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BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It

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1 BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:07 pm

Jack


Admin
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Blake is 16 and a sophomore in high school. For about a year and a half now, he's been very close friends with several of your boys, and he actually lived with you for a bit last year, when he was having a huge fight with his parents (mom). You've also been his tutor for a while, using the same methods with him that you use with your boys - homework folder, scheduled study time, corporal punishment...

After a rough time last year, and a rocky start this year, Blake has been doing really well... HAD been doing really well. Today, he came to you with a test which he failed.

Normally, Blake can be depended on to make a 80 to 85 on most tests. This test was in history. One of your sons has the same history teacher, so you were able to talk to him to get some details. The history teacher has been complaining about students who aren't doing the reading, which he considers as much a part of things as doing homework and paying attention in class. Since the new six weeks started, he's been handing out 'additional reading packets', which haven't had homework with them. It turns out that those packets made up about thirty percent of the test. Since Blake hadn't bothered to read them, that started him at a 70, and another 17 percent off that put him well below the pass line.

Blake's parents read him the riot act, but your agreement with him (and them) is that you handle these issues, so they've washed their hands and passed him on.

You talk to Blake about what happens. He apologizes for letting you down and asks if you're going to paddle him. For the record, your agreement is that he gets paddled for not turning in homework or doing his study time. However, besides the paddle, you've actually spanked him before, and treating him childishly was very effective last time you used it.

How much sympathy does Blake have coming, and how much is he going to need?


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
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2 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:10 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
Well it wasn't homework but they were told that reading is a big part of it. I say we try a childish approach to a childish display of thinking.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

3 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:27 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
He violated the agreement. He didn't do his study time, turn in his homework, or pass his exam. He deserves little sympathy.

Swats are a big boy consequence to a big boy behavior. This was very juvenile, and at a time when it probably counts most if he has future college plans. If treating him childishly worked well previously, it sounds like that would be the way to go.

4 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Sun Feb 16, 2014 10:06 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
Acting childishly gets you spanked like one in my book, with maybe some paddling on top of it. If spanking him hadn't worked well recently than I'd feel differently about that approach and just paddle him (presuming that works on him). He needs to be working on all aspects of his education and not blowing off parts that aren't specifically part of your agreement.

5 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Sun Feb 16, 2014 10:31 pm

1strappedboy


Sherrif
He get exceedingly little sympathy from me!!  These extra reading assignments are to be completed just as any other assignment and he knows it.

If the paddle is the designated "fix" for such things then that's what he's getting from me.  Honestly, had this been one of mine, a solid 6 with the strop would be on the table as I can find little mitigating circumstance.  That being said, Blake should consider himself lucky that that you're willing to simply warm his rear with your hand for this!

6 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:31 pm

mahoover


Cowboy
A lot of my answer depends on how our agreement was structured.  He has failed to keep up with his reading, which is one of his assignments, so he has bought the consequences from the agreement.  If the agreement specified what the CP would be, then that is what he gets.  If the agreement didn't specify the form of the CP, then I would lean toward to giving him a choice of six swats of the paddle on his boxers or 5 on his bare butt.  I would also tell him that he needs to meet with his teacher to talk about how he can improve his grade, i.e., see if there is any extra credit work he can do.
One of the important things that I am trying to teach is about keeping agreements. And that means that I have to keep to the agreement as well. The agreement was to paddle, so paddle it is. I doubt that I would make an agreement that contained a specific number of swats, but if I did, I need to keep it.

7 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 1:26 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
Am I right in thinking Blake switched off in class at the moment that they were told they would be tested on these reading packages which werent part of the homework per se. If so it might be tempting to allow the failed tet be the natural consequence of inattentiveness. Still though, as Blake is in my hands to stop this kind of thing then I think six with the appropriate paddle on boxers as suggested would be right. I am sure he will be all ears when he sits down in class, at least for a week or so

8 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:34 am

ivor


Marshall
The paddle would be my answer.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

9 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:54 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Spanking is more fun  Arrow perhaps a few with the paddle to finish off.

