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BOTD 1/14/15 "Escaping Punishment" A Late Chat Production

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David M. Katz


Marshall
ESCAPING PUNISHMENT
A Late Chat Production

Your eleven year-old son, Rudy, is in trouble.  He is supposed to give you a general idea of where he will be.  Earlier today he wandered off without letting anyone know where he was going.  You found him way outside of his established boundaries.  Rudy's punishment was supposed to be a spanking but he refused to take it or to cooperate.  You did not force the issue and told Rudy he could be grounded for the next three days instead.  You told Rudy that at any time he wanted to not be grounded that he could take the spanking (adjusted for any time served.) Rudy went on off to his room to begin serving his sentence (although he isn't required to stay in his room, he just can't leave the house.) You assumed Rudy simply wanted some time alone to sulk or cry or collect his thoughts.

About two hours later your next door neighbor called you and suggested you might want to give some immediate attention to the side of your house at your son's room.  You go to check things out and you see:

RUDY - 11
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How do you deal with this?


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Jack


Admin
Rudy and I are going to talk about the rules he violated in the first place, and why he feels that he shouldn't have to accept the consequences of his actions. I'm going to ask guiding questions and try to sit back and let him do most of the talking.

The simple fact is that Mr. Rudy has just guaranteed himself a very deluxe session. When that's over, and I've calmed down, we'll talk again, but I want him to understand that I find his behavior entirely unacceptable. The only thing is, I want to understand why he's doing this, so I'm going to try hard to listen before wearing him out and making him serve the rest of his restriction.


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db105


Trailboss
What Jack says makes lots of sense. Reasoning and then punishment. It should work unless Rudy is in "total rebellion" mode. In that case we have a deeper problem. However, a boy shouldn't be in total rebellion if he has a good relationship with his parents and nothing really bad is going on.

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StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Firstly, I'm going to throw him in the bath because he looks dirty enough to have serious body odour - his hair looks as though it hasn't been washed in a month and all...

Next, he'll work out his punishment by cutting the grass... before small children and little dogs start getting lost in it...

Stevie

Fenz


Cowboy
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Of course, I'll help him with the bath. 

Then supervise his punishment chore. He will not be allowed to wear his shirt until the grass is cut. 

To keep his shirt clean of course!

MemoryMan


Sherrif
ditto Jack

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John Boy


Sherrif
Jack is the voice or reason here again.

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squarecutter


Sherrif
I am mindful of a scene from, I think, an old Tom Sawyer film, where the boy attempts an escape from a window only to find Aunt Polly standing on the ground below armed with a trusty kitchen utensil and whacking him when he got in range! I might do the same.

Seriously I do need to know whats got into my lad. Does he think I was unfair.  I have two options now. Tightening up the grounding or revisiting the spanking idea. After I have ensured their is no deep-seated reason for this behaviour I will spank him harder than he would have been spanked before.  The boy has lost his say in that and he is still small enough for me not to need his cooperation.

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