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BOTD 12-21-2014 - Rusty the Red - A Skater Production

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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
Rusty the Red
A Skater Production

You son Rusty is almost twelve and has quite a temper on him. You've tanned his hide for it in the past. Today Rusty's team lost the big game and you heard one of his friends tease him about it.


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You looked in the room where the two boys were and saw Rusty shove his friend to the ground and say, "F U M F er!"

Is Rusty going to be sleeping on his belly tonight or will you leave this between the two friends. (the other boy was not hurt and left the house)


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StevieWeeks


Trailboss
He's grounded for a week... and he'll have to convince me why I should allow him to remain on the team since he's not learning very much about sportsmanship and all... if he doesn't put up a convincing argument, he's off the team.



David M. Katz


Marshall
I think a talk with Rusty is what is needed. I also need to consider the fact that he was in the privacy of his room and was provoked. Rusty needs to learn how to manage his frustrations. Looks like I have already tried spanking so it is time for other strategies.

I agree with Stevie that this could lead to Rusty having to leave the team if he can't get things under control.


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Stone Man


Marshall
On top of things, Rusty may have lost a friend. Time for a talk, I'd say a long one this time, but it will more than likely be in a series of short talks over time. Anger management. Rusty has to get a handle on his temper or sports will be out of the question and not by our choice but that of the leagues.

I have no intention of spanking Rusty for this temper this time. But even in the privacy of his room I don't want him using the language I heard hi using ... AND he know it. My boy is getting roasted for that.

ivor


Marshall
As I was in his room, I'm not intending to spank. We do though need a conversation and Rusty needs to go and apologise to his friend.

On the other hand, if he's any good this attitude might indicate he is destined for the pro game.......

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Jack


Admin
If this kid was a friend of Rusty's, then I feel like he probably was hoping for a reaction from the teasing, and just got more than he'd bargained for.

I'm not going to spank Rusty for this. We will have a talk about how you treat your friends if you want to keep them. We will also talk about how the law deals with putting your hand on other people, even when they deliberately provoke you. Finally, I'll remind him that we don't use language like that, and that if he's going to use it, he'll be held responsible for it (and I know at least one case of someone losing their job for almost that exact same comment), whether he thinks anyone is around or not.

I don't think this is really that out of line, for a 12-year old who's being teased, but I do think I need to keep an eye on him, and maybe try to figure out why he has such a temper.


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Jack


Admin
To Stevie and David - why would you take him off the team for this? There's no indication that he handled it badly at all on the field. It's when a friend - someone who he could reasonably expect to be supportive and kind - began teasing him, that he had the bad reaction. I don't see that as bad sportsmanship at all.


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Pi Beta


Deputy
Is he in danger of being another Dylan Hartley - sent off for thuggery yet again playing for Northampton Saints RUFC? Saints - no way!

StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Jack... I would not have been thrilled to for my son to play football in any case and he would have been allowed only if he'd been fairly insistent about joining the team.

This outburst demonstrates that my fears were justified, and that I was not mistaken in my judgement about the behaviour of football players in general. I do not want to bring up a nasty, foulmouthed bully, and I'm very much afraid that is what he'll become if he continues to play on the team.

Stevie.

Padraig


Trailboss
Don't read anything about football. Could be soccer, tennis, basketball or even chess...

We will habe a long talk and then he is going over to his friend to apologise. No, he will not text him nor call him, he will go over and sort it out face to face.

Jack


Admin
Padraig wrote:Don't read anything about football. Could be soccer, tennis, basketball or even chess...

Thank you, Pad - that's what I was wondering.

I think this is another interesting case where each of our different lives and views effect how we see these things.


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David M. Katz


Marshall
Jack wrote:To Stevie and David - why would you take him off the team for this?  There's no indication that he handled it badly at all on the field.  It's when a friend - someone who he could reasonably expect to be supportive and kind - began teasing him, that he had the bad reaction.  I don't see that as bad sportsmanship at all.

I wouldn't take him off. I said it may lead to it. If he allows his temper to grow unchecked then some leagues/coaches would not want him to be part of their teams.


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Murray Campbell


Cowboy
David M. Katz wrote: I wouldn't take him off.  I said it may lead to it.  If he allows his temper to grow unchecked then some leagues/coaches would not want him to be part of their teams.

A good point David, but have you considered there might be something to his temper outbursts. There's very little to go on, but what I think he could have is an overactive thyroid. One of the symptoms of this is irritability and shortness of temper.

Mom had this and she would often fly off the handle at the slightest thing. As an overactive thyroid is hereditary and like her I would quickly loose my temper she suggested I should be tested for it. As we were waiting for the results she told me that she would forgive me for the number of times I lost my temper. The test turned out negative.

To cut a long story short, I had a friend staying with us for a few weeks when I was 10, one Sunday night we had a fight, blood all over the place that sort of thing. Next morning we friends again. Let things be and let them sort it out, the best part of breaking up is when you're making up.

I've just had a Autonomous sensory meridian response writing the last part of this post.

David M. Katz


Marshall
Murray Campbell wrote:
David M. Katz wrote: I wouldn't take him off.  I said it may lead to it.  If he allows his temper to grow unchecked then some leagues/coaches would not want him to be part of their teams.

A good point David, but have you considered there might be something to his temper outbursts.

I think it is time to consider any other situations. Obviously spanking has not been working so it is very possible it is more than behavioral.


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squarecutter


Sherrif
I could have been Rusty. Is this about not taking losing well or not taking teasing well. I don't think spanking here would help.I doubt the language used shocked his friend even if the violent reaction did. We will be having a long talk about how to deal with this and how not to rise like this. I will have no hesitation presenting both sides of the story should the other lads parents call me

Iconoclast


Trailboss
This is a dispute between boys, I should not interfere! Instead I should simply pretend I heard nothing. Remember: See no evil, HEAR NO EVIL, Speak no evil!!

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