Bare of course; he has a real lesson to learn.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

10 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:54 am

db105


Trailboss
mahoover wrote:A lot of my answer depends on how our agreement was structured.  He has failed to keep up with his reading, which is one of his assignments, so he has bought the consequences from the agreement.  If the agreement specified what the CP would be, then that is what he gets.  If the agreement didn't specify the form of the CP, then I would lean toward to giving him a choice of six swats of the paddle on his boxers or 5 on his bare butt.  I would also tell him that he needs to meet with his teacher to talk about how he can improve his grade, i.e., see if there is any extra credit work he can do.
One of the important things that I am trying to teach is about keeping agreements.  And that means that I have to keep to the agreement as well.  The agreement was to paddle, so paddle it is.  I doubt that I would make an agreement that contained a specific number of swats, but if I did, I need to keep it.

Mahoover gets my vote.

It seems we have an agreement about his school work. If I understand correctly, he has a homework folder where he is expected to write down all his homework so that he doesn't forget any and so that I can supervise it. These "reading packets" are clearly homework, since they are school work that needs to be done at home and they are part of his grade (it doesn't make any difference if there's no writing involved). He failed to write them down and then forgot about it or decided not to do it. That's unacceptable. If he has not been in trouble lately I would be inclined to let him off this time with a telling off and supervise his school work more closely for a while. However, since we have an agreement, I'm going to keep it. I assume that we agreed on the paddle for missing homework because he had had trouble with that, so it makes sense to be strict so that he's kept on the straight and narrow.

The paddle it is, then. It doesn't need to be a harsh paddling. Regarding the clothed/boxers/bare choice, I will administer it as I usually do. I will emphasize that he is not being punished for failing a test, but for failing to write down his homework and do it.

He will definitely be talking with his teacher to see if there is any extra credit work he can do to make up for this failed test.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Danny

11 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 4:17 am

Jack


Admin
I'm not going to post my answer yet, but I did want to make a couple of comments.

Blake's biggest problem was in not turning in his homework. Once he started to do that, his test grades increased simply from him being more familiar with the material.

The folder system I use with my kids is designed to help them (and me) keep track of what assignments they need to finish. I tend to think of that in terms of work to be turned in, but Dmitri (who seems to have mentioned it first) and the rest of you are right that reading assignments are part of that, and I'm going to adjust the instruction sheets (and maybe the folders as a whole) to reflect that more strongly.

I'm also going to throw out a (possible) mitigating factor, by reminding everyone that Blake is dyslexic. While he's doing much better now, and while he even reads some for pleasure, reading still tends to be a chore for him.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

12 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 4:43 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
Jack wrote:I'm not going to post my answer yet, but I did want to make a couple of comments.

Blake's biggest problem was in not turning in his homework.  Once he started to do that, his test grades increased simply from him being more familiar with the material.

The folder system I use with my kids is designed to help them (and me) keep track of what assignments they need to finish.  I tend to think of that in terms of work to be turned in, but Dmitri (who seems to have mentioned it first) and the rest of you are right that reading assignments are part of that, and I'm going to adjust the instruction sheets (and maybe the folders as a whole) to reflect that more strongly.

I'm also going to throw out a (possible) mitigating factor, by reminding everyone that Blake is dyslexic.  While he's doing much better now, and while he even reads some for pleasure, reading still tends to be a chore for him.


Dyslexia would certainly make a difference. You are struggling to read the material rather than take it in and then make sense of it

13 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 4:54 am

db105


Trailboss
Jack wrote:
The folder system I use with my kids is designed to help them (and me) keep track of what assignments they need to finish.  I tend to think of that in terms of work to be turned in, but Dmitri (who seems to have mentioned it first) and the rest of you are right that reading assignments are part of that, and I'm going to adjust the instruction sheets (and maybe the folders as a whole) to reflect that more strongly.

I'm also going to throw out a (possible) mitigating factor, by reminding everyone that Blake is dyslexic.  While he's doing much better now, and while he even reads some for pleasure, reading still tends to be a chore for him.

I think I would accept the not being clear that reading assignments are homework argument as a mitigating factor, although it seems common sense to me. If you feel that he deserves a break because of how well he is doing, this might be a good excuse to spank instead of paddle him, or even to let him off without CP this time.

