Bransom, TX

a discussion place for our web site


You are not connected. Please login or register

BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair?

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1 BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Sun Dec 22, 2013 5:19 pm

Jack


Admin
Your 15-year old nephew, Skyler, has been staying with you for about a week now. He was beat up where he attends school (in another town), and he came to stay with you while things are sorted out. He was going to be spending most of the Christmas holiday with you anyway.

Skyler

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

When Skyler first arrived, he was still pretty stiff and sore, so you didn't ask much of him. Besides, all your kids were in school most of the day, and he had homework of his own, so it was pretty rough on him.

Time passed, he recovered, and vacation started. Oh, and you started asking him to help out a bit. Especially the last day or so of school, when you were running around like a madman (or woman) trying to get everything ready for the class parties, and then the parties you would be hosting within a day or two.

You could say that Skyler was less than enthusiastic. You could (more accurately) say he ignored you entirely and just didn't do anything.

You tried to be understanding. You reminded yourself that things were pretty rough on him right now, so he was probably acting out a bit. You covered everything you could, and got your own kids to help a bit where they could.

Friday, Skyler's brother joined you. You've had two parties the last two nights - one just for kids, and one for families. Skyler didn't know everyone there, but he's been at your home before, and he did know several kids. More than that, he obviously had a good time.

Great, he seems to be doing much better and recovering.

Then today, what you have planned as a quiet day to recover from the parties, before the family Christmas celebration begins, you're wishing you could get a quiet minute, since you're running around - cleaning up, preparing for the next couple of days, and trying to make time to visit with your adult kids who've stopped around (and play with your grandkids). You ask Skyler to separate the whites out of the dirty laundry and start a load. He tells you he'll do it in a minute.

An hour later, you remind him he needs to get that done. He tells you (again) he'll do it in a minute. You tell him he needs to do it now, but you don't have a chance to follow up, because of a hyperactive, four-year old granddaughter who just stole her five-year old uncle's favorite teddy bear.

Twenty minutes later, Skyler is still playing video games, and no laundry has been done.

You have permission from his dad to treat him just like you would your own kids. With Christmas three days away, grounding or even restrictions aren't much of an option. You've spanked him before, and your own kids who are a year or two older than him are still paddled occasionally (with their general agreement), but you can't quite get passed the fact that he was in the hospital and seriously banged up less than two weeks ago.

So what do you do now?


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

2 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Sun Dec 22, 2013 5:29 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
Embarassed Embarassed 

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

3 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Sun Dec 22, 2013 6:44 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
I think the rest of the evening with no video game privileges will suffice. It will give him time to concentrate on his chore as well as give him the message that I am serious.


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=David+M.+Katz

4 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Sun Dec 22, 2013 8:19 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote:I think the rest of the evening with no video game privileges will suffice.  It will give him time to concentrate on his chore as well as give him the message that I am serious.
I change my mind, well said.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

5 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Sun Dec 22, 2013 10:51 pm

Padraig


Trailboss
I will switch off his game and tell him "Well, buddy, you can do it now or you can stand in the corner for 30 minutes and do it afterwards. Either way, if it is not done in 35 minutes you will not touch any electronics until christmas. Do you understand me?"

6 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Mon Dec 23, 2013 2:23 am

ivor


Marshall
Vacation has started so he can go home - right now!

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

7 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Mon Dec 23, 2013 8:19 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Ivor has the best idea but being an old softie he can have a final ultimatum before I start packing his things.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

8 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Mon Dec 23, 2013 10:55 am

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm not sure how I would respond. I have to ask myself first if I would ask an adult guest to pitch in and help out in the same way I have asked Sklyer to. It's one thing to expect guests to pick up after themselves and minimize any extra work their presence is causing; it's another to expect guests to pay their way by helping with chores that would exist, regardless of their presence. It violates the demands of hospitality that I was brought up to respect. Then there is the issue of Skyler's recent trauma, which is bound to have both physical and emotional effects on him. I can't see myself spanking him, especially at this time of the year. I suppose before I do anything, I would try to talk with him. I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that he is suffering from PTSD. After all, he has undergone a violent assault. I'm going to tread carefully here.

