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7 April 2014 - Payback is a Dish Best Served Cold

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Jack


Admin
Your son, Mikell, who is 14, is sitting in his room, crying.  

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When you were at your store today, for a Magic tournament, he forgot a folder of his trade stuff.  You turned around and went back for it, only to find it missing.  A couple of people remember seeing it, but it wasn't turned in, no one knows what happened to it, and no one is sure who was around or still there the last time they saw it.

This was a pretty good binder, mostly full of stuff he'd saved up and bought himself.  He'd put in a lot of work organizing it, trading stuff, and he was really proud of it.

You give him a few minutes to himself, then go in to talk to him.

"This is what I get," he says miserably.

You know what he's talking about, because he was arrested last summer for shoplifting.  He was thoroughly punished for it, but he was almost happy about that, because the worst part was not being allowed to hang out with his best friend (who was arrested with him).

You put an arm around him, and tell him that's not true, and that he's been punished for that, forgiven, and learned his lesson.

He starts crying harder.  And between sobs, he managed to admit that he stole some cards in February, when you took him and a couple of other kids to a Magic tournament.

Did he get what he deserves, or are you going to give it to him now?


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

John Boy


Sherrif
That is tough, stealing is never okay, I'm not sure if I believe Karma had a play in this. I think we will talk it out and see what his conclusion is as to what should and will happen.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

1strappedboy


Sherrif
No, and yes.

No one 'deserves' to have things stolen/taken and while I can understand him making the connection, the loss of his things does NOT mitigate the fact that he has stolen (again?).  

While softy me is tempted to allow him to see the loss as proper, realistic me knows that this needs the normal period used by our family put upon it.  The spanking won't be world class but it will be hard/long enough to make him sure that THIS was the punishment for his theft.



Last edited by 1strappedboy on Mon Apr 07, 2014 2:43 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : mispelled words)

kalico


Sherrif
Very Happy  Ditto Dimitri.....

well said



hugs kal

Stone Man


Marshall
Dimitri has handled it just fine.

ivor


Marshall
I'm inclined too think that my statute of spanking limitations has expired for a offence committed back in February.

Whatever punishment was inflicted when he was first caught shoplifting obviously didn't work since he was thieving again a few months later. It's not clear if that included a paddling, but I'm guessing it did.

I think experiencing the situation from the other side is going to make a bigger impression on him than another licking.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

MemoryMan


Sherrif
"..........You put an arm around him, and tell him that's not true, and that he's been punished for that, forgiven, and learned his lesson."

Not quite true, he hadn't learned his lesson.  His new experience as a victim, though, combined with his own, however mistaken, guilty concept of natural justice has likely taught him far more than any further discussion with you (either verbal or leather laden) could achieve.

What's needed now is a bit of understanding and (unspoken?) comfort, a continuation of that hug will be a good start.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

db105


Trailboss
I don't have the heart to punish him when he is feeling so down. I'll tell him I don't believe the two things are related, but that seeing it from the other side should make him understand why it's wrong to steal. I'll try to comfort him and tell him that material things can always be replaced, and that I'll help him start a new collection.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Danny

squarecutter


Sherrif
You know, I think he already has the message. Mikell has realised what it feels like to be the victim in a way that even a hard whipping cannot teach and that even apparently minor crimes create misery for others.. So on this occasion he will pay restitution for what he stole and the hard lesson will be well learned. I doubt he will even think of stealing again after this but god help him if he does

Kai


Deputy
Hopefully this one isn't too much real life based. Sad
I am with db105.

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm in agreement with Ivor. As rough as this experience is for Mikell, I think it will teach him empathy for the victims of theft, thus proving a more effective lesson than anything I could do. One of the dangers of punishment is the unintended message that it's okay to commit certain immoral acts as long as one is willing to pay the tariff. Without some emotional pain, i.e., guilt, punishment is not likely to effect a change in behavior.

Kat

Iconoclast


Trailboss
That is what Mikell  gets for not guarding his valuable possessions at ALL time.  You can trust some people but you do not know which ones!

Among those which you can NEVER trust are druggies and you can't tell who is a druggie by looking!  

Iconoclast

Jack


Admin
I see you found a new hobby horse, Icono.

Yes, this was based on RL. Last night, when I was ready to leave chat, I realized I didn't have a BOTD. Today is Mikell's birthday, so this one presented itself to me pretty quick.

The main difference between this and real life is that Mikell was close friends with Steve and I at this point, and he stayed with us frequently, but he wasn't living with us yet.

When this happened, Mikell had been in trouble for stealing twice. Both of them are mentioned in my story Mikell, or Random Conversations on a Car Trip. When he told me he'd stolen again, I was ready to tear him up, despite how miserable he was. He was already at his Mom's, and I had time to calm down before having a chance to spank him.

We did talk about a number of things, but I didn't spank. Despite being upset with him, I kind of agreed with Ivor - especially since he hadn't been caught, and I would never have known if he hadn't told me. As far as I know, that was the last time he ever stole anything.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

Iconoclast


Trailboss
It's not a hobby horse Jack, it's bitter experience from those few occasions I have known someone who turned out to be a druggie!

Iconoclast

LLALVA


Trailboss

Jack wrote:When this happened, Mikell had been in trouble for stealing twice. Both of them are mentioned in my story Mikell, or Random Conversations on a Car Trip. When he told me he'd stolen again, I was ready to tear him up, despite how miserable he was. He was already at his Mom's, and I had time to calm down before having a chance to spank him.

You talked a little about it in another story: JR 5: The Real Thing
http://www.bransomtx.com/jr5.html

Jack: wrote:It happened to Mikell once. I won’t go into the full story here, but how do you feel when someone you love like one of your own sons (this is before he moved in with me) is in tears because, through no fault of his own, he’s lost something that he really enjoyed, worked hard to gather, and took pride in? Simply because someone else thought they deserved what Mikell had worked for or what had been given him by his family, Mikell was devastated.

I was angry.

I love you

Hugs

Leti

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