I don't think I would accept the dyslexia as a mitigating factor in this case. I mean, I understand that it makes this assignment much harder for him. He may ask for help or talk with the teacher or with you about it if he feels unable to do it, but it's not OK to just ignore it.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Danny

14 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 5:16 am

Emlyn Morgan


Trailboss
I'm going to whack him!

15 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 7:23 am

mahoover


Cowboy
I see the reading assignments as homework, so I am punishing for missing homework assignments. It is Blake's responsibility to put the assignments in the homework folder, and to work on them. The fact that there is nothing to turn in doesn't change that this is homework. If he is having trouble with them, he should go to his teacher or me to get help. I am already giving him a break, because I am sure that the punishment for missing that number of homework assignments would be much higher.
I am sure that Blake is upset with himself, so I don't need to hammer this. I just need to provide some consequences and help him recover from his mistake.

16 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:35 am

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm pretty much in agreement with Mahoover and Daniel (Db105). I do understand that the kid with dyslexia is going to have a much harder time with reading assignments, but Blake has to learn to speak up when he has that sort of problem. Someone could read the material to him, or the teacher might even make recordings of the material available as an accommodation.

Kat

17 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 12:00 pm

Pi Beta


Deputy
I'm not going to be spanking or paddling him for this. To me, this is a misunderstanding that I can understand UNLESS the teacher had made it clear that they would be tested on the additional reading and, more specifically, when. To my mind, the teacher should have emphasisied this by testing them in writing or, probably more appropriately by picking on one or two each week to question orally, the first week after giving out the reading packages. After that there could be no excuse for any misunderstanding.

He knows now that he's boobed - that's sufficient in my book this time.

18 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:06 pm

Jack


Admin
Pi Beta wrote:I'm not going to be spanking or paddling him for this. To me, this is a misunderstanding that I can understand UNLESS the teacher had made it clear that they would be tested on the additional reading and, more specifically, when.

My understanding is that the teacher made it VERY clear that the students were responsible for ALL material that he assigned, whether he covered it in class or not. I haven't had a chance to talk to the teacher yet, but from a couple of things that were allowed to slip, I have the feeling this might have been an issue for him last semester as well, but with reading assignments from the book at that point.


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
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19 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 4:32 pm

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Kat wrote:I'm pretty much in agreement with Mahoover and Daniel (Db105).  I do understand that the kid with dyslexia is going to have a much harder time with reading assignments, but Blake has to learn to speak up when he has that sort of problem. Someone could read the material to him, or the teacher might even make recordings of the material available as an accommodation.

Kat

The idea of having a "multi-media approach" for his information gathering is a good idea, as I HAD forgotten Blake is dyslexic. It is still not a mitigating factor in this instance because he failed to treat it AS an assignment when he knew that it needed to be so treated. Follow through with the agreed consequence!

20 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 5:01 pm

Jack


Admin
We've got some good answers for this one already, so I'll go ahead and say yes, this was pretty much straight from RL.

Like I said earlier, I was a bit tied up in the 'turning in homework' aspect of the folder, since that was his main problem in the past. I was kind of seeing it that way and wasn't sure how far to push.

It turns out that he saw it the same way as most of you did. Not only was he upset with himself for not passing the test, but he was upset with himself for not being honest with me, and not filling out the folder correctly (and as of today, we have altered the folder sheets to have a space for reading assignments to be listed and checked).

There is a way that Blake and I are a lot alike --- probably because his mother and my mother are a lot alike in at least one way. Blake and I will both feel really bad about something, when we know we've screwed up, but if you push us too much, we start getting defensive. Instead of chewing Blake out, I led him through all the steps. I pointed out that he let himself down more than anyone else. I let him make his excuses, then made him pick holes in them. I had to help him along at times, but I was always encouraging him to be honest with himself, never driving him or forcing my opinion on him.

He did not care for this one bit. At one point, he broke down crying and told me he hated me. At another, he nearly begged me to 'just whup (him)'.

