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26 May 2014 - Dad's Home/Three Weeks Early

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1 26 May 2014 - Dad's Home/Three Weeks Early on Sun May 25, 2014 5:12 pm


You've been gone for most of three days now, so you could be with Ryan and enjoy his graduation performance and ceremony. You get home late Saturday evening, after a long day. You're just in time to tuck the littles in and say good night to them. You visit with your older boys.

Finally, you're able to break free and grab a shower. You're just about ready to collapse for the evening when Bobby joins you. Bobby was mostly in charge for the time you were gone, with a bit of help from two of his older brothers. He explains to you some troubles that he had with the other boys.

In general, things went okay. The problem is that many of the younger boys were rather lackadaisical about their chores, and came close to outright disobedience when it came to doing them. They and their older brothers tended to push the limits on right up to the line. Bobby has been away at school for the last couple of years, doesn't know some of his newer brothers that well, and decided it would be better to wait and talk to you, rather than spanking.

Since nothing life threatening occurred, you can agree with him.

In specific, Noah called and begged you for an extension of his curfew Friday night. You gave it to him, but he still didn't get home on time (it was only about 5 minutes late, but after he promised you he'd be home not one second after 1am).

Clayton also missed his curfew, but it was his regular curfew, and he was only about fifteen minutes late. You'd normally allow that one to slide, except that Clay has just recently been under some pretty strict restrictions, and he's still 'earning trust' on things like that.

Johnny was home before curfew. The problem is that he left the movie, then decided to go for ice cream before coming home, and he, Ethan, and a couple of his friends didn't bother to let anyone know, which is a violation of standard protocol.

More personally to you, very few people are allowed in your library without permission. Van, because of his interest in music, is one of those. He's allowed to have up to 5 CDs out at a time. When you got home, he had more than thirty, and they were spread between the piano downstairs, his bedroom, and the garage, where they rehearse together.

Because it's a three day weekend, and because finals start Tuesday, you fill that any type of grounding or driving restriction on Noah would either be ineffective (since you're having tons of kids and family over the next couple of days), ridiculously harsh (if you made him stay home next Friday, which is graduation, and you know he's already been invited to several parties), or would cause a ton of problems (driving restrictions). With that in mind, you're aiming at giving him three swats bare, with an explanation of why you're so unhappy with his behavior.

For the same reasons, you decide to give Clay about the same thing - probably slightly lighter.

Because Johnny hasn't had any major driving-related trouble prior to this, you're leaning towards a stern lecture and a slight restriction. Ethan will probably get the burning ears about not calling, but nothing else.

And while an early adolescent, 12-year old like Van is a delight to spank, you feel that grounding him from your library for a week, after he has to refile what he's borrowed and checked to make sure everything else is in it's right place, would teach a more appropriate lesson.

As for the general troubles, you decide that, after breakfast in the morning, you're going to let all the boys know that you'll do a full room inspection in two hours, and that anyone not achieving an 'A' standard (not quite perfect), with all chores done, will be spanked/paddled (depending on age).

With all that settled in your mind, you role over and go to sleep.

You get a good night's sleep, not waking in the middle of the night like you normally do, and even sleeping in a bit.

When you finally awake, Sunday morning, a lot of the boys are already up and moving. Not realizing how much trouble they're about to be in, they're all very excited to have you back home. They're even getting breakfast ready, and asking if all of you can eat out on the patio.

Generally speaking, you'd rather eat breakfast inside at this time of year, thanks to the 88% humidty before the sun gets going, but you finally agree to it. They promise to get things set up, while you get a quick shower.

A few minutes later, clean and dressed, you go outside to see...

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Well, maybe not that bad, but it's all your boys --- including the Naval Officer who told you he wouldn't be able to get leave for another couple of weeks --- as well as both your daughter-in-laws and all your grandkids. When you walk through the door, they all yell, "Happy Father's Day."

While it is just a bit early, they point out that on the actual Father's Day, you'll be coming back from the beach and dropping most of the kids at summer camp. They decided to get you when you could all get together.

As you're hugging and saying hello, you start to look around, and you realize a few things. Your patio has been power washed. The back of the garage (the part that faces into the back yard) and the gazebo have been painted nicely, matte white with green trim for the garage and rose for the gazebo. Your summer lawn furniture has been dug out, cleaned, the paint touched up where appropriate, and much of it seems to have new cushions - in green, blue, and rose. And finally you get a look at the pool: the far corner of it now has a 'rock' water fall, like you've been talking about adding for years.

Before you can finish admiring everything, you're pushed into a chair and a plate is handed to you. You spend the next 45 mintues chatting, catching up, thanking people, and being stuffed with much wonderful food.

Finally, breakfast is over, and it's time for the announcements you'd planned to make. Are you going with it as written, or should a few, quick changes be made?

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


I'd never have the heart to go through with the lecture as planned.

I'm going to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart, and later have individual words with the guilty parties that will remain just words. I know that in real life doing something else that's nice isn't a mitigating factor, but this is a household, not a court of law, and I'd feel like an ogre busting anyone after this display.

John Boy

I am torn, I say I need to talk it over with the rule breakers and see if they talk their way into or out of the small trouble they are in. As for the chores well we shall see...


The list of announcements go unannounced, into the memory hole!



Gosh your crew know how to make this hard....

I'm with kier and JB .... I do think they need to be and held accountable or it will undermine bobby if he is left incharge.... They need to mind but I think this time a serious talking to and if this ever happens again they will get it good.....

On a good note....  cheers  great job boys!

What a great bunch of kido's you raised and are raising ....hugs


Hugs kal


Well, I don't think I would consider a break of curfew by 5 minutes (or even 15 minutes) as punishable offenses, but on the other hand, I just have two nephews and the occasional neighbour boy at my hands a couple of weeks each year and not two whole football teams as family...

Seriously, maybe I'll going to check a room or two later that day, but I don't think I will spoil that day in any way.

7 Re: 26 May 2014 - Dad's Home/Three Weeks Early on Sun May 25, 2014 11:08 pm

Stone Man

After lots of praise and thank-yous and hugs and the like, when things are quieted down it will be time to talk with the "problem" boys. There is nothing particularly embarrassing that they did, so I plan on meeting with all of them at the same time.

As has been pointed out, the main reason I even feel the need of a meeting, is to not undermine Bobby's or another older "boy's" authority. I hope they all realize they ought to go and apologize to him for not making it easy on him.

I think that some swats are in order for a couple of the boys, or maybe all of them; but I want our meeting to decide what they feel is fair, and then I can cut it back some, as I find that my boys will over punish themselves because they really are sorry for their poor behavior.

David M. Katz

As usual I will just Ditto Kier.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.



10 Re: 26 May 2014 - Dad's Home/Three Weeks Early on Mon May 26, 2014 4:11 am


Padraig wrote:Well, I don't think I would consider a break of curfew by 5 minutes (or even 15 minutes) as punishable offenses...

As I said in the scenario, this was mainly due to it happening under unusual circumstances; i.e. - when Bobby was in charge, when Noah had begged for extra time and promised not to be late, and when Clayton was just coming off some pretty strict restrictions. It was also accented by the upcoming week, which would make the normal restrictions I use either ineffective, too harsh, or disruptive to everyone.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

11 Re: 26 May 2014 - Dad's Home/Three Weeks Early on Mon May 26, 2014 7:14 am


I think I would ditto Stone Man

12 Re: 26 May 2014 - Dad's Home/Three Weeks Early on Mon May 26, 2014 8:51 am

Pi Beta

Words only in these circumstances BUT with a "suspended sentence" - a promise that if they fall foul of me again for the same offence within the next week/two weeks/month, they will get an enhanced punishment over and above what I would normally have given.

I would then hope desperately that they won't do a repeat in that time, but if they do, the enhancement WILL be imposed!

13 Re: 26 May 2014 - Dad's Home/Three Weeks Early on Mon May 26, 2014 9:03 am


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm with Kier.


14 Re: 26 May 2014 - Dad's Home/Three Weeks Early on Mon May 26, 2014 2:21 pm


Kat wrote:I'm with Kier.

So was I. At least for the most part.

First of all, let me clarify that this is RL, though I did leave out some superfluous details, since it was already reaching novel length.

Like Kier, despite the fact that 'sorry' isn't good enough, it would take a harder heart than mine to have come down on the boys right then.

I did come down on them - just a bit - later.

Noah was the easiest. He'd been honest when I asked if he'd made it home on time, and he understood why I was unhappy with him. He explained that the main reason he was late, was that he let Blake talk him into dropping Blake's lady friend off, then taking Blake home, which pretty much meant driving back and forth across town. He hadn't known how to refuse gracefully, so I just suggested asking Blake if he'd be willing to risk being late after what I'd said. Since Blake has been over my lap much more recently than Noah, I think Blake would have agreed.

I explained to him what I'd considered fair, omitting that I'd decided to paddle him. Since those ideas didn't work out, I suggested a heart felt apology to me and Bobby, along with washing our cars, would probably be enough this time.

Since Johnny isn't able to take other riders, beyond his brothers, with him yet, I don't rely on him as much as the older boys. With that in mind, he's grounded from driving for three days. It will be a bit inconvenient for him, but the parties here today, and he's going to be studying the next few nights, so it's not really more than a token.

Clayton's curfew is moved up an hour until school ends (which means through Thursday night).

The other boys did have room inspections today. I talked with the trouble makers about their chores, and how they acted with Bobby, and I'll be adjusting the chore chart to show who will have to be very careful for the next week or two.

Van is grounded from my library, though he can still ask me to get things.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

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