Bransom, TX

a discussion place for our web site


You are not connected. Please login or register

BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1 BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:14 pm

Skater


Bransom Postmaster
Jordan and the Clods

Your son Jordan is 11 years old. You have sent him to his room because you intend to give him a spanking for throwing dirt clods at a neighbors house after he'd been warned to stop. (and made to help clean up)


Jordan
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]



Jordan tells you that his friends don't get spanked and it's not fair because some of them where throwing clods too. In fact none of his clods even hit the old mans house. He wants to be grounded instead!

Does he still get spanked?


_________________
Can you dig it?
http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Skater

2 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Sat Jun 07, 2014 8:21 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
The time to discuss appropriate punishments is not when you're about to be punished.

I will tell Jordan so. I will also let him know that we can discuss grounding for the future, but be careful what you wish for. The spanking, although unpleasant, will be over in a few minutes. He'd be grounded for at least a week--no friends, no electronics, no TV, no life.

Life isn't fair. And he wouldn't have to be spanked OR grounded if he'd not thrown dirt clods again after being warned not to.

3 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Sun Jun 08, 2014 2:12 am

ivor


Marshall
I agree with Kier. This discussion should have happened before now as Jordan knew what would happen for any transgression not just clod throwing.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

4 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Sun Jun 08, 2014 2:43 am

Padraig


Trailboss
First of all it wasn't only the throwing but the disobedience.

I'm with Kier, too.

5 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Sun Jun 08, 2014 4:19 am

Jack


Admin
1) Throwing dirt clods at someone's property isn't acceptable.

2) He was warned to stop.

3) In our house - boys get spankings.

We can discuss this first, but he's getting spanked. If he wants to try something else in the future, we can discuss it. I can't control what happens to the other boys, and they're not my responsibility. On the other hand, I might offer to call their dads and see how they do get punished.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

6 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Sun Jun 08, 2014 7:05 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
I am less than happy with his attitude. So the old mans house got didn't get hit and that makes it alright does it. Question  He gets spanked very hard and if he carries on arguing he can try out grounding as well. I am sure he will be grateful if we find some of his friends are out of circulation for a week. I don't care too much if he was the only one who got caught but of course if wishes to tell me which ones they were then maybe I can call their Dads if that would make Jordan feel better. Or may be not.

7 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Sun Jun 08, 2014 8:25 am

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
Perhaps the best time to discuss changing punishments is before one is in trouble, but realistically, how likely is that to happen? Kids live in the moment. Very few of them at age 11 are capable of thinking out their arguments and seeking a good time to discuss them. I'm going to discuss this with Jordan now because I feel punishments are ineffective and even counterproductive if the person who receives them feels hard done by. I suspect that Jordan is upset not only that he is getting spanked when he thinks his friends are beyond that particular punishment, but also because he is the only one being punished. I expect at least some of his friends pressured him to disobey me, so I want him to learn how to withdraw from a situation without appearing a prig to the others. I may or may not agree to substitute grounding for spanking this time. My decision will depend on how the discussion with Jordan goes. He may feel differently about the spanking when he considers what grounding will mean. The main purpose of the punishment in my view is for him to feel he has paid a fair price for his misbehavior.

Kat

8 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Sun Jun 08, 2014 9:04 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
Jack wrote:1) Throwing dirt clods at someone's property isn't acceptable.

2) He was warned to stop.

3) In our house - boys get spankings.

We can discuss this first, but he's getting spanked.  If he wants to try something else in the future, we can discuss it.  I can't control what happens to the other boys, and they're not my responsibility.  On the other hand, I might offer to call their dads and see how they do get punished.
Ditto Kier and Jack.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

9 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Sun Jun 08, 2014 10:09 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
Kat wrote: He may feel differently about the spanking when he considers what grounding will mean. The main purpose of the punishment in my view is for him to feel he has paid a fair price for his misbehavior.

Kat

And I feel that grounding has too high a price tag associated with it for most (including this one) offenses of an eleven year old boy.

10 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Mon Jun 09, 2014 7:03 am

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
Stone Man wrote:And I feel that grounding has too high a price tag associated with it for most (including this one) offenses of an eleven year old boy.

But isn't what he feels more important? I won't say it's a good idea to allow a child to decide his own punishments, but if he has input, he'll likely accept them better. He may need to experience a grounding to understand why you consider spanking a better punishment for him, but if you make unilateral decisions, he may very well decide you are being arbitrary. I also have to say that the parent determines the length and conditions of a grounding, so there is plenty of room for tailoring a grounding to the offence and the kid. By the age of 11, most boys should be able to tolerate a couple of days of restriction. Both a spanking and a grounding should be aversive, but neither should be so aversive as to constitute cruelty. I think it's best to avoid dogmatic stances about the superiority of one punishment over another. Usually any punishment used with consistency and applied with reason can be effective. When we complain about the cruel nature of grounding, we seem to forget that we set the terms. We can restrict a kid's social life, for instance, which he will feel, but we don't have to restrict his activity.

Kat

11 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Mon Jun 09, 2014 2:46 pm

Jack


Admin
WIthout bothering to quote...

I think part of it probably comes from our own experience. We all know how it was for us as kids, and it's hard not to project that on our own kids. On the other hand, if any of my younger ones were to ask why I didn't ground them, I'd simply tell them their big brothers ruined that for them, so they should take it up with them.

I think Kat has some very good points, and I would probably be willing to agree with him in some cases. In this case, however, Jordan was specifically told to quit what he was doing. By disobeying, I feel like he walked into this with open eyes, and it's a bit late to be suffering buyers remorse.

Or consider it like this, "Hey, Dad? I'm about to disobey you and throw clods at that house again, but I really don't want a spanking. Would you ground me instead?"


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

12 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Mon Jun 09, 2014 6:21 pm

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Kat wrote:Perhaps the best time to discuss changing punishments is before one is in trouble, but realistically, how likely is that to happen? Kids live in the moment. Very few of them at age 11 are capable of thinking out their arguments and seeking a good time to discuss them. I'm going to discuss this with Jordan now because I feel punishments are ineffective and even counterproductive if the person who receives them feels hard done by. I suspect that Jordan is upset not only that he is getting spanked when he thinks his friends are beyond that particular punishment, but also because he is the only one being punished. I expect at least some of his friends pressured him to disobey me, so I want him to learn how to withdraw from a situation without appearing a prig to the others. I may or may not agree to substitute grounding for spanking this time. My decision will depend on how the discussion with Jordan goes. He may feel differently about the spanking when he considers what grounding will mean. The main purpose of the punishment in my view is for him to feel he has paid a fair price for his misbehavior.

Kat

This makes good sense in terms of ensuring 'effective' punishment; a fair price paid that doesn't leave the kid fell ill done. I will run with this for Jordan as well.

Kat where the devil were you as a dad when I was a kid?!? Laughing 

13 Re: BOTD 06-08-2014 Jordan and the Clods on Mon Jun 09, 2014 8:24 pm

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
1strappedboy wrote:Kat where the devil were you as a dad when I was a kid?!? Laughing 

I was a kid too. Laughing

Kat

Sponsored content


View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum