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20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles

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1 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Sun Oct 19, 2014 5:08 pm

Jack


Admin
Your two sons, 11-year old Greg and 12-year old Robert, have recently become fascinated by British literature. Of course, since they're reading a mix of Doyle, Christi, and various schoolboy stories, you're not sure how accurate their views might be. Nevertheless, they've asked that they now be called Giles and Rupert. They also bought some new clothes from their own allowa... pocket money.
Giles and Rupert in their new school uniforms.

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For the past several days, they've been getting together with a few friends in an attempt to decipher the rules of Cricket. For the past several days, they've also been coming home late, and/or not having time to get their chores and homework done as they're supposed to do.

Today, you've had enough, and you ask them to remove their school clothes and report to your study for a taste of the paddle you keep there. Rob... Rupert informs you that "Englishmen do not use a paddle, so you'll be unable to chastise (them)."

Have you been put in your place yet, or do you care to make a rejoinder?


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2 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Sun Oct 19, 2014 5:27 pm

MemoryMan


Sherrif
I'll ask them what disciplinary tools Englishmen do use.  

If I don't have the necessary implement to hand I'm sure I'll be able to improvise. Smile   ....... and if they don't know - I do Twisted Evil

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3 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Sun Oct 19, 2014 5:44 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
I am sure there is a slipper laying around the house somewhere. Twisted Evil


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4 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Sun Oct 19, 2014 6:29 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote:I am sure there is a slipper laying around the house somewhere.  Twisted Evil
Ditto

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5 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Sun Oct 19, 2014 6:57 pm

Padraig


Trailboss
Slipper? No. Even me brown thumb gardener has a collection of suitable rattan sticks (canes) available...

6 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Sun Oct 19, 2014 8:54 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
Jack wrote:For the past several days, they've been getting together with a few friends in an attempt to decipher the rules of Cricket.  

That's easy. Rolling Eyes

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game


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7 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Sun Oct 19, 2014 9:05 pm

LLALVA


Trailboss
scratch

8 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Sun Oct 19, 2014 10:10 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
David M. Katz wrote:
Jack wrote:For the past several days, they've been getting together with a few friends in an attempt to decipher the rules of Cricket.  

That's easy.   Rolling Eyes

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game


lol! lol! lol! lol!

I love it!

9 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Mon Oct 20, 2014 12:57 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
My first post came from an American pov but in reality how could I possibly punish two such stalwart young men for such trivia.

This will be my last post for a week or so since I'll be taking them away to learn how to fashion a knickerbocker glory; and now the cricket season has passed how to play rugger (football without the encumbrance of body armour)

I'm sure though that somewhere along the way I'll also get the chance to demonstrate the use of the cane, the strap and the ivor. Very Happy Very Happy

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10 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Mon Oct 20, 2014 2:03 am

ivor


Marshall
The ivory slipper will suffice for an offence such as this.

I wouldn't consider using a garden cane as that is bamboo not rattan and is a much more fearsome implement.

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11 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Mon Oct 20, 2014 4:00 am

Jack


Admin
John Boy wrote:
David M. Katz wrote:I am sure there is a slipper laying around the house somewhere.  Twisted Evil
Ditto

You took the words right out of my mouth.

And if they complain about that, I can point out that we have several river birches out behind our property. affraid


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12 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:28 am

Emlyn Morgan


Trailboss
If there's anything worse than being named Giles it's being named Rupert!

Anyway, I'm going to whack them!

13 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Mon Oct 20, 2014 11:50 am

Murray Campbell


Cowboy
Jack wrote:
For the past several days, they've been getting together with a few friends in an attempt to decipher the rules of Cricket...

...Rupert informs you that "Englishmen do not use a paddle, so you'll be unable to chastise (them)."

I tell Rupert to fetch the cricket bat.

14 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Mon Oct 20, 2014 1:40 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
Here, this is cricket:

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I am not sure they have any rules except to be as noisily annoying as possible.


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15 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles on Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:07 pm

squarecutter


Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote:
Jack wrote:For the past several days, they've been getting together with a few friends in an attempt to decipher the rules of Cricket.  

That's easy.   Rolling Eyes

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in the side that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he's out. When they are all out, the side that's out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game


Howzat as we say.

There are one or two Christian schools that paddled right up until CP wa abolished in UK schools and have fought a losing battle for the right to restore it ever since. Traditionally Canes , gym shoes and two tailed tawses (mostly in Scotland) were used. I think a caning would more than satisfy the curiosity of these two.  For understanding cricket I would start with analogies with baseball and develop it from there. Oh and only a cricket bat sized for use by a 5 year old would be effective as a paddle. Otherwise you would need to use both hands

16 Re: 20 Oct 2014: Anglophiles Today at 8:14 am

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