Bransom, TX

a discussion place for our web site


You are not connected. Please login or register

BOTD 9/17/14 "Shocked Beyond Belief" A Stevie Weeks Production

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

David M. Katz


Marshall
Shocked Beyond Belief
A Stevie Weeks Production

Last month there was a very high profile teenage suicide that occurred  in your son's high school. A young sixteen year old boy jumped from an overpass onto Highway 400 during rush hour. The resulting pileup closed the highway for hours and resulted in several people being badly injured as well as the youngster: who was killed when a transport ran over him. This, of course, could not be hushed up and the incident made headlines across the province, and was reported on national television; resulting in a full investigation of the circumstances by both the Provincial Police and the RCMP.

The investigation found that the boy had been mercilessly bullied by his classmates at the high school and in his neighborhood;  made worse by the fact that one of the teachers, the lad's P.E. instructor, was complicit in the bullying. The major reason for this was that the boy was gay; he'd managed to attract the attention of the school's football team when he was caught eyeing the quarterback in the locker room during his gym class. The members of the team were remorseless in the pursuit of the youngster and were, in fact, chasing him along the road with intent when he jumped off the overpass.

Focused by the media attention, there have been a series of explosions within the local school system... several staff members have been suspended pending completion of the police investigations and any subsequent legal actions. The boys involved have been expelled from school, and several of them are awaiting charges; two of the boys who have been determined as being ringleaders are awaiting a court appearance aimed at charging as adults instead of under the Young Offender's Act because of the seriousness of the offence and the fact that they are both nearly eighteen.

Your son, Justin, is fourteen and in grade nine... as such, he had no contact with any of the boys involved beyond seeing them around the school; he certainly had no part in the bullying. He, as have all of his classmates, have had some counselling regarding the incident, and anti - harassment measures among them have been stepped up sharply, but for your boy, life has pretty much continued as usual. You did speak to him about the incident, and you hope that your long held and frequently expressed views about homophobia have penetrated... you have several gay friends that you have been close to since your own high school days, even though you yourself are pretty unambiguously heterosexual.

One weekend, you are repairing a broken light fixture in your garage while your son and a group of his friends are hanging around on the patio having Gatorades... they are not aware that you are in a position to hear what they are saying. It's not in your nature to eavesdrop, but suddenly you hear the word "faggot" being spoken loudly and forcefully by one of the boys... this disturbs you and you stop what are doing to listen more carefully.

"Well, yeah... he was just a f***ing faggot... I can't understand why they're making such a big deal about it and punishing our gym teacher for it. He was a G******n queer... he deserved to die... it was his choice to be a pervert and shouldn't have been allowed go to school with us normal kids.  I posted that on his brother's f***ing memorial Facebook page this morning... it's about time someone stood up to those f***ing queers, anyway."

Shocked beyond belief, you recogise the voice as belonging to your son's best friend Robert... a youngster you've known for nearly all his life and who has grown up with Justin from preschool years. You've never really been warm to Robert, and you can't stand the boy's father, but you never expected this from him. While you stand there in the garage, shaking with anger, you wait for your son, or one of the other lads, to at least demur from the views expressed, but all you hear is muted agreement.


Justin
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Robert
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

What do you do now?


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=David+M.+Katz

David M. Katz


Marshall
I am going to send Robert and the other boys home and will tell them in no uncertain terms why. It will be a cold day in a hot place before Robert is welcome at my home again.

Justin and I are then going to have a serious chat. Does he really feel this way? Was he just agreeing out of peer pressure? Does he know about me?

We will then need to talk about respect and acceptance and diversity.

I won't spank him and probably will not punish him at all. I don't see that will do any good. I hope my serious talk gets through to him.


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=David+M.+Katz

squarecutter


Sherrif
What a sad story and sadlyu not an isolated one. 

My concern with your approach David is that a Father may just turn the heat on his own son with that approach. At best Robert and Justin may not be friends but  Bullies are always looking for the next victim. I think it will roll till I can talk to Justin alone and try to gauge his true feelings. If I get a hint that he is thinking the same way and worse still if he putting it out on Facebook and the like it will be a longer talk and I will be taking his page down. I cannot control his opinions and certainly not by spanking for them but while I am paying the bills I will do my best to control what emanates from this household. I will also warn him that Robert better be careful what he says in my hearing.

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
As sad as this would make me, I'm not really surprised. Most adolescents are so insecure that they will go along with horrible things to fit in with their peers. Also, the fate of the poor boy who jumped is a poignant message to other kids that being gay will meet with social stigmatization and violence. These wouldn't be the first kids to spew hateful words or participate in hateful acts because they fear non-conformity will result in their own victimization. I think the proper thing to do is enter the conversation myself and call the boys out. I'd like at least to get them thinking. With adolescents, if you can get them to think long enough to abandon their herd mentality, it sometimes works wonders. Rather than refusing to allow Robert in my home, I will try to counteract whatever negative influences have shaped his homophobia. However, I will also make it clear that I won't tolerate such speech in my home.

Kat

David M. Katz


Marshall
Good points. I will back off on the Robert ban but will make sure he knows such talk is not allowed in my home. Yes, perhaps I can reach him whereas he is probably hearing this at home.


