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BOTD 3/9/14 "Just Some Fun with A Friend" A Dimitri/1Strappedboy Production

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David M. Katz


Marshall
JUST SOME FUN WITH A FRIEND
A Dimitri / 1Strappedboy  Production


Ryan and Jeff are your sons.

15 year old Ryan and Jeff hit a friend's house for a party with their friend.  The boys all decided to partake in some adult beverages. At 12:30 AM you get a call from the friend's parents  to come collect your inebriated boys from their house.  You know their friend will be well whipped for this indiscretion; your guys are sick and sorry for their part.


RYAN, JEFF, AND FRIEND
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What are you going to do with Ryan and Jeff?



Last edited by David M. Katz on Sat Mar 08, 2014 9:30 pm; edited 2 times in total


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David M. Katz


Marshall
My biggest concern is this was done away from home and, very apparently, without the permission/supervision of the host parents.

I really have no problem with my guys having "adult" beverages as long as it is with my knowledge and permission and done AT HOME and not to the point of getting drunk.  None of these guidelines were followed.

I will let them sleep it off and then we will have a strong discussion about it all - they already know they are toast.  I will find my trusty belt and each boy will be given a long session of cow hide on boy hide.  I will hope they will want to apologize to the host parents but I'm not going to force an apology.  The matter is technically closed but I foresee a shorter leash for a while in the future when it comes to these three friends "partying" together.

I will add that it would appear the boys pilfered some booze from the hosts' stash. If this is the case then they will need to do some chores or lose some allowance to reimburse the friend's parents. If they didn't get it from the friend's parents then how did they get it? Is it from MY stash? If so then they owe me.



Last edited by David M. Katz on Sat Mar 08, 2014 2:59 pm; edited 1 time in total


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Jack


Admin
I'm going to have a serious talk with them. Since I do let my boys sample adult beverages at home from time to time, I expect them to abstain from the testing other boys might do. I do understand the need to feel in, but I'm sure they understand my position. My position is that illegal activity earns the switch, and I see no reason to alter that on this occasion.

I would probably let them sleep in, make sure they're not feeling sick, then switch them as soon as the rest of the family leaves for the theater.


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1strappedboy


Sherrif
I got back home just a short time ago from Dave and Jon's turn out at the farm.  I collected the 2 VERY inebriated and sick boys from their friend's house and sent them to bed with this ringing in their ears, "Consider yourself fortunate if I don't give you the full dozen, well laid on!"  Jeff, who has only had this happen once in his 14 and 3/4th years, ran back to the can and upchucked once again!  My real issue is Ryan.  I'm not sure how far to go with him, given his history; this goes FAR beyond the "I'm very disappointed with you guys" stage and it calls for truly recondite punishment.

Dave, who hung with me all day while we were at the farm, is pushing for lenience while Jon is insisting that I do the same to them that I did with Dave and him when they did something similar.  "It's only fair dad; you busted us and we survived, so will they!"  I fear how Ry will manage (psychologically) if I hurt him THAT badly.  He's a robust boy and he survived his first (and only) stropping quite well.  It was only 6 and I really didn't "bring the house down" on his rear.  A dozen of my best IS something to fear however and it really is the "nuclear option" in our house but it's one I believe is deserved in this instance.  Your opinions? BTW, this was the brainstorm of their friend whose dad's 'stash' has provided the goods. 

I plan on dealing with this tonight before bedtime.

John Boy


Sherrif
Ditto Katz and Jack

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Jack


Admin
1strappedboy wrote:He's a robust boy and he survived his first (and only) stropping quite well.  It was only 6 and I really didn't "bring the house down" on his rear.  A dozen of my best IS something to fear however and it really is the "nuclear option" in our house but it's one I believe is deserved in this instance.  Your opinions?

I think the important opinion here is Ryan's. He's (15 now?), and he should be able to take what Jeff can take. On the other hand, he hasn't had Jeff's experience. On the other, other hand, he's probably had worse experiences.

My suggestion is that he should take the full dozen, but give him a safe word to use after half. If he needs a break, he can have one, but he has to take them all by (tomorrow evening?), and he's grounded until he takes them all.

My guess is he might want a breather, but he'll probably get it over with. To be fair, make Jeff the same offer.


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squarecutter


Sherrif
I think the dozen with the strop once sober. But if yo feel Ryan really is going to melt down just choke back some from the force being applied or abort at 9. Not sure Dimitri, whether your boys are accustomed to being told how many before you start but if they are I think Ryan seems like the type of lad who would try very hard to make it to the end. 15year olds having the odd beer is fine but not getting smashed. It is their health and the worry about what an intoxicated teen might do and whether the police might wade in and break heads or make arrests that worries me most so serious punishment is certainly called for

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Oh yeah Square, I always "pronounce sentence" and I will often "suspend" the last couple if the kid has convinced me that he has well and truly learned the intended lesson. I will not exceed 12 HARD, but that is genuinely the baddest of the bad and RARELY doled out. I think they deserve it in this instance, and as I said earlier, Jeff has only had this happen once in his life. The kids are still in their rooms and were VERY subdued when I got in. I think I'll carry this out after dinner which should be up at any minute now. I like Jack's idea of offering a 'weenie word' for Ry of he's in too deep.

I'll let folks know how it goes on the other side. Thanks for the input

kalico


Sherrif
I like Jacks Idea and I agree with dave that they should get just what they would have gotten....HUGS!!





hugs kal

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Well folks, the deed has been done and I can look myself in the mirror and not feel like I was channeling Alex.