Kat

9 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Mon Dec 23, 2013 11:12 am

Pi Beta


Deputy
Kat wrote: I suppose before I do anything, I would try to talk with him. I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that he is suffering from PTSD. After all, he has undergone a violent assault.
Kat

Having read in today's Daily Telegraph that Canadian psychologists (or was it psychiatrists?) have discovered that Electro-convulsive therapy helps to remove/lessen the memory of traumatic events, perhaps a sound spanking would have the same effect and thus do him good in two respects!

Maybe worth experimenting on Skyler?

10 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Mon Dec 23, 2013 11:23 am

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
Pi Beta wrote:
Kat wrote:  I suppose before I do anything, I would try to talk with him. I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that he is suffering from PTSD. After all, he has undergone a violent assault.
Kat

Having read in today's Daily Telegraph that Canadian psychologists (or was it psychiatrists?) have discovered that Electro-convulsive therapy helps to remove/lessen the memory of traumatic events, perhaps a sound spanking would have the same effect and thus do him good in two respects!

Maybe worth experimenting on Skyler?

I would imagine that the negative associations of spanking would more than offset any therapeutic benefit. I'm aware also of studies that suggest extreme exercise and pain (as from caning) are at least as effective as antidepressants. However, ethical considerations prohibit me from amateur experimentation. I also would question the ethics of experimentation on someone who has not given his informed consent, and who is a minor.

Kat

11 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Mon Dec 23, 2013 12:41 pm

squarecutter


Sherrif
My first thought is that I'm not touching the area of his body where he was assaulted!. The thing is though that some of the other kids might do just that if, at this very busy time, he continues to refuse to do his share.. One last chance or I fetch the paddle

12 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Mon Dec 23, 2013 2:19 pm

Padraig


Trailboss
Kat wrote:It's one thing to expect guests to pick up after themselves and minimize any extra work their presence is causing; it's another to expect guests to pay their way by helping with chores that would exist, regardless of their presence.

Yes and no. If it was just a case of emergency he would probably be spoiled to death.  Embarassed But since his stay was already planned I guess it was not the first visit. I don't think I would demand something that weren't common during his previous stays. On the other hand, if I (as an adult) stay a couple of days or weeks with friends or relatives I automatically offer to share the houshold chores so my host wouldn't need to ask.

13 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Tue Dec 24, 2013 3:18 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
I will ask Skyler if he remembers what happens to my boys and their friends who frequent my house when they ignore repeated requests to do a simple chore to help out.

Then will take him by the hand and lead him to the work and even help him out a bit to do the chore. I hope he can do better when his help is needed in the future.

14 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Tue Dec 24, 2013 4:58 pm

Jack


Admin
In a way, Kat has a pretty good point. The thing is, I've never had an adult guest who came for two weeks. For that matter, I've never had an adult guest who didn't insist on helping with some of the chores. As well, if the kid's here for two weeks, I'd assume he's adding to the amount of laundry to be done, by at least a load or so.

For those of you who didn't guess (or who don't read my part of the forum), this is based on my nephew, Kyle. If you have been reading those, you'll probably realize that Kat's thoughts are completely unfounded.

For those of you who haven't been reading that, I realized, as soon as Kat made his comments, that I'd left too much out. The reason Kyle (and his big brother) stayed with me at Thanksgiving, and are here for the entire Christmas vacation, is that they got into some major rule breaking, which included a run in with the police for DJ. To put it simply, they're here because their parents don't trust them home alone.

Also, when they were younger, they were here a lot, and they were always treated like the other boys - including helping with chores - when it was for more than a few days.

Actually, Padraig came very close to what I actually did.

I quietly told Skyler (Kyle) that he could put the game down and come with me right then, or that I could drag him by the ear.

He came quietly.

I put him in a corner of the utility room while I sorted the clothes. At that point, I let him turn around, and simply told him that he could lose his gaming privileges until Christmas, or that he could chip in and help a bit.

He was grumpy for a bit, but he settled down, and that was the only problem we had. I'm not sure if he was just out of sorts, testing me, or feeling a bit entitled, but we got past it.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

15 Re: BOTD 23 Dec 2013: What's Fair? on Tue Dec 24, 2013 11:51 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
A good outcome.

Sponsored content


View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum