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BOTD 5/28/14 "Two Boys, Two Perspectives" A Late Chat Production

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David M. Katz


Marshall
TWO BOYS, TWO PERSPECTIVES
A Late Chat Production

Mauro is twelve.  Yesterday Mauro said he had no homework and spent all afternoon outside playing and all evening with his video games.  He went to bed on time and figured it was no big deal that he didn't do his homework.  Mauro's teacher thought it was a big deal and Mauro had to miss his recess period and do this:

MAURO - 12
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Mauro's parents are unaware of the homework issue or the resulting punishment.

Franky is also twelve and is Mauro's classmate.  Franky just got a phone.  He loves his phone; especially the camera. Students are not allowed to have their phones out during school hours at Franky's and Mauro's school.


FRANKY - 12
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Franky had to come in from recess period to use the restroom and dropped by the classroom and snapped the above picture of Mauro.  Franky posted the picture on Facebook.  In the comments section Franky described how Mauro got in trouble but also added it was a close call for him as well as he almost got caught with his phone out.

Mauro's parents and Franky's parents happen to see the posted photo and the comments that evening.

1.  You are Mauro's parent - how do you respond to your son?

2.  You are Franky's parent - how do you respond to your son?


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David M. Katz


Marshall
Mauro - Put him on homework checklists that both the teacher and I sign/initial. Spank him for lying.

Franky - The phone lives with me for a week.


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John Boy


Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote:Mauro - Put him on homework checklists that both the teacher and I sign/initial.  Spank him for lying.

Franky - The phone lives with me for a week.
Well said well said.

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Jack


Admin
Mauro - Unless I'm extremely sure of when this happened and exactly what he told me/what I asked, I'm not going to punish him. He will be going on strict homework checks for a while.

Franky - from what he says, he knew he wasn't supposed to have the phone out, but I don't really see recess as school time. We'll talk about it. He's also taking that picture down. If I spank him, it'll be because I'm unhappy with this, which strikes me as teasing someone in their misfortune.


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Padraig


Trailboss
I like Jack's solution, though I probably would have gone with DMK's.

AFinch


Sherrif
I'm going to agree with both DMK and Jack.

Mauro lied about doing his homework and got caught. He's getting spanked for lying, and will be on strict homework checks for the foreseeable future.

I don't see having his phone out at recess as interfering with school time. Taking and posting that photo, however, is VERY mean spirited. The picture is coming down and the phone is staying with me for a week. And we'll discuss how, when I was a kid, if you saw someone who fell in the street, you went over and helped them out rather than taking a camera phone picture and posting it on facebook/instagram for everyone to jeer at. There were plenty of problems in "the olden days", but generally, I think people tended to look out for each other more then.

Stone Man


Marshall
The joy of preteens - they know enough to get into trouble but don't think the adults in their lives will ever catch them. This is a good lesson in how problematic posting to Facebook or the like can be.

I'm presuming I asked Mauro about his homework and he lied to me. If I hadn't asked and therefore had not been lied to I'd have let the school's punishment stand and only given Mauro a tongue lashing. As it is, I will spank Mauro for lying, and start a homework check till the end of this year.

As Franky's Dad, I'm not at all happy about his posting of Mauro's picture. We will talk it over until I think my boy understands the problems posting can cause, and I'll keep his camera for a few days. When I hear about Mauro being spanked I'll present that info to Franky and see if he's rather be without his camera for another week or get spanked much like Mauro had been.

This somewhat changes if both parent sets are close friends and talk this over amongst themselves before confronting the boys with their knowledge.

ivor


Marshall
It is clearly stated in the scenario that Mauro said he had no homework. Whether he volunteered that information to me or said it in response to a question is irrelevant. Either way he lied. So he'll get whatever punishment I normally apply for that.

As for Frankie, well what constitutes 'school hours'. I'd say all of the time he is under the care of the school which thus includes recess, unless of course the school rules say otherwise. Presumably though they don't since Frankie was concerned about being caught taking the picture.

Perhaps I should use his camera to take a picture of his butt after I've spanked it and post that on Facebook?  Twisted Evil 

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Jack


Admin
ivor wrote:It is clearly stated in the scenario that Mauro said he had no homework. Whether he volunteered that information to me or said it in response to a question is irrelevant. Either way he lied. So he'll get whatever punishment I normally apply for that.

It does say that, but if I'm not running a homework folder, and I just see this picture on Facebook, there would be a LOT of uncertainty about what happened when (and unless this is all happening the very next day, I probably wouldn't even be sure of if I had asked him or what he'd said, unless I do it the same way every day, and even then, how would I be sure of if it was the day he said he had no homework, and even then, would I know he lied or just forgot?).

Because of all that uncertainty, I'd be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt about lying, and I'd be willing to accept the school's punishment with just an added talk.

If he admitted to lying to me about it, then I'd have the confession to way against it, and I'd still be inclined not to spank (unless this was a recurring problem - lying or homework either one).


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ivor


Marshall
I'm not looking to get into a fight, but it do also say:

Mauro's parents and Franky's parents happen to see the posted photo and the comments that evening.



That indicates to me that they saw the photo on the day it was both taken and posted. If it didn't say 'that evening' then I agree it could be some time afterwards, but as it does........

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squarecutter


Sherrif
1 Mauro lied to me about the homework. The school dealt with the undone homework, but I must take care of the lie. Mauro will be paddled. If we get a repeat of the lie and undone homework I will use the belt.

2 Do unto others as they say. I am guessing the phone mustn't be used in class. Else why ave the phone there at all. It is not that he used the phone in recess which would be for school to deal with but the way it was used. I will be t
confiscating the phone for a week and suspending Frankies Facebook account till further notice. These things will not be used this way in this house. I will also be informing the teacher and will not stand in the way of reasonable school consequences

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
They are both getting spanked: Mauro for lying to me and Frankie for not only having the phone out at school but using it in a particularly nasty way.

Kat

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Agreed!

They have both earned some quality time over Dad's knee. Not necessarily the spanking of the century but well done enough to make them avoid these behaviors in the (at least near term) future.

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