I took both of them into the den and reminded them that I loved them and this behavior needs to 1) never be repeated and 2) will be much more severely punished of it ever happens again.  Lyn has been on an all day tour de nag about the dangers of alcohol use and the perils of underage drinking, etc.  I had two teenagers who I think just wanted to get it over with by now!

I told Jeff to step out as I was taking Ryan first.  My den is soundproofed so Jeff didn't hear what happened and Ryan would not hear what happened with Jeff.  I told Ry that I was seriously considering going the max but that after thinking about it, I am settled that 8 'of the best' will suffice this time.  He apologized quite eloquently for his part in their stupidity and prepared to receive his due.  I stopped at 6 of the best which he didn't take nearly as stoically as our first go.  After I got him calmed down I had him get Jeff and wait outside the door until I was through with him.

Jeffy suffers from 'being the baby' and never does this very well and I got the usual begging and pleading and so forth.  Once he saw that it was going to happen he finally asked "How many dad?"  I told him the same thing I told Ryan and the waterworks were off to the races!  Never the less, he got into position as ordered. Like his brother, he got 6 with the remaining two held "in suspense" for the next 2 months, meaning that if we are here in the den again in the next 2 months he will get the full ration I sentence him to in addition to the remaining 2.  Once I got him over his crying, I called Ryan back in.

I wanted to take a few minutes with them together to recap everything and assure both of them of my love and concern for them which is WHY I did this in the first place.  We shared a group hug and before we let go, Ry whispered in my ear "I can't believe how hard you hit.  It was almost as hard as my father!  I guarantee there'll be no more drinking for me!  They are in the media room right now with the older kids and I'm sure there will be some ragging from them and some war stories being told.  All said, good brotherly interaction and I hope we don't have any more of this drama for a while.

Thanks for your input as always!  I like having the Bransom sounding board; it keeps my perspective and I really do appreciate that.  cheers

kalico


Sherrif
Dimitri I think you handled that very well and they got just what they deserved.....HUGS!




Hugs kal

John Boy


Sherrif
ouch, they did deserve it, but ouch.

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AFinch


Sherrif
Too late for my input to matter.

I think both boys bought and paid for what they got. I also think that Ryan knows the difference between a strapping delivered with love and care, even if it's "almost as hard as his father", and the abuse he received from that man. And I also think that knowing you'll treat him the same as his brothers, both for good and bad, is likely to make him feel secure in his position within the family.

You done good.

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Thanks Doc!! I always worry that I'll exceed the mark and my kids will look at me as I did Alex. I pray they know I love them and only want what's best for them.

Kittykat


Deputy
Dimitri I think you handled this perfectly. They bought and paid for it, and I'm glad Ryan was okay (Well, you know what I mean lol as I'm sure his rear disagrees)

Jack


Admin
1strappedboy wrote: Lyn has been on an all day tour de nag about the dangers of alcohol use and the perils of underage drinking, etc. I had two teenagers who I think just wanted to get it over with by now!

Lord, I hate this. I'm not saying Lyn did this (since I wasn't there), but some people just don't know when to drop it. It's like they feel the more words they throw at you, the more effective it will be. For me at least, there's a point - not just of diminishing returns, but when you ruin everything you might have accomplished, because I realize you're not a caring parent, but just a nag. My mom was like that, and I've known a number of other parents like that over the years, and it shocks me that they don't see it.

1strappedboy wrote:Thanks Doc!!  I always worry that I'll exceed the mark and my kids will look at me as I did Alex.  I pray they know I love them and only want what's best for them.

As we've said over and over in this group, the force has a lot less to do with it than the love and respect. When I was growing up, I had friends who were whupped a lot harder than me, but I'm the one who felt abused, because I wasn't being punished to help correct me and make me a better person - I was being punished for annoying and inconveniencing someone.

Kids know the difference.


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1strappedboy


Sherrif
Thanks Jack!! Mum did this to excess (the 'tour de nag') but I think Lyn did it "enough" that the kids thoroughly got it that this isn't a good idea. I think you're right about kids knowing the difference, but I still worry!

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
AFinch wrote:Too late for my input to matter.

I think both boys bought and paid for what they got.  I also think that Ryan knows the difference between a strapping delivered with love and care, even if it's "almost as hard as his father", and the abuse he received from that man.  And I also think that knowing you'll treat him the same as his brothers, both for good and bad, is likely to make him feel secure in his position within the family.

You done good.

Ditto

Kat

squarecutter


Sherrif
I wonder if Mums following up this way is their way of showing they are behind the Dads when they dish out the punishment so kids can't drive a wedge between them. Works well on smaller kids but teens are more likely to tune them out


Padraig


Trailboss
Well done. Tommorow it will be, well, not forgotten, but some "distant memory"...

1strappedboy


Sherrif
I do know they were unhappy to lose another hour of sleep with the switch to daylight savings time; they were a bit slow to rise and shine and Jeffy told me he was still not feeling all that good and I'm not too surprised at that.  It would appear that the three boys consumed the better part of a bottle of rum and a 1.75 liter bottle of 100 prf vodka.  These kids were plastered!   drunken 

I told them (for the 100th time) they were lucky they didn't need their stomachs pumped; I had no idea Friday night how much/what they had drank.  I got this info from Jared's dad, who tanned his son's hide just as efficiently as I had my boys.  God, the stupidity of youth!!!

I think Jeff and Ryan wished they were scheduled to serve at Liturgy this morning; those pews are uncomfortable at the best of times and I had 2 rather fidgety young men during the homily.  Razz   It appeared they were quite happy to stand back up as we resumed.

It's sometimes interesting what one can see from the choir loft perspective.

Stone Man


Marshall
The boys appear to have been well and ready punished. I have nothing of use to add.

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