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24 April 2014: Wednesday's Child is Full of 'No!'

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Jack


Admin
Lately, your 9-year old son, Tad

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seems to have been reverting to the terrible twos. No matter what you say to him, he comes back with some version of 'no', or he argues with you until you threaten him, or he deliberately misinterprets what you've said.

Tad has had a couple of spankings over this behavior, when he kept going after you warned him. When that didn't settle things, you put him on some light restrictions and extra chores.

Today, you got home, ready for another fight. Instead, you find that not only are all his chores, including the extras are done, that he has a couple of pieces of homework out for you to check, but he also emptied and refilled the dishwasher.

After seeing all this, you see Tad in back, with a couple of his friends. Tad knows (and has had the sore bottom to show for it), that while he's on restriction, he's not supposed to have company until you've checked his homework and chores and okayed it.

How do you let him know you're home?


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John Boy


Sherrif
I politely knock on the outside door and ask him and his friends if they want a snack. Once his friends go home, we shall discuss my rules again and see if he sits down for dinner or not.

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David M. Katz


Marshall
John Boy wrote:I politely knock on the outside door and ask him and his friends if they want a snack. Once his friends go home, we shall discuss my rules again and see if he sits down for dinner or not.

Sounds reasonable to me. No one is embarrassed and it gives Tad a chance to explain himself.


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Iconoclast


Trailboss
I will give Tad a pass as his work is ok and would not want to look like a stupid bureaucrat! Especially since I want Tad to HATE all stupid bureaucrats!!

Iconoclast

John Boy


Sherrif
I also need to find out if he "let" his friends help out with these chores I had set for him, so they could play together.

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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
Surely I haven't been allowing a nine year old to be at home on his on, so my spouse must be there. I presume she allowed him to have over visitors once he finished his chores, and suggested that he put his homework out for me. At this point she may have figured that it was better to reward Tad's good behavior rather than continue to punish his bad behavior. Let's hope that this new trend continues.

Kat

Padraig


Trailboss
That's what I thought. 9 years are way to young to stay at home alone.

Stone Man


Marshall
Kat wrote:Surely I haven't been allowing a nine year old to be at home on his on, so my spouse must be there. I presume she allowed him to have over visitors once he finished his chores, and suggested that he put his homework out for me. At this point she may have figured that it was better to reward Tad's good behavior rather than continue to punish his bad behavior. Let's hope that this new trend continues.

Kat

This makes sense on multiple fronts.

AFinch


Sherrif
As usual, Kat and I are in agreement.

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Regardless of who else is at home it would appear that Tad has had a rethink and is holding out an olive branch.

I'm going to grasp it firmly.

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ivor


Marshall
Reckon it's time for me to apply a tad of common sense. If my boy's enlisted the help of his friends to do his chores I should admire his potential entrepreneurship. Perhaps though they've all been doing their homework together? Should I start worrying about that?

Nah - let's accept what we've got which is a cooperative and happy boy and go with it.

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Kai


Deputy
Kat wrote:Surely I haven't been allowing a nine year old to be at home on his on, so my spouse must be there. I presume she allowed him to have over visitors once he finished his chores, and suggested that he put his homework out for me. At this point she may have figured that it was better to reward Tad's good behavior rather than continue to punish his bad behavior. Let's hope that this new trend continues.

Kat
Seems like my divorce lawyer may have some rest - this time Smile

Jack


Admin
Padraig wrote:That's what I thought. 9 years are way to young to stay at home alone.

As someone who stayed home alone at 9 for most of that year (fourth and fifth grade) that's not really something that occurred to me while writing this.


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squarecutter


Sherrif
I just wonder if Tad has deliberately put me on the spot. After his pals have left Tad and I will have a chat. I will thank Tad for doing the chores but remind him that while on restriction he is meant to be signed off on those BEFORE his pals come round. were they around to help out? I think I will try a trick his Uncle Jack uses and ask Tad what He thinks I should do about that. I think a couple of mild warning stingoers just to show I'm not a complete pushover and without ruining our hopefully more amicable relationship. And all provided there is none of this uncooperative attitude from Tad

StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Kat wrote:Surely I haven't been allowing a nine year old to be at home on his own, so my spouse must be there.

Stevie not only was left at home looking after himself at nine, he also looked after his baby sister as well...

Stevie.

kalico


Sherrif
I would like to agree with y'all and let this slide this once but.....

I will politely knock and ask to speak to my son in private and then ask him to please send his friends home. Once that is done we will have ourselves a chat and he will be getting a sore bottom.

I'm happy he went and did something extra so maybe when he feels better I'll let the grounding stop and he can resume his play. This is the tude he should have been displaying all along. he was restricted for not having a good one ...so I think it would be wrong to send him mixed signals by not doing anything and he did disobey something he knows he's not to do so if I want the tude to stop and him mind then I don't think he should be let off.....


Hugs kal

Jack


Admin
I think I'm going to have to go with the crowd here. On the other hand, I don't think he should be completely let off either.

The reason I've been checking his work is because he hasn't been doing it without a huge hassle, so maybe he thought that - since he'd done it and wasn't trying to get out of anything - it was okay. Maybe he didn't even think about it, or was afraid that, if he waited for me, he'd miss part of a beautiful day. Or maybe he's a modern Tom Sawyer, and he got paid for letting people whitewash the fence.

Whatever the reason is, after his friends have left, I'm going to remind him about the rule, and let him know that he should be getting a spanking. Instead, I'll tell him that, as long as he keeps working like this and getting everything done, he can have friends over after he's finished.

HOWEVER (you knew it was coming), if he has friends over when his work isn't done, he'll be getting an upgrade - so it's up to him to be careful about it.


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MemoryMan


Sherrif
Dunno what got into him but I'm still going to grab the olive branch.  If his change in attitude is genuine I'm not going to rock the boat by being less than wholehearted in my acceptance and start nit picking.  

If its not genuine then I've still got a whole arsenal of remedies to use later.

PS.  I was left alone at nine too.

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