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BOTD Extra: 22 January 2015 - One Crazy Night Part 2: Bedtime Blues (or Bedtime Reds?)

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You and your significant other have five children together.

Silas is seven, in second grade; Owen is eight, and in third grade; Lee is eleven, and in sixth grade; Jerry is thirteen, and in seventh, and Anson has just turned fifteen, and is in ninth grade.
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As the oldest, you've tried to respect Anson and not treat him the same as his younger brothers, but as someone who was a bit older than them. While he was in eighth grade, you switched from corporal punishment to grounding and restriction. Apparently Anson didn't really like being treated as older and more mature. A few months ago, when Anson complained about getting grounded, when his brothers were still getting spanked, you took him at his word, and you've been spanking him since then.

There were problems occurring at the time you decided to start spanking Anson again. Your SO works at home, so is responsible for getting the kids off to school in the morning. There was a lot of trouble ongoing with that (not just one day, but nearly daily in some fashion or another). You were easily able to track down why the problems were happening, so the two of you came up with a plan that ended the problems by requiring the kids to keep to an evening schedule, and have most things done before they went to bed (on a timely basis).

While the whole crew received at least one spanking, once they settled in, the problems mostly went away. Your SO felt things were better, and starting loosening the requirements, until the problems started back up, and the whole group ended up with another set of sore bottoms. After that, you borrowed a page from a friend's book, and the kids now receive a 'strike', if they don't finish any part of their bedtime routine on time. Three strikes in three weeks results in a sore bottom for the laggard.

At this point, Silas and Owen both have two strikes.

Yesterday, you received an urgent call from your SO. Anson had hurt his arm, and they were on the way to the emergency room. You were in the middle of something at work, so your SO called a family friend, who took care of the younger kids, and picked Jerry up from basketball practice. You closed things up as fast as you could, and went to pick up the kids.

The friend already had a meal planned. Instead of complaining, one of his kids made a trip to the store, and the younger four ended up eating better than you, your SO, and Anson did. Still, you were a bit worried, because the kids were off schedule, and you know this kind of thing tends to wind up the younger ones.

At home, you dealt with the issue of Anson not wearing his safety equipment while skating, then checked with the other kids. Jerry was running a bit behind, and Lee was almost ahead of schedule (he'd been doing one bit of homework that didn't get taken with him, in the rush to be ready to go to your friend's house). The younger two are definitely wired up, and more interested in playing than getting ready for bed. You remind them what time it is, and that they both already have two strikes.

At bedtime, you go in and find that Silas is in bed, but not with the lights out. He is reading his current book to one of his stuffies. Owen, on the other hand, is just out of the bath, and not nearly ready for bed yet.

Technically, that's a third strike for both of them. Is it time for exceptions or to explain that rules are rules? And if you make exceptions, is one transgression as bad as the other?

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


Silas I'm reasonably relaxed about but he will be told to get his head down and I will put his light out for him. Owen has got behind and I will now chivy him along. His strike position is now on a knife edge.. I will dry him, check for teeth brushing and hustle him into his bed in whatever he wears. Any more prevaricartion and we will be dealing with his third strike tomorrow since that prospect clearly doesn't seem to bother him


Editor Extraordinaire
No strikes and no spankings tonight. Kids are not automatons. Anson's accident has disrupted their routine, so it would be unreasonable to expect them to carry on as if nothing unusual had happened. Tomorrow, however, we go back to the rules.



Kat speaks great sense.

This is "Kids 'R Us" not "Robots 'R Us"


Technically, that's a third strike for both of them.

I'd give them a technical spanking - if I knew what one was. scratch

Family rules are not cast iron ordinances carrying automatic punishment for every deviation.  They are guiding principles and any consequences of breaking them must always have regard to the circumstances.

Stone Man

I can't miss the opportunity to give Owen a stingoor as we set about to get him into bed, and I'll give one to Silas too as I'm sure he'll want one.

Back to reality tomorrow.

David M. Katz


Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


Aww, sometimes you have to make allowances. Maybe a "good" spanking?


This is based on a RL situation that happened a couple of days ago, which I described in The Loomis Family thread. I altered the names, because this pic worked pretty well, and I couldn't find one for 2 older boys, 1 girl, and 2 identical twin youngest boys.

Like most of the rest of you, Ike knew the boys would be wound up, and Sarah was more worried about getting them settled down and into bed than she was about them being on schedule.

As for myself, I'm not sure what I would have done here. The entire reason for a three strike rule is that it keeps the kids from getting in trouble because of one slip. In this case, if the boys already hadn't been playing around in the last couple of weeks, this wouldn't have mattered. I think that, if they were actually trying, I would have let it go. If they'd been cutting up, I would probably have warned them that they were very near going across my lap. And the would probably be on zero tolerance, until their first strike aged out.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

John Boy

David M. Katz wrote:DITTO  cat
Ditto the ditto

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