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BOTD 01/29/15 "Not Lost - Just Missing" A Memory Man Production

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David M. Katz

Not Lost - Just Missing
A Memory Man Production

You are single and although you live alone you are only a short distance from your married brother. Your family ties are still strong and you regularly visit your brothers family for your evening meal, also living so close by, you are a handy (and willing) first call as a sitter to your ten year old nephew Ryan.  Over the years of baby-sitting you have developed a close relationship with Ryan who has often slept over in your apartment.  Ryan is a high spirited athletic boy who shares your interest in mountain walking and he has become a welcome companion on some of your weekend expeditions, sharing your hotel room or your tent perched up on a mountainside.

Your brother, as did your father, adopts a zero tolerance approach to discipline and is (in your opinion) all too ready to bare and spank Ryan for minor infractions.  You have on several occasions sat in their home experiencing a nostalgic stirring in your loins as you watch Ryan's little pert perfectly proportioned posterior positioned across your brothers lap colouring up under his punishing hand in pretty much the same way as both yours did as kids.

You have needed to check Ryan's high spirits at times when he's been in your care but you have never seen the need to invoke the injunction to "give him a hiding if he misbehaves" you usually receive.  You do though insist on one iron rule - that he doesn't wander off on his own without first checking it out with you.

Tonight you and Ryan were settling into your hotel room prior to the start of a walking weekend when Ryan asked, and received, your permission go the playground you'd passed almost next door to the hotel.  He hadn't returned by the time it was starting to get dusk but when you went out to call him you found the playground empty and the whole area deserted.

Ryan - 10
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A cold finger clutched at your heart as you looked for him.  Then after finding no sign of him and becoming increasingly worried you went back inside to return your key and explain the situation before getting into the car to fruitlessly cruise the streets.  Returning to the hotel wondering if it was too early to report him as a missing child you breathed a big sigh of relief when the receptionist informed you he had returned and had been escorted to your room.

On entering you found Ryan watching TV. You strode across to switch the set off and demand an explanation.

"It was boring when the other kids went home so I went and had a little explore."

Your relief and anger were an explosive mix and you let loose with both barrels.  When your tirade ended Ryan looked up at you with tear filled eyes and you heard a querulous little voice.  

"I'm sorry Uncle John.  I