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BOTD 11/7/2013 "I Want My TV Show" A DMK Production

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David M. Katz


Marshall
I WANT MY TV SHOW
A DMK Production

Your thirteen year old son, Deacon, is still subject to spanking but you also use other punishments such as restrictions and privilege loss.

Deacon loves to watch TV. Recently you caught him sneaking out of bed after midnight to watch TV which was causing him to have issues waking up in the mornings. You told Deacon as his punishment that he could not watch TV for a week.

Deacon has a show that he watches everyday after school without fail and he was very distraught at the idea of missing it but you stood firm in your decision despite Deacon's request to "please just give him a spanking instead."

Deacon conspired with his best friend and told you he had to go to the friend's house every day after school to work on a class project with him. That was partially true - the boys were working on a project but only after Deacon took time to skirt his restriction and watch his show.

DEACON - 13
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Later in the week you called the friend's house to ask Deacon a question. You apologized to the friend's mother when she answered saying you hoped you were not disturbing the boys. She advised that you were not disturbing them that they were watching TV just like they had been doing every day and that she would put Deacon on the phone.

What happens to Deacon?

BONUS: You are the friend's parent and have just found out your son has been assisting Deacon with avoiding his restriction and is complicit in the lie. Do you take any action against your son?


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kalico


Sherrif
as the friends parent....NO
if you want to ground your son from something then you should have called me before hand and told me....


for the parent of Decon....If I didn't want my son to watch TV then I shouldn't have let him go into someone else's house....my bad as his parent. scratch  if Decon, my son was sneaking in the late hours to watch tv then why did I think he would honor his NO TV at a friends house....




hugs kal

Jack


Admin
I feel really torn on this one. The kid obviously watches too much TV (and he needs to be taught to use a DVR), but taking all TV away for a week seems kind of cruel. I think it would have been better to spank him, then help him regulate (and control) his TV watching, as well as trying to help him develop other interests.

That's what I'm going to do now.

As to being the other kid's parent: No. I'd talk to him, but I really don't know for sure that he knew about it. Even if I did, it's not my kid's responsibility to help enforce someone else's punishment. I will probably have a talk with him about it, but that's it.

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Padraig


Trailboss
Right now I find nothing to add.

AFinch


Sherrif
I don't have much to add either. In the world of the 1970's, "no TV for a week" was a real punishment, and if you followed a serial, you missed what happened, perhaps forever.

In today's world, (and even since the late 70's/early 80's when VCRs became commonplace), "no TV" handled properly results in delayed gratification--which I think isn't a terrible thing to learn.

However, in this case, and using kidthink, I didn't say he couldn't watch TV at someone ELSE's house, and I allowed him to go to another house. Even if I had called and made the other kid's mother aware of my punishment, it's not really her job to enforce it. Deacon has made a successful end run.

I'm going to let him know that I don't appreciate his sneakiness. We will work on regulating his TV time with the clear understanding that if this happens again, he will be spanked, and if it has to happen, it won't be preferable to missing TV.

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Doc is right about this being a potential real punishment when we were kids, but today this isn't even much of an inconvenience!

I should have granted Deacon's request to spank him in the first place, as I certainly am about to be doing it now for disobedience AND dishonesty.  I will take into consideration the fact that I put him in the position where he felt he had to be dishonest (cheat), but that doesn't excuse it by a long shot!  

After said spanking which I will use to cover the original offense as well, we can discuss what is 'reasonable' use of TV watching and come up with a schedule that works for everyone.  Is he video addicted?  If so, we'll have to look at a process to wean him down.

As to being the parent of Deac's buddy....
Now that I've been made aware of the situation, my son and I are going to have a LONG talk about friendship, honesty, and our obligations.  If he displays sufficient understanding/remorse that's as far as we'll go.  If I get a 'fluff it' attitude or 'tude in general it may escalate to a spanking for him.

squarecutter


Sherrif
I'm paddling Deacon for his disobedience and dishonesty . He can collaborate with his friend or on the phone about schoolwork if necessary till the tv ban is over.

