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BOTD 03-23-2014 Put Him Out of His Misery - A DMK/John Boy Production

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Bransom Postmaster
A DMK and John Boy Production

Your son Randy just turned thirteen.  You typically spank Randy when he earns a punishment but decided to try something different since Randy is now thirteen.

On Thursday evening Randy told you he was going to go to a friend's house who lived nearby.  Instead he went to another friend's house who lived further away.  Randy lied to you because he thought yo would not allow him to go the further distance on a school night.  Randy was late coming in and had not called you. (Because his phone was dead.)  When calls to Randy started going straight to voice mail you decided to call the house of the friend you thought he was at.  You were informed he was not there and never had been.  Just as you were heading out to search for your son, Randy walked in the door.  When confronted with everything he came clean and admitted all and had no good excuse for being now almost an hour late.  Normally all of this would have earned Randy a deluxe spanking but you decided instead that Randy was to be grounded for a week. You laid out the terms of his being grounded (essentially he is to have no life for a week) and Randy seemed shocked and started crying and ran off to his room.  Randy was sulky the rest of the evening and was equally as miserable after school on Friday.  Randy seemed to be handling the terms of his being grounded but his attitude and misery was making everyone in the house miserable.

It is now Saturday morning and you knew this would be an especially hard day for Randy as he normally spends all day Saturday with his friends.  Randy has been especially mopey and sulky.  

You look out on the porch and see:

RANDY - 13
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Randy is not supposed to be outside at all but he is still on the porch so he may technically think he is still in the house.  He is absolutely miserable as is everyone else.

What do yo do?  Do you put Randy (and everyone else) out of  misery and offer a spanking in lieu of the grounding (adjusted for 'time served?') Is there another option?

Can you dig it?

John Boy

Obviously we need to talk. Hard to decide if his mopy attitude is helping to motivate a change... then I don't think it wise to change. We can have the conversation on the porch and end it with him being told inside the house does not include outside on the porch. We may mutually agree on a spanking but I am not sure at this time.


...And that is why we don't ground at Casa Racikov/Szymancik!!

I will call Randy inside and tell him he's back to spanking for misbehavior and depending upon his reaction, I might spring him from prison early (today). I'll let him know also that since he's a teenager (with all that implies) the seriousness of a session will be enhanced to reflect the age/size issue.

Stone Man

This type of scenario is always difficult to answer. Under these circumstances, if I really feel strongly that Randy has gone beyond "the house" I'll tell him so and escort him back inside.

He's holding up well, for what I consider to be an onerous punishment. I don't know of any boy who has ground up with spankings who would be happier with a week long grounding vs a deluxe spanking (other than a little embarrassment with friends knowing it).

I should have consulted with Randy before changing my system of punishment so extremely, unless for some reason spankings were not longer working their usual magic on him. If he requests it, at this age, I would have listened and worked things out from there.

David M. Katz

I think Stone Man is right in that this change should have been discussed with Randy.

I am torn because obviously being grounded is having an effect on him and therefore may be working. I will go out and pull up a chair next to him and we will talk.

In this case, if Randy wants to be freed in exchange for a deluxe spanking then we will do that.

I will then have the discussion about future punishments that I should have had.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


I agree we should have talked about it in advance. If spankings were still working well, there wasn't any good reason to change. But we did change, and sentence has been pronounced--and partially carried out.

I think that going back and negotiating a different punishment because he doesn't like this one is sending the wrong message. He did wrong. He knows it. Normally this type of misbehavior would have earned a "deluxe spanking". This punishment is making him miserable, and that's kind of the point. Sucks to be him.

I'm going to tell him I'm sorry he's so miserable, but that he brought this entirely on himself. He will serve the rest of his week (and if I think being on the porch is "outside", we will discuss that as well). I'm sure he'll hate me temporarily.

If he gets over his grounding, and it's had the desired effect on his behavior, that may actually be a more effective punishment now that he's a social teen than the quick, short shock of a spanking. And if the idea of a punishment is to teach a lesson so that a behavior isn't repeated, that be the way to go, even if it's less convenient for the rest of the household. If he continues to hold a grudge once he's ungrounded, we can then have a discussion about returning to spanking next time. If there IS a next time.

My answer might be different if I had an entire household of kids, but with one or two, the rest of us just may have to "take one for the team" and deal with a sulky, unhappy kid for a little while.


He/we will have to get through Saturday at least otherwise I'm not sure what message I'm sending out. That I'm a pushover? We will review this experiment later. and Randy will be allowed an input.


A punishment is supposed to hurt and this one obviously is. It seems to be hurting Randy more than a spanking would, but then it is going on for much, much longer. The down side is that the rest of the house is also being punished.

I do think I should have discussed the change of tactics with Randy and also that a week for the first time is too much.

Reckon we need that chat now and maybe I should offer him some remission if he can change his attitude for the next 24 hours.


The experimental grounding is obviously a very effective punishment and it is pleasing that Randy, even in his misery, is complying. I see no reason for continuing to punish the whole household for Randy's sin, I have my answer and the experiment can safely end.

I'm going to call Randy inside and tell him that now he's a teenager and moving towards being too big to be spanked like a little boy, that grounding and the strop will be his alternative punishments from now on. Then I'll offer him the chance to commute the rest of his sentence to what will probably be his last otk spanking.


Though I agree a week is quite a long time for the first run, he just served one day. I'm not going to change anything now. I will instead give him something to do. At first he might hate me even more, just because, but he will have something to focus on so the time is going by quicker.


I think this is bad behavior on my part for a couple of reasons. First, a week of solid grounding (as opposed to restrictions) seems pretty harsh in terms of what it's punishing (that's kind of iffy, since he did lie - the scenario makes it a bit hard to tell, but I'm guessing I believed him when he said he lied because he didn't think I'd let him go). The other thing is, I HATE when people change rules and don't bother to tell me. Maybe there's a very good reason for it, but it always seems like a huge pain and completely unfair (unless the change benefits me, of course). If I wanted to try grounding, unless there's a VERY good reason this situation calls for it, I should have warned him ahead of time and probably discussed it.

Yes, I'm going to change my mind. Randy probably won't be very happy with the change, since he's going to get a deluxe session - probably with the brush. When it's through, we'll talk about why I went with grounding and what he might get in the future, but I think we can put this one behind us.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


Editor Extraordinaire
If being on the porch is forbidden under the terms of the grounding, then I've gone too far. Grounding is meant to restrict certain activities, but depriving a person of even a few minutes of sunshine and fresh air is overkill. I think that grounding is a more appropriate punishment than spanking for Randy's behavior, and I also think that very few thirteen year olds are going to take any punishment cheerfully. My own discomfort with his reaction shouldn't determine whether or not I use a punishment, so the grounding will continue; however, I will modify the terms of the grounding so that it is reasonable. I consider not seeing his friends the main punishment, but that doesn't mean I have to make life at home as miserable as possible. He can certainly go outside. Next time he is in trouble, I will decide whether spanking or grounding better fits his offence.


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