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2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt?

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1 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Thu May 01, 2014 5:32 pm

Jack


Admin
Recently, ten-year old Colt, came to live with you.

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Colt is a pretty good kid. He's sharing the bedroom with your youngest, but he seems to prefer older company. Rules are also very important to him. He listens when you explain them, asks intelligent questions, and sometimes suggests other ways to do things - happy when you accept those ways, but not especially belligerent when you don't.

Colt has made a number of trips to the corner since moving in. It's usually been cases where you've explained a rule to him, then reminded him of it, then some corner time is the next step. That's worked so far. Despite the fact that he's a foster child, it was made fairly clear to you that light corporal punishment would be acceptable in his case, both because he was never physically abused, and because they're hoping he'll fit into your family. Colt knows that as well as you do.

Tonight, Colt has been pushing things further than he ever has before. His older brothers have a lot going on. Normally someone will make time for their younger brothers, but right now, they're all busy. Despite having that explained, Colt has continued pushing for attention. It's not something you want to put him in the corner for, but when you've tried to talk about giving respect to get respect, and what the older boys have going on, he's been argumentative.

You finally shush him.

"Colt, I understand you're frustrated right now, and it seems like you're a bit out of sorts. I'm trying to explain things to you, but you have to learn how to discuss things politely, and one thing you do not do is interupt..."

"But you keep interrupting me!"

What's the next thing you say?


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2 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Thu May 01, 2014 5:56 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
I think I need to finish explaining then tell him he earned a few swats for the outburst.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

3 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Thu May 01, 2014 6:07 pm

Padraig


Trailboss
O.k., son, explain yourself and I will not interrupt you. Then you listen what I have to say, and what comes next is entirely up to you...

4 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Thu May 01, 2014 6:12 pm

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Touché    Laughing

(The next but one could be something else)  Mad

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5 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Thu May 01, 2014 6:17 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
I'm going to tell him that I'm talking right now. He will keep quiet until I finish talking, and then I will let him talk until he's had his say, without interruption. What happens after that will depend on the conversation we have.

I can only imagine how overwhelming it would be to be placed in a new living situation with that many brothers, each of whom has a busy life.

6 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Thu May 01, 2014 6:38 pm

Iconoclast


Trailboss
I will hand Colt a great book for him to read, and I will challenge him by saying (truthfully): "This book is actually intended for High Schoolers or above but see how you like it anyway!"

Iconoclast

7 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Thu May 01, 2014 8:37 pm

1strappedboy


Sherrif
I think I'll go outside my norm which would be to go straight to Doc's answer: "I'm talking now and I'll listen to your side after". Something is telling me that there may be something perhaps bothering Colt or an issue 'above and beyond' for him so this time I'll go with Pad's version of this:

Let's hear it from you first and we'll take it from there.

I think that perhaps this will lead to a better outcome tonight.

8 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Thu May 01, 2014 9:10 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
Padraig wrote:O.k., son, explain yourself and I will not interrupt you. Then you listen to what I have to say, and what comes next is entirely up to you...

I like this approach. Even if I feel that I 'm in the right and should continue, I think giving in this little bit and making Colt first will abate some of his argumentativeness and hopefully let us settle things before they escalate.

9 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Thu May 01, 2014 11:11 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
Stone Man wrote:
Padraig wrote:O.k., son, explain yourself and I will not interrupt you. Then you listen to what I have to say, and what comes next is entirely up to you...

I like this approach. Even if I feel that I 'm in the right and should continue, I think giving in this little bit and making Colt first will abate some of his argumentativeness and hopefully let us settle things before they escalate.

I agree as well.


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10 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Fri May 02, 2014 2:15 am

ivor


Marshall
I'll point out that we are only having this conversation because he has been continually interrupting others. Then I'll tell him he can have his say to me and I'll not interrupt but after that I'm going to have my say and he'd best not interrupt me.

Hopefully my message will get through, but I suspect it is only going to delay the inevitable by a day or two. Maybe he is even pushing things to find out if I will actually spank him. Perhaps in his mind that will make him feel like he is one of the family....

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

11 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Fri May 02, 2014 2:18 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
My overnight serious answer tempts me to found an I club.

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12 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Fri May 02, 2014 4:05 am

Jack


Admin
Iconoclast wrote:I will hand Colt a great book for him to read, and I will challenge him by saying (truthfully):  "This book is actually intended for High Schoolers  or above but see how you like it anyway!"

Iconoclast

Icono, he does read on about a high school level, and he already has books to read. Unless what you're giving him is a book on manners, it doesn't seem to address the issue.


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13 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Fri May 02, 2014 6:25 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
I like padraig's approach but when he's finished and assuming he doesnt overstep I will let him know what I thin and there will be NO interruption , but I will let him know that my patience is wearing thin and what he is doing is perilously close to impertinence and insubordination. Any more unwelcome interruption of the older ones will bring another walk to the corner... and a sore bottom

14 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Fri May 02, 2014 2:35 pm

Jack


Admin
When writing this, I thought about stating that you actually hadn't interrupted Colt, except to recover when he interrupted you. However, I left that out because I wanted to see how people reacted without that much leading.

The honest truth is that if I'm sitting there, trying to calmly explain to someone how discussions should be handled, and that they shouldn't interrupt me, and then they interrupt me - I'm almost sure a spanking wouldn't occur, because I'd be too ticked off to make a fair decision about it. Said interrupter had best plan to spend the rest of the evening hiding quietly in their room, however.




This was based on a RL scenario, except I added the last line. Colt was squirming a bit, but he was quiet as I laid out the rules for talking to someone else (as I mentioned - he's very interested in rules). He did have some questions afterwards, but he was polite about it, so we never got to this point. He also gave up harassing the older boys and sat down next to me and read until time for him to get ready for bed.


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
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15 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Fri May 02, 2014 3:02 pm

kalico


Sherrif
Very Happy  I was inline with Ivor on this one....

 cheers  Colt, smart kido that one....LOL



hugs kal

16 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Sat May 03, 2014 8:53 am

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I agree with Padraig. I think the impression he is being interrupted may be as important as the reality. He can have his say.

Kat

17 Re: 2 May 2014 - Hard Head! Soft Butt? on Sat May 03, 2014 2:25 pm

Jack


Admin
Kat wrote:I agree with Padraig. I think the impression he is being interrupted may be as important as the reality. He can have his say.

Kat

That's a very good point, Kat. Even with adults, perception matters at least as much as reality, and my experience is that's moreso for kids.


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
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