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BOTD 09-26-2014 The Birthday Pie - A DMK Production

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Bransom Postmaster
A DMK Production

This is your just turned thirteen year old son, Artemis.

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Artemis has been invited to the thirteenth birthday party of his friend, Jeffrey.  You are good friends with Jeffrey's parents and they asked you to attend the party as well to help supervise the numerous kids.

Jeffrey hates and despises cake and so his birthday party features birthday pie and not cake.  There are plenty of pies to go around but no cake is in sight.

JEFFREY - 13 (With one of his birthday pies.)
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Artemis does not like pie.  Artemis loves cake and was expecting there to be cake.  It is a birthday party after all. Artemis becomes very vocal and verges on a tantrum over there being no cake.  Artemis' protests get to the point of being rude to Jeffrey's parents and hurtful to his friend.

You hear it all and do manage to pull Artemis outside.  Artemis is still subject to spanking but you also use other forms of punishment with him.

Has Artemis earned himself a punishment?  If so, what will you do?

Can you dig it?

Stone Man

Keel-hauling sounds about right for this.

To avoid further embarrassment to us all, I shall be removing Artemis and returning home.

Once there, my boy and I will have a very serious discussion (whilst I strip him bare) about his deplorable behavior. Unless he can offer an outstanding reason for his behavior, I shall hand spank him until well done. He will then be sent to his room with instruction not to leave accept to use the bathroom.

Its sounding like solitary for him tomorrow.

John Boy

I think separation might be the better punishment. He will get an earful later about being disrespectful, however I would think he would know his friend well enough to know there wouldn't be cake, and I would point out how he would feel if his friend did that because there was no pie and just cake at his party.


I'm going to take Artemis aside and remind him that he's 13, not 3. He can return to the party and apologize to his host(s), or he can continue to behave like a baby, and be taken home and sent to his room. I think that removal from his friend's party, particularly in an embarrassing manner, will be more effective than a spanking in this case.


He can find a corner to park his nose in or a stair to park his behind on. If he can cool down and apologise then he can stay. If not, a red bottom awaits him at home.


I agree with Artemis!

I think that a cake is called for - of soap! Twisted Evil


I really don't understand this. I don't 'like' pie, but there's usually something I can find that's good - lemon meringue is my favorite of them. Buy, hey, when they say there's no accounting for tastes....

I would except this from a younger kid, but by thirteen, Artie should know to show good manners.

I'm going to have a quick talk with Artie, then we're going back inside. He's going to apologize to Jeffrey and his parents, and explain that he meant it to be a joke, but he got carried away with it. If I believe the apology, and he's calmed down, he can stay and enjoy the rest of the party. If I think there's a danger of more behavior like this, I'll excuse us.

When I still have Artie outside, he'll be told that we could have stopped and got him a cupcake or something, but his manners have cost him that. When we get home, we're going to have a talk about how he behaved, how he should have behaved, and what should happen. As much as I'd like to spank over this, I'm not positive it's the best answer, unless he acts like this a lot.

BTW - Jake Hogan also hates cake, and celebrates with a birthday pie every year.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


I would have thought Artie would have known the likes and dislikes of his friend by now. Moreover I would hope pie wasn't the only thing being served. Artie is behaving like a 4 year I will take him outside pop him on his backside a few times and ask if he can apologize to our hosts and behave himself or whether I should take him home. If we stay he will be on his best behaviour or he will get a real 13 year olds spanking

David M. Katz

I like Jack's answer and so therefore I shall steal it.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Emlyn Morgan

I was thirteen once. I can't remember having a cake or a pie. Crying or Very sad I think home birthday parties stopped after junior school days. Crying or Very sad I think I will make a point of getting a cake for my next birthday! Smile

Anyway, I'm going to whack young Artemis!


I'd take him straight home and send him to bed without any supper - well, maybe some bread and water.  When he's calmed down (next day?) he agrees he's behaved like a prat and a brat, so I suggest he writes a letter of apology - which he does willingly, because he's basically a nice kid and is ashamed of how he behaved.   He knows he has alienated a lot of his friends and he now wants to make up, so he needs my sympathy and support.  No spanking.

[Written before reading anyone else's comments]


Editor Extraordinaire
I agree with the folks who say he gets one sharp reprimand and a chance to do the right thing before I take him home and confine him to his room (where he can remain until he acts his age or reaches the age of majority, whichever comes first).


Murray Campbell

While I cannot condone Artemis' behavior, I would have thought Jeffrey's parents would have at least provided some cake for those who want it.


The kid's thirteen, not three...

I'm taking him home immediately and sending him to his room with neither cake nor pie... I'm also turning off the breaker so his electronic crap doesn't work either... He can come out to use the toilet and that's all for the rest of the evening.

I don't know how long it will be before I even want to look at him again... I'm totally disgusted by his behaviour and ashamed of the sight of him.


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