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BOTD 5/6/14 "It's My Party And I'll do What I Want to" A DMK Production

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David M. Katz


Marshall
IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL DO WHAT I WANT TO
A DMK Production

Your son, Isaac, just turned fourteen.  Today is the day of his birthday party.  This is the first boy/girl mixed party that you have hosted for Isaac.

ISAAC - 14
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One of your rules for the party is that there are to be no girls in the bedroom/personal living areas of the house.  

Isaac sort of has an interest in a young lady he goes to school with and she is invited to and attends the party.

The party gets started and all is going well.  There are about twenty-five thirteen to fifteen year olds attending. You and your spouse and your spouse's parents along with three parents of attendees are also present to help chaperone things.  The kids are in the den and spilled out on the patio.  The music is playing and everyone is bouncing and dancing around and stuffing themselves with the hot-dogs your father-in-law is grilling. Basically everyone is having a good time.

You look around and note that Isaac is no where among the partiers. You go back to Isaac's room and hear giggling and talking coming from his room.  The door is slightly opened and so you go in.  You see Isaac and his young lady friend sitting on his bed.  The two are holding hands and talking and giggling.

Your response?



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Jack


Admin
I remind Isaac that the party is for him, so he should be out there playing host.

Later, probably tomorrow, we're going to talk about his disobedience. I will probably remind him of why I have rules like that, and then he's going to have to do some fast talking to keep from getting... considering he's 14 now, and that this was direct disobedience, but not anything truly horrible, his choice or 3 on boxers or 2 bare with the Lexan. I want him to not get in the habit of thinking he can do what he wants, but I also don't want to make a huge deal about it.


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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I remind them politely but firmly what the rule is and stand there until they leave. I'll have a word with Ike in private later on about my reason for the rule, as well as explain that if he won't respect it, he won't have girls over at all. I don't particularly object to his having a girl in his room, when she is the only guest and there is a parent home to chaperone, i.e., quietly check up on them from time to time with offers of snacks. A party situation, however, needs broader rules about boundaries.

Kat

db105


Trailboss
OK, since the door is open I won't disturb them. I know that he is breaking the rules, but sometimes you have to be flexible, and talking to girls at that age is difficult enough without me barging in. From time to time I'll check to make sure the door remains open.

After the party I'll talk with him and set new rules (the door needs to remain open, and no girls when parents are not there).

I'll tell him I understand the circumstances and that's why I didn't interrupt him and I'm not going to punish him this time, but that he should not push his luck with
the new rules.

Editing: After reading the previous responses, I'll add that if I think his guests are starting to miss the host of the party I'll interrupt them and ask him to attend to his guests.

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MemoryMan


Sherrif
The door is open.

I'll just pop my head in and remind him he should really be attending to ALL his guests, then leave him to come down on his own volition without loss of face.  He'll probably delay a minute or two, but he'll soon come down.

Later we'll have a talk - just a talk.

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Iconoclast


Trailboss
MemoryMan wrote:The door is open.

I'll just pop my head in and remind him he should really be attending to ALL his guests, then leave him to come down on his own volition without loss of face.  He'll probably delay a minute or two, but he'll soon come down.

Later we'll have a talk - just a talk.

I agree!

Iconoclast

Padraig


Trailboss
Ditto :-)

squarecutter


Sherrif
I agree with MM and if he complies with good grace will leave it at that.The last thing I want is to ruin his special day

StevieWeeks


Trailboss
One of your rules for the party is that there are to be no girls in the bedroom/personal living areas of the house.


Um... suppose one of the young ladies needs to err... um... powder her nose and all???

Stevie. Twisted Evil 

Stone Man


Marshall
I will mention to my son that he does need to be attentive to his other guests, and make no mention of his direct disobedience.

Later tonight or on the morrow, Issac and I will revisit his ignoring the rules for the party. I will let him know I understand his desire to have a private conversation with the young lady, but will add to that my concerns I have for his and his friend's well being.

As direct disobedience is involved, Issac will be in for a spanking with a few moderate strop licks, enough to make him feel he has paid for his error.

David M. Katz


Marshall
StevieWeeks wrote:
One of your rules for the party is that there are to be no girls in the bedroom/personal living areas of the house.


Um... suppose one of the young ladies needs to err... um... powder her nose and all???

Stevie. Twisted Evil 

In the powder room off of the den.


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David M. Katz


Marshall
This happened to Nathaniel's friend Isaac over the past weekend.

There is a twist that will be the subject of tomorrow's BOTD.

I will fill in "the rest of the story" after tomorrow's BOTD has been answered.


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AFinch


Sherrif
I agree with most of the rest. I think redirecting Isaac (and the girl) is adequate without a need for any punishment, even "stingoors". Discussion about the reason for the rules is reasonable, but I think anything more is overkill.

ivor


Marshall
I'm tagging along behind MM and his camp followers.  Smile 

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kalico


Sherrif
I'm inline with jack and stony!

Like the rest of you I'll pop my head in and tell him he has other guests he needs to attend and that they both need to come out. After the party we will talk about him breaking the rules but like jack and Stoney nothing record breaking...

I feel that we need to address this as I'm sure that this won't be the only party he's going to want to have and if I'm going to let him have others then I need to be able to trust him to follow that rule..If I let this slide then why even have the rule... And he will think he can repeat this.


Hugs kal

Jack


Admin
Kal (and Stevie), I actually have similar rules. I'm very lucky in the size of my house, and I'm able to lay things out where the girls aren't allowed upstairs - reserving those bathrooms for the boys, and the downstairs and my bedroom for the ladies. Unless it's Christmas or bad weather, that's always worked out. Of course, with another house, things might have to be different.


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StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Stevie isn't rich like you guys and his houses only have one bathroom: it was upstairs in Oshawa, while it's beside the bedroom in his current house and all...

Stevie.

kalico


Sherrif
I also have the same rules that's why I felt that it needed to be addressed. All my kids bedrooms are up stairs and I have a half bath down pluss mine and if people are desperate then I have the pool house.

They were not found in the bathroom but in his room!


Hugs kal

Kittykat


Deputy
Well, coming from someone who was a teen mom I have a different view. I'm going to stick my head in and remind them the party is downstairs, and once it's over and the guests have left Ike and I will have a talk (And a separate talk with dad about the birds and bees if we haven't already covered that) And he will be warned that this best not happen again.

John Boy


Sherrif
do the fake oops. Polity remind the rules of the party give Issac the look and deal with him later.

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