_________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=David+M.+Katz

Iconoclast


Trailboss
The more people who carry guns the less bullying there will be!

But should high school students be allowed to carry guns?

The Constitution guarantees the right to "keep and bear arms", and when it was written many States defined the militia as "all male citizens having attained the age of 14 years less then 67";so yes!

Iconoclast

Jack


Admin
Actually, I'm going to do something that I'm normally vehemently against - I'm going to turn my silver tongue, quick wit, and love of reading against Robert as he attempts to justify his views. I will try not to humiliate him too much, but I am going to make it clear that there is no such thing as a 'normal person' and the only people who think other people 'deserve to die' are those who are insecure in themselves and scared of everything.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

kalico


Sherrif
For a child of this age to act like this you know it has to come from his up bringing...Dad most likely, as it states you don't like the dad of Robert....

I will tell Robert that that kind of talk is not allowed in my house and that if he wants to continue to speak like that he is leaving. I don't think I will harp to much on my son about this as we just went over the whole bully thing just before.....as long as it was not him speaking like this.

I don't think I should let them not be friends but I will let my son know that if he goes along with stuff like that he will be caught in the fire...so maybe he needs to start standing up for what he believes and not go along with what his friends think.....


hugs kal

1strappedboy


Sherrif
I am certainly not punishing my boy, though I am rather disappointed with him at the moment. I suspect that when we talk about this it will be a matter of 'going along to get along'. Those of us who have mid-teen kids all know the tremendous pressure there is to be 'with the in-crowd'. Right now, the in-crowd is his group of friends. I may suggest that he re-evaluate his circle of friends. In R/L I have always expected the kids to at the minimum be respectful toward those who are different than us and by and large, they are.

There's a big piece of me that loves Jack's response to this, only I would slay the little bigot in the making with my silver tongued debating skills; he needs an intro to Reality 101 IMHO. After I've demolished him, I'll send the group home for the now.

10 Part two... on Tue Sep 16, 2014 7:51 pm

StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Three weeks later you come home from work unexpectedly early; you go down into the basement on some errand or other and find Justin and Robert naked and engaging in far more than what would normally be considered to be mere adolescent fooling around... they are not just having a little spot of mutual masturbation...

They don't notice you as you back up the stairs quietly since they are rather distracted... You had no inkling that either Justin or Robert might be gay and this comes as a fairly severe shock...

You are aware that Robert's father is violently homophobic...

What do you do now?

LLALVA


Trailboss
Sit them both for a talk about safe sex.

Stone Man


Marshall
LLALVA wrote:Sit them both for a talk about safe sex.


A good answer, and far easier than the first scenario required.

Jack


Admin
StevieWeeks wrote:...engaging in far more than what would normally be considered to be mere adolescent fooling around... they are not just having a little spot of mutual masturbation...

They don't notice you as you back up the stairs quietly since they are rather distracted...  You had no inkling that either Justin or Robert might be gay and this comes as a fairly severe shock...

Around here, oral sex seems to be pretty accepted as 'mere' adolescent fooling around. If they're engaged in anal, I'm going to have a long talk with them. If it's oral, it'll be the same basic talk, but with other stresses.

I will also talk to Robert about what I heard him saying before, how he feels about himself, and what his father owes him/what to do if his father hurts him or just finds out and deals with him... let's say 'too harshly'.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Part 1

We live in a supposedly free country and yet already the Thought Police are encroaching on our liberty.  I am not about to join them.  Robert is entitled to his opinion even though it may differ widely from mine.

I (and my freely held  views) are  not part of their conversation and I will not butt in.  I will treat what I have heard merely as information but I will though make an opportunity to initiate a conversation with Joey on the topic at a later date.

Part 2

From the vehemence of Robert's remarks I might have guessed it was a defensive strategy - but I didn't.

My reaction, shock! - whatever it is is unlikely to change their proclivities.

Pragmatism reigns ............. ditto Leti

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

1strappedboy


Sherrif
Shocked Razz What Jack said largely. From the time the boys figured out the 'pleasures of a boy's original birthday present', I have let them know I have no crisis with whatever they do as long as no one is coerced and proper precautions are taken.

As far as Justin's 'hypocrisy' is concerned, that is between him and his maker as far as I'm concerned. Very Happy +

Jack


Admin
MemoryMan wrote:We live in a supposedly free country and yet already the Thought Police are encroaching on our liberty.

I'm not sure I can really see a comparison between the Thought Police, and a parent tolerating, in his own home, hate speech that defines other people as less than human.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Jack wrote:
I'm not sure I can really see a comparison between the Thought Police, and a parent tolerating, in his own home, hate speech that defines other people as less than human.

Everybody has the right to form an opinion and, in a free society, to express it.  That it is opposite to ones own opinion, extreme, or running against the current torrent of political correctness does not necessarily make the holder a bad person or a subversive.

A show of intolerance is likely to serve to entrench those opinions, as is direct confrontation with counter arguments.

A useful, uncertain but sometimes fruitful, tactic in such cases is to show an interest in the bigots' views, allow an impression of being convertible and get him/her thinking by asking sympathetic questions and gently probing the arguments that emerge from the prejudice soup.  

One simple question that can sometimes be a show stopper if posed at an appropriate point is "Do you actually KNOW that?"

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

Sponsored content


View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum