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BOTD 2/25/14 "A Trashy Situation" A DMK Prod.

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1 BOTD 2/25/14 "A Trashy Situation" A DMK Prod. on Mon Feb 24, 2014 7:12 pm

David M. Katz

A DMK Production

Jentzen is your son's very best friend.  Both boys are thirteen.  Jentzen is the son of a single mother who works long hours and so he is often at your house.  You consider him one of your family and love him like a son.  Jentzen is overall a very well behaved boy.  Jentzen's mother used to use grounding with her son if he needed to be punished.  She was not opposed to spanking she just felt uncomfortable doing it herself.  A couple of years ago, after a long session of being grounded, Jentzen, at the prompting of your son, spoke to his mother about getting spanked if he needed a punishment. His mother discussed the issue with you and you agreed to spank Jentzen if needed.  Since then you have given Jentzen three formal spankings (with your son as they were in trouble together) and you have delivered a few "warning shots" to his seat. Again, Jentzen is rarely in trouble.

Jentzen's mom calls and asks if he and she can come over and speak with you.

Jentzen and his mother live in a large apartment complex with several units.  Their unit is on the lower side near a wooded area. Jentzen's chore at home is to keep the trash cans emptied and to take the trash to the complex's dumpster.  The dumpster is on the other side of the complex.  Jentzen does a great job of keeping the trash cans empty and, until recently, has done a good job of taking the bags to the dumpster.

Apparently Jentzen was observed by the apartment complex management placing his bags of trash in the wooded area near the back of the complex. Jentzen's mother is now faced with a significant fee for cleaning the area.

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Jentzen admits to the "short cut" but gives an explanation. First of all he is obviously very guilty of being thirteen and falling in to "kid think." Jentzen says it was a closer walk to put the trash in the woods and not in the dumpster.  Jentzen explains he saw other trash there and he waited several days before putting his there too.  Jentzen said the trash pile got bigger each day so he finally decided to put his trash there too.  Jentzen says he felt it was not a big deal. For about three weeks Jentzen has been depositing trash bags in the wooded area about three times a week. Jentzen said he did admit to the apartment management that he was putting trash in the woods but he says he explained he had very little there and he was not the only one.  Despite this explanation, Jentzen was the one caught and so therefore his mother is responsible for the clean up.

How will you help Jentzen and his mother sort this situation out?

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

John Boy

I think the logical and stinky consequence is he has to help clean and remove the trash, or if he gets an allowance the "clean up fee" could come out of it. Perhaps he does need a spanking but I don't see how, unless you want to say the chore was not getting done properly.


Jentzen can help with the cleanup and any fees his mom incurs as a result of the shortcut can come, at least partially, from his pocket money. That's the logical consequence of the (non) crime.

I wouldn't spank for this.

Stone Man

Kid Think being the logic that it is to Jentzen, I can't see that he was doing anything with malicious intent and he fessed up to management making no excuses other than it not all being his.

Kier and JB have come up with a good solution.


I agree. Per "kid think" there's nothing wrong with him doing 'what everyone else' is doing.  I don't think physical punishment should be on the table here.  He NOW knows it is unacceptable to do this so any future failures to put trash where it belongs would be a spanking offense so I'll make sure we're very clear about that.

Just a side note, while I won't punish him for what went on before, I WILL ask him why he thought improper disposal of the trash was ok beyond the fact that "others were doing it".


I agree.



Hugs kal


Gee! Has everyone had a 'softness injection' overnight??

Jentzen is 13 not 8!!

He'd been putting the trash where it should be put for some time with no problem. He knew it should be put there and then the dumpster would be taken away and the trash disposed of. He would equally have known that if he dumped the trash in the woods he was firstly not doing what he should and secondly it wouldn't get taken away.

The fact someone else had dumped trash there first is no justification, simply an excuse for laziness.

I think he needs a good spanking to wake his ideas up.


If it weren't that Jentzen was following someone/ several others? bad example there would be little problem with this I am sure. His Mom would bring him over and if/as requested I would wear him out. I don't know if Mom is asking me to spank or for my opinion on whether Jentzen needs spanking but ultimately it is her call and if she thinks that is what should happen I will do so. Now that Mom is getting fined how does Jentzen feel about it, Guilty enough to need a spanking or is he arguing for clemency? As I said it is Moms call in whether Jentzen gets paddled or not in the end. Ultimately Jentzen will at least be doing some of the clear up though I suspect it is now beyond the capability of one 13 year old so will probably do the neighbourly thing and help out.


What Ivor said ---- plus an additional financial penalty.

PS.  The contractors insurers would most likely preclude Jenson from being involved in the clear up; also a search for paperwork in the other rubbish would most probably serve to identify other culprits.


I don't know anything about the fees or alternatives, but I'm willing to check into it, take a look at their lease, and help with the clean up if needed.

I don't think that's the question being asked, though.

I think this will be a good lesson in peer pressure for Jentzen. Just because you see others doing something doesn't mean it's okay. It's also a good example of... not of selective enforcement, but of being the one caught when 'everyone is doing it'. It might be true, but it doesn't make it right.

I think J knows he screwed up, and that he knows his actions are causing trouble for a lot of other people, and he's going to feel much better after he recovers from his session over my lap with Red.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

Emlyn Morgan

I'm going to whack him!


What everyone else seems to have overlooked is the basic fact that there are very good reasons why garbage should be carefully disposed of, and Jentzen seems not to be aware of them. We will have an earnest discussion about flies and disease, for example, and I will show him what places look like when people carelessly dispose of their rubbish.

What would happen if *everyone* just disposed of their garbage by throwing it in the most convenient place and all (cut, paste, and replace 'x' with 't'... warning, not pretty)...


It may be extreme, but it's not too far removed from what happens in North American slums...

Memory man is right... I don't think the contractors will allow Jentzen to participate in the cleanup due to safety and health concerns... he might be injured... and there is almost certainly a good deal of raw human waste contained in disposable diapers in those assorted garbage bags.

I don't want my thirteen year old boy exposed to the pathogens those diapers will contain (Stevie hates disposable diapers because he considers them to be *very* unsanitary).

Jentzen will pay a significant percentage of the fee I've been charged depending upon how large it is. I probably won't be able to get out of it except by going to court, and that might well end up being more expensive than just paying up... it may be several hundred dollars and he'll end up with very little pocket money for some time to come.

I may also make him write an essay on infant mortality with specific reference to the causes of infantile diarrhoea (just for the heck of it  Twisted Evil )...


David M. Katz

Yes, sweet little Jentzen did this.

I agree that the truly logical consequence would have been to have him help clean up the woods but, for safety reasons, this was not allowed.

Jentzen's mom was able to have a conversation with the lead manager at the complex on Monday afternoon and the conversation was very fruitful. The manager understood that Jentzen was a minor player in the matter and also understood he meant nothing malicious and so J's mom's fee for the clean-up was greatly reduced.

I did not see how a spanking would solve this or was necessary and neither did J's mom. I know and trust this boy and I know this will never be an issue again. J was very embarrassed and scared and had already beaten himself up over the matter.

Jentzen and I made a "business" arrangement. After his mom had a chance to negotiate with the manager I told him to tell me how much the fee was. (Her portion ended up being $150.) I advanced Jentzen the money and we agreed HE would go in and apologize and pay the fee himself. Jentzen is now in to me for 15 hours of chores at $10 an hour. He has until March 15 to work off his debt. He spent yesterday after school washing my windows while the other kids rode around on the dirt bike and go-kart. I think the fact he is working while others are playing has made the point better than any spanking could have.

He is truly a good kid - he just suffered from some really bad decision making.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


“Our lack of cleanliness is a problem, but that will not scare foreign tourists away,” said Subhash Goyal, president of the Tour Operators Association of India. “If tourists want to see everything clean and sanitized, they would go to Singapore. They come to India to see how 1.2 billion people live in their natural habitat. They are mentally prepared.” Exclamation  Exclamation  What a Face 

Just a litter bit: A woman throws waste into a garbage-choked Mumbai canal on Monday. | AP

S. Korea’s Park seeks to reboot unification driveChildren latest victims of spiralling Thai violenceAs violence escalates, Thai Army chief cautions nation may ‘collapse’Third child dies from wounds in weekend of Thai protest violence


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm glad the apartment manager didn't charge Jentzen's mother the full clean-up fee. I'd argue the apartment management should have done more to identify the other guilty parties in the first place, rather than dumping the entire responsibility on a vulnerable kid and single mother.

It seems to me that Katz handled the matter in an appropriate way. Jentzen should certainly have known better, as Ivor points out, but that doesn't mean a spanking is the best way for him to make amends. Paying back the clean-up fee will be something he remembers much longer than the sting of a spanking.



15 hours of cat(Z) service rather than community service

David M. Katz

Just an update.

Jentzen did VERY WELL with his "work off" chores.

He did odd jobs after school last week such as cleaning out my trash cans, sweeping the drive, and organizing and sweeping the garage. We had a big birthday bash party on Saturday. I did NOT want him to have to work during the party or during the "play time" after but we did let him help with the grunt work involved in the set up.

As of this morning he still owed 2 hours on his debt. I sent him out with a snow shovel to clear the drive and walkways. That task barely took an hour but I felt like his hard work and perseverance were worth something and so I declared him paid in full.

Like I have said, he's a good kid. He just fell into some stinking thinking. I absolutely do not see this as ever being a problem again. I do think having to "work it off" was way more effective than a spanking.

Case closed.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


Good stuff and hopefully a lesson learned; that's the battle.  cheers 

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