We talked for probably 15 or 20 minutes. It took that long, because we had to get through him blaming everybody vaguely associated with his history class. Then it took us another five minutes or so for me to get him to suggest the consequence I'd decided was about right.

By the way, it looks like there were 11 reading assignments, and he says he read 'a couple' of them, and skimmed a couple more. If we called it nine strikes, that would be about 15 swats with the medium lexan. Noah can barely take 6, so there's no way Blake could take five. He did suggest giving them over a few days, which was kind of tempting actually, but I didn't want it hanging over his head, so finally nixed that.

I moved over to my office chair, Blake came to me and held up his muscle shirt while I removed his pants and shorts. Then he went and got the big stool, moved it to the center of the room, and I transfered over there. He climbed up on it and went over my lap, which left him with hands and feet dangling in the air. Then I gave him a very long, very thorough hand spanking, which left him crying hard and loud.

I gave him a minute to recover, then I gave him the 15 swats he had coming, but I used the small lexan, instead of the medium.

He was bawling before I finished with him.

There were actually two funny things about this (afterwards, at least). First, I don't remember if this has happened before, but after I'd let him up and held him for a while, he suddenly got VERY shy. He wasn't erect, so maybe it was just physical modesty acting up because he'd been so emotionally vunerable? (Blake is very needy about physical attention, but also pretty uncomfortable about accepting it sometimes).

The other thing is that Noah was outside my office, pacing like an expectant father. He was pissed at me, which led to Noah and Blake almost getting in a fight over whether I'd whupped him too hard.




I have heard from this teacher again. There were a lot of students besides Blake who either didn't pass or barely passed. The teacher explained that he made it VERY clear at the beginning of the semester (we're in the fifth week of this semester now) that the kids were responsible for everything he assigned, and that his job description didn't include spoon feeding them answers before the tests. He is going to give them a break though. The kids who didn't make an 'A', will be allowed to take another test, based solely on the extra reading. That grade will be worth 30 points, and it will be added to the test. Kids who did make an A will have a choice between a library pass, or taking the test on a 100% scale, and using it in place of their lowest homework grade for this six weeks (including a zero, if they chose not to turn something in).

Sounds pretty fair, and Blake assures me he's already started the reading.

I'm going to pass on Kat's advice, and suggest that he and Johnny take turns reading it to each other.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

21 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 5:21 pm

db105


Trailboss
That was nice of Noah, wasn't it? Very Happy 

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Danny

22 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Mon Feb 17, 2014 10:11 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
I'd figured on 5 swats or so but no where near 15. I like the idea of OTK hand spankings throughout the boys lives and adding a little something extra to drive a point home.

You can lead a Blake to a conclusion but it does take time. I think it's good the homework folder will now have "non paperwork" assignments added to it.

The Noah protection of Blake plan. That has a nice ring to it.

You've got a good/intelligent/understanding teacher on your hands.

23 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Tue Feb 18, 2014 3:45 am

Jack


Admin
Stone Man wrote:I'd figured on 5 swats or so but no where near 15.

The fifteen would have been if you figured how many strikes he would have received for not doing the reading assignments. In reality, it would have been nowhere near that much, if I'd known to be checking on it, but he was stealthy and built them all up at once. On the other hand, I don't think 15 with the little paddle was near as bad as 5 with the medium would have been - except after he'd already been spanked, I suppose.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

24 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Tue Feb 18, 2014 4:46 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
All sounds fair though I'm not sure how a parent verifies a reading assignment is done without ploughing through the material themselves and then testing on it. As to that teacher I hear him on spoon feeding but I think if you plan on a live test you need to be clear the reading needs to be done

25 Re: BOTD 17 Feb 2014: Begging for It on Tue Feb 18, 2014 10:58 am

LLALVA


Trailboss
I hope that Blake learns not to leave the readings for later study and that he does well in the next test.

Jack wrote:The other thing is that Noah was outside my office, pacing like an expectant father. He was pissed at me, which led to Noah and Blake almost getting in a fight over whether I'd whupped him too hard.

So nice of Noah I love you to worry about Blake, but why did they almost got in a fight?

Hugs

Leti

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