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BOTD 7 Oct 2013: Confession is Good for the Soul, but What About the Butt?

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Jack


Admin
Your son, Ken, just turned 14 years old. He's an eighth grader, a good student, and a basically good kid. You've spanked pretty much his entire life, you've had good results from it, and neither one of you has really talked about not using it when it's needed.

Ken is also a huge fan of collectible card games.


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Today was a big YuGiOh! tournament at the local comics and gaming store. When you picked him up, he was incredibly thrilled, because he won first place, which includes a box of cards and a small trophy. He's been playing at the tournaments this store hosts for years, and this is only the second time he's won (the first time was a small tournament for younger players, so this is the first time he won a full tournament).

By the time you get home, he's less excited. You've played these games with him some. They're not quite your cup of tea, but you enjoy the time with him. You're expecting him to share all the details, and maybe to open the box with you. Instead, he says he's tired and feels a bit bad, and he goes to his room.

Maybe an hour later, he comes back out. He asks to speak to you, so you turn off the TV and give him your attention.

He really did do pretty good today, but he only won because he cheated. Now he feels really miserable and really guilty.

What can you do to help him deal with it?

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David M. Katz


Marshall
He will need to go back to the store and speak to the person in charge and confess and return the prize and the trophy as soon as it is practical to do so. If they decide on a sanction such as a suspension or ban he will have to accept that.

I think that should be consequence enough.

I think he has already punished himself enough over this.


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
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1strappedboy


Sherrif
I think he'll feel much better about himself after he has confessed his deed to the folks running the contest and paid for it in the traditional way for our family.  They can sanction him as they see fit, though I don't see what returning the trophy will help as there is no one to give it to now and (was it personalized?).  The cards shall go back.  These can be reused at another tournament.

Once we take care of the externals, it is back to the den and talk about why he did this.  I want him come to the self awareness that a tainted win isn't worth having in the short or long run.  While it sounds like he has come to this enlightenment already, I intend to 'firm up' the lesson just a bit.  I will spank him as the family punishment for any misdeed.  I think that a thorough hand spanking will do the requisite job in this instance.  It will clear the slate for him and he can go on with life secure in the knowledge that he's paid for his poor behavior and has been completely forgiven.

AFinch


Sherrif
I am in agreement with Katz.

Unless he somehow conveys to me that he thinks he needs a spanking over this matter, I think his conscience has already punished him enough. Between that, returning the prize, and explaining to the tournament directors why he's doing so, I can't see that a spanking on top of all that is going to add to the lesson.

Stone Man


Marshall
The return of the winnings and embarrassment of admitting his deceit and any sanctions that go with it are enough punishment for Ken... plus the long discussion we will have (only using our words).

If Ken needs more than than I'll do whatever I can to help him.

ivor


Marshall
I align myself with the majority of the pack

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Jack


Admin
I tend to agree with everyone. Dmitri is a bit more adamant about it than the others, but I think Ken is expecting a spanking, and I think he'll feel better when it's done.

As a store owner who's had situations like this (where I've caught the kid - not where someone has come back and confessed), I'd take the cards back, thank Ken for his honesty, and tease him about it in the future, along with a few jokes about spanking him myself. No other sanctions from me.

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squarecutter


Sherrif
I think Jack and Dimitri have this for me. Confession and (mild) castigation are good for the soul

Stone Man


Marshall
I had a rethink last night while nodding off to sleep with visions of Kenny in my head.

My first thought was "why should I change how I deal with him" when it comes to punishment. He admits to cheating and that would get him a spanking at some level. There is no reason for him to need to ask for it.

Then a 180 turn in thought. Did Ken really cheat? Did he look at another players cards that were being shielded? Did he deal from under the deck? Etc, etc... as I don't know the game to be able to say what other ways he could have cheated.

Or was there a single inadvertent glimpse of a card or cards that directed him into a different strategy? Is Kenny now second guessing his good luck and good playing after the thrill of the win is subsiding and evening insecurities begin sneaking in?

Before I go further with him, Kenneth and I need to talk, just talk it all out and see which or what side of things our discussion leads us to come down on. This morning I don't think Ken cheated at all.

Kenny still gets a spanking for raising my blood pressure. Razz Cute and fourteen will get 'em every time. cyclops 

John Boy


Sherrif
Ditto to all.

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Jack


Admin
Stone Man wrote:Or was there a single inadvertent glimpse of a card or cards that directed him into a different strategy? Is Kenny now second guessing his good luck and good playing after the thrill of the win is subsiding and evening insecurities begin sneaking in?
When I wrote this, I decided not to go into details of what the cheating involved, because I thought most wouldn't be familiar enough with the rules to realize how serious it was. My basic idea was that Ken had drawn extra cards when the other player was distracted. For the record, yes, that can be a huge advantage in the game, and it really can make the difference.

And while I'm at it - no, this isn't based on a real life scenario. I just happened to come across this picture that I'd saved at some point, and the idea popped into my head.

http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

Stone Man


Marshall
Jack wrote:
Stone Man wrote:Or was there a single inadvertent glimpse of a card or cards that directed him into a different strategy? Is Kenny now second guessing his good luck and good playing after the thrill of the win is subsiding and evening insecurities begin sneaking in?
When I wrote this, I decided not to go into details of what the cheating involved, because I thought most wouldn't be familiar enough with the rules to realize how serious it was.  My basic idea was that Ken had drawn extra cards when the other player was distracted.  For the record, yes, that can be a huge advantage in the game, and it really can make the difference.

And while I'm at it - no, this isn't based on a real life scenario.  I just happened to come across this picture that I'd saved at some point, and the idea popped into my head.
In that case I'm gonna spank him good! Razz 

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