Kat wrote:Kier, I'm afraid that you and I have a fundamental disagreement as to responsibility for Kyle. Having taken him into my home and allowed him to make it his home; having voluntarily assumed the position of a parent; I feel I do have a moral responsibility to him. Were he doing something morally reprehensible, I would take a stronger stand. Smoking away from my house, however, harms only him.A bit of a side issue but something no one has brought up: just how do I enforce what he does outside my presence, as he is likely just to be much more careful in future?Kat wrote:
I will agree with you, Kat, that I do feel I have a moral responsibility to Kyle, since he is my brother. However, I feel like you're only looking at one side of the argument you're making. By your own argument, I don't think you can say that I 'voluntarily' assumed the position of (his) parent - I only did it under duress, to help my mother, who was being overwhelmed. I think that's the point Daniel was making earlier - if you open the definition up far enough, then pretty much any agreement can be said to be coercive. Either Kyle is an adult, who voluntarily entered an agreement with me to continue living here, else he's not adult enough to be held to that agreement (the case you cite is someone who's in bad health, which doesn't apply in this case - if Kyle seriously wanted an alternative, he could always enlist).
And that's kind of the point I made earlier. If this is something he has to do, he can do it in a way that doesn't expose me to it, or let my kids know that he is doing it. I can't even remember how I wrote the scenario originally, or what I was thinking when I did, but, while I would be worried about my brother's health, I'd be much more worried about my kids seeing someone they admired smoking, in that it might encourage them to do it.
I have to apologize for this BOTD. I was in a bit of a rush to come up with one, and this seemed like a good idea. I did think there would be a lot of disagreement and discussion, but I had no idea that it would become this... vigorous (nor did I think of the parallels in some of our members home lives and how they might feel about them).