As an active parent, I have to admit I'm not always great about knocking and waiting. Sometimes it's a situation where the boys are supposed to already be in bed, and there's a light on. You don't want to risk waking them, in case they fell asleep with the light on, so you just enter.
In this occasion, when you know the boy is already breaking a rule, you might not want to knock and wait. Part of parenting is catching your kids doing things they shouldn't be doing, so you can correct them and help them understand the reason for the rules. Of course, it can also lead to situations like this.
Those of you who follow the Spankorama might have guessed that this is why Ezra was our first entrant this month. I had planned on making it a BOTD extra, but I wasn't sure how to go about it, so I contacted David. This is most of the e-mail I sent him (slightly edited).Ezra Jentzen, who is our new neighbor across the street and down a couple of houses, got spanked yesterday. He's their youngest boy, 11-years old (just after 4 July), and in the same class as Van and Jared.
Officially he got spanked because the three of them were in his house when no one else was home, and he's not supposed to have company over without an adult home.
The thing is, his mom literally caught the three of them with their pants (and undies) down. Like Van, Ezra is uncircumcised. Jared is clipped. While they've changed in the back yard together, that's not really a good chance to check out the differences. They suit out for gym, but don't shower, so they never take their underpants off. Apparently the subject came up yesterday, and they decided to check each other out.
The boys told me most of this. Jared was pretty nervous about his mom finding out (apparently thinking it might get him spanked). He apparently talked to Ashley (his 13-year old bro), who came and talked to me. I assured him (them) that their mom had never said anything about it to me, that I don't see anything wrong with it, so I wasn't going to lie to her, but I saw no reason to mention it.
The thing is, Van and Jared were sent home, but while they were getting dressed, Ezra was told to leave his clothes down, because he was going to get spanked for having company with no adult home. That really doesn't sound like how their Dad told me discipline is normally handled. Also, Van and Jared seemed kind of upset, and part of that might be nervousness and embarrassment, but I also think she was a bit... upset, over finding them in that position. Also, both boys obviously were scared of getting spanked, but also guilty that Ezra got spanked, and they didn't. Both of them assured me they didn't know Ezra wasn't supposed to have company, so I don't see that they did anything wrong.
I don't want to seem genderist (wouldn't 'sexist' imply you discriminate on people's sexual interest, not their gender?) or misogynistic , but women seem to be more bothered by this than men do. I guess it might be because women don't have that one little thing men do, and if two women are interested in comparing sizes, they don't really even have to take their shirts off. Also, we've talked before about how a certain type of mom tends to get hysterical in some situations (when Dad's have that reaction, it tends to be anger, which is similar, but Mom's screech more - maybe because of their higher voices).
Anyway, I have talked to Tony Jentzen since then. Ezra did get spanked, and Tony admits that he really shouldn't have been, by their standard discipline method. While Ezra was officially spanked for having company without supervision, Tony is pretty sure that his 'open minded, free spirited' wife was mostly over reacting to catching the boys like that.
As for Van and Jared, I explained to them that they can't be held responsible for rules they don't know about. Now that they do know, they can help Ezra avoid future trouble by following that rule.
I also talked to Van alone, later. Since he has his own room, I asked why he couldn't have just stayed here. It turns out that all the boys are somewhat less than complete in respecting each others privacy. Van didn't seem to complain about it, but he does keep it in mind. I pointed out to him that, in the future, if he needs privacy and quiet for... oh, a long board game or something, he can ask to use one of the guest rooms or our upstairs gaming room.
I think he's a little young to have really taken the hint, but he'll probably remember it later. In the meantime, I'll probably suggest the boys work a little harder at knocking.