless I have given permission IN ADVANCE, there will be no drinking of any alcoholic beverage. This is a legal issue in today's world as well as a parenting one. Even though I was unaware this was happening, I could be charged with "contributing to the delinquency of a minor".

Stone Man

Definitely time for a rules clarification. Dewey should have known better, but with no attempt at a cover-up I think the boys were simply not thinking. I will be letting Mike's & Matt's parents know what happened and will work with Brad on informing his Mom and Dad of what happened last night.

I don't think I could exercise enough self control to not administer each boy a swat or two... or fourteen, but I shall try.

I wonder who had the idea first???

Last edited by Stone Man on Thu Aug 29, 2013 3:15 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Lack of proof reading)

David M. Katz

It seems like a big misunderstanding with the boys taking a license they were not entitled to.

When the boys wake I will have a discussion to see what happened and then the rules will be clarified.

I do think I need to call the other parents. I think Matt and Mike are going to be OK. I will go to bat for Brad but ultimately he is going to have to face his parents over this.

No spanking this time but if it ever happens again without express permission then butts are gonna be bare. Twisted Evil 

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


scratch  Im totally torn on this one.......

I myself growing up was given alcohol the same way the BOTD describes and even my best friend......we even snuck it but we got away with it because it was one of those ...SHHHHH don't tell your dad and or don't tell your mom/nana. I have let my kids when in high school try stuff and have given to their friends BUT ONLY ever after asking and getting permission along with taking ALL drivers keys away and locking them in my safe.

I agree with Katz and Stone man that I feel I need to inform the other parents. I will clearly let them all know that if this EVER happens again with out my knowledge or their parents approval then they will be paddled good. I also think that I need to make sure I keep my alcohol in a more secure place.

hugs kal


This is blatant underage drinking without permission, and I'm not inclined to be lenient. They'll each get a thorough spanking with the brush on their bare behinds. But first, I'm calling the other boys' parents to confer with them, if they wish to deal with their own sons, I'll send them home and mine will be spanked.

John Boy

I think I may give them a soft (Crash) Wake up and talk with them. They will clean up the mess and I have a feeling cow hide will meet boy hide.


Editor Extraordinaire
In Texas I'm within my legal rights to allow Dewey to drink in my presence. The drinking of the other boys, however, could land me in jail -- especially the boy whose parents disapprove of drinking. Though I disagree with their attitude, I must respect their right to decide how to raise their son.

I've assumed that each of the boys accounted for one beer apiece, but I want to confirm that before I start calling parents. I guess that I will have to keep the beer in a locked refrigerator and the liquor under lock and key, as I'd be foolish to risk charges of supplying alcohol to minors. The other boys' parents can deal with them. Dewey is toast. There is no way this was a misunderstanding because there is no way I wouldn't have explained the ground rules of occasional drinking to Dewey; and those ground rules include: Never supply alcohol to your friends.



Since we here on the old continent have a far more relaxed attitude towards alcohol than you guys do, no police or child service would even bother to look at the matter of one beer each. If that's for the better I don't know.

But anyway, they took the beer without permission. But before I jump to action I will listen to them. I should also consider that by punishing them to harshly it would just drive them into attempts of hiding the evedince. So a clarification of rules might be appropriate. Therefore what happened in my house, stays in my house (this time).


I was glad to see Padraig's post before mine as having read through the other responses I had started to become convinced that I must have been suddenly transported to another planet!

As he says, there is obviously a considerable difference between old world and new in attitude both parental and authority over an incident like this.

Assuming each boy participated and had one beer each, I'll do nothing more than tell them I don't want to catch them drinking again. I'm not going to turn this into crime of the century and I certainly won't inform the other parents.


The operative words are asked, and supervised. Like Katz I will be consulting the other parents on this. Here as said this would be a matter entirely for families unless I was actively plying teen boys with drink. I don't think there is a misunderstanding so Dewey is getting paddled. If the other parents wish I can deal with their boys or the same way or send their boys on home at the arranged time, for their folks to deal with it as they see fit. I will assure them that the boys are just fine and only had the one can each (assuming that is the case) which they made no attempt to hide. I'm not that angry but as the parent in charge am responsible for them and the rules seem quite clear enough to me.


Kat wrote:In Texas I'm within my legal rights to allow Dewey to drink in my presence. The drinking of the other boys, however, could land me in jail
Phew! -Jail for keeping beer in an unlocked fridge?? .....Whatever has happened to "The Land of the Free"?

Actually I'm both pleased and annoyed about this one.  Annoyed that they took the beer without asking, and pleased (assuming that) they had the self discipline to restrict themselves to one apiece.

We will talk about this and the law that specifies they need both my, and their own parents permission before consuming alcohol.  I will point out to them that the very continuation of their sleepovers depends on their showing responsible behaviour while they are unsupervised.

I will then inform them that since Dewey knew of my permission rule he is about to get four licks for breaking it - but they can share them out if they wish. (Twisted Evil)

Its not a big deal for me and I see no need to involve their parents.


Actually, I don't think there's much risk of jail time, since this is clearly a case of a child 'stealing' something, rather than acting with parental license. On the other hand, if the tea totaling parents felt like it, they probably could get the police involved and make a big disruption. Of course, my feelings might be influenced by the fact that my area has a competent DA who doesn't want to blow every little thing up for more attention in the news.

I'm honestly kind of torn with this, since I can see exactly how it happened. "I can't believe your parents won't let you, but mine does, so let's all have one."

Since I've been disciplining all these boys since they were little, my decision will rest on one thing - if I (or one of the other parents) discipline the kids, do we report it all around, or just call it done? If it's the second, then I'll clarify the rules with the boys, let them no that no further violations of any kind will be accepted without switches being picked, and that if rules are different from one house to another, they need to either respect their own parents rules or seek clarification.

With all that out of the way, each boy will be getting something to make sure they remember this, but not incredibly harsh - maybe their age with the small Lexan.

If all parents are informed of discipline matters, whether another parents has already handled it or not, then I think it's best to turn it over to each parent, and my boy will be getting a standard paddling for violating the rules.

Pi Beta

My take on this is that Dewey, once I'd gone to bed, was the host and responsible for what went on thereafter.

He is in serious trouble for taking - or allowing to be taken - the beer and its consumption. Though the three others would have known that they were probably breaking the house rules - and in one case the parents' rules, I see their fault as being minor and will take no action against any of them. Dewey is going to get his backside seriously leathered. I might also make him pay for the beer.

Will I tell the other parents? No. I will take the view that the boy who is totally banned from drinking by his parents did what any polite guest will do - sampled whatever was on offer. For all I know, he may well have taken just one sip and hated it then shared it out between the others - and I'm not going to ask that question!

David M. Katz

I think a couple of comments to the peanut gallery are in order.

First, thanks to Jack for finding the inspirational photo.

Next, thanks to all of you. This BOTD has received several comments and I thank everyone for participating. Also the comments cover a wide base of ideas. I feel this BOTD was very successful and I thank you all for that.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


Unfortunately, I don't think it was just a simple misunderstanding.  
The boys waited until I went to bed before breaking into my beer.
Dewy could have asked me about drinking my beer before I went to bed but he didn't and this ups the ante, in my opinion.  And call me old fashioned and straight laced but, no, I don't think 13 and 14 year old boys need to be drinking, not just yet.  Alcohol will enter their lives soon need to rush them through their childhood.

Speaking of which, these children need to be disciplined for their poor behaviour.  Stealing my beer is a spanking offence, I'm afraid.  Bare bottom hand spankings will be sufficient and I'm thinking that the armless chair Matt is fiddling with will be perfect  for me to sit on while I deal with them.

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