It's not the boy's fault, not at all. Nor is it the fault of my ex. At 14, he is old enough to have ear rings, if he want. It is my fault that I failed in explaining to him why I didn't want him to have them.
But most importantly it's not the boy's fault that we are not living thgether as a family anymore. That happens, that's life, no question. But if he is the one having to live at two homes, who am I to blame him for trying to get the best out of it? It might not even been intended, maybe they just walked past a piercing shop or the topic came up at the breakfast table or while watching TV. So if you are 14 and want something, and your mother allows it, would you say to her "but Dad said no"?
No, that is not time for punishment, but time for me to wake up and talk to my son from father to teenager. If I want him to respect me and my authority I should respect him and his wishes and choices. He is still a boy, so he still needs a lot of guidance and support, probably more than ever, as he is growing up fast.