As a parent of the pal I will seek to establish how much Deacon had told him but we will probably just have a chat about complicity and how what the law

might call being an 'accessory after the fact' can land you in hot water as well. I will suggest to Deacons parents that we other dont allow the boys to visit

during a period of restriction or at least let each other know what the score is. We certainly don't expect our son to be a 'Grass.'

Iconoclast


Trailboss
AFinch wrote:I don't have much to add either.  In the world of the 1970's, "no TV for a week" was a real punishment, and if you followed a serial, you missed what happened, perhaps forever.

In today's world, (and even since the late 70's/early 80's when VCRs became commonplace), "no TV" handled properly results in delayed gratification--which I think isn't a terrible thing to learn.  

However, in this case, and using kidthink, I didn't say he couldn't watch TV at someone ELSE's house, and I allowed him to go to another house.  Even if I had called and made the other kid's mother aware of my punishment, it's not really her job to enforce it.  Deacon has made a successful end run.

I'm going to let him know that I don't appreciate his sneakiness.  We will work on regulating his TV time with the clear understanding that if this happens again, he will be spanked, and if it has to happen, it won't be preferable to missing TV.
I agree mostly with Kier but I DO appreciate my son's sneakiness!! With our increasingly totalitarian government skill at sneaking is a necessary skill. And respect for authority will be very bad when it is time for outright revolution!!

Iconoclast

John Boy


Sherrif
What Jack said. I will add My mom Did that to me one time. She caught me watching one of the batman cartoons when I was kid. FOr the rest of the week I could only watch the TV themes of my fav. shows.

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ivor


Marshall
I'm going to spank him and increase the "No TV" ban for an extra week.

As for his friend, well he was only doing what friends do o as his parent I'm not going to do anything more than talk to him - and let him know due to him Deacon got a spanking.

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MemoryMan


Sherrif
After reading the other responses I'm going to have to fly solo on this one.  I'm going to go ahead and ask Deacon my question as I remain officially ignorant of his subterfuge.

The boys WERE working on a project.
Deacon WAS a guest in his friend's house and etiquette dictates that if his friend wanted a TV break he should follow suit.

Rather grudgingly I am proud that Deacon showed the resourcefulness and bottle necessary to find a way round my restriction; and annoyed with myself for allowing such a glaring loophole in the first place.

Deacon has demonstrated a life skill that will serve him well in the future and at the moment he score is:

 Deacon 1 - Dad 0

........but I have learned something about my son that will serve me in the future. Basketball

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Jack


Admin
MemoryMan wrote:Rather grudgingly I am proud that Deacon showed the resourcefulness and bottle necessary to find a way round my restriction; and annoyed with myself for allowing such a glaring loophole in the first place.
You shouldn't be annoyed at yourself, except for letting him double talk you. If you look back at the scenario, you told him 'no TV for a week.' You didn't make any exceptions for TV's elsewhere. You said 'none'.




Icono, I know I've said this before, but the problem I have with your answers is that you're not trying to teach a kid the difference between good and bad authority. Even from your perspective, you should understand the importance of that, because without leadership, your 'revolution' is nothing but a mob and offers nothing more than target practice. The honest truth is that thoughtless rebellion is no better than thoughtless obedience.

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David M. Katz


Marshall
I was born at night but not last night so I can't believe I was naive enough to fall for this.

Also, Deacon needs to learn to use the DVR.

Obviously, for whatever reason this restriction is not working. I will tell Deacon on the phone that I know he is watching TV. If he legitimately has a project to do I will tell him to be right home after that and we will talk.

I will give Deacon the spanking he originally asked for that will cover all sins and I will end this restriction.

Deacon and I will establish some guidelines and limits for TV and I will show him how to use the DVR.

As far as the friend's parent - I will have a talk and that is all.


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David M. Katz


Marshall
John Boy wrote: FOr the rest of the week I could only watch the TV themes of my fav. shows.
Shocked  Poor you!

That would be worse on a kid than just not being able to watch TV at all.

Hugs I love you 


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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I agree with Kal.

Kat

Stone Man


Marshall
Deacon comes home and is spanked for pulling this stunt and is grounded as I can't trust him to follow the rules that have been set.

Twisted Evil Then he gets a choice of not seeing his show for a week or getting a spanking before he is allowed to watch each episode. Twisted Evil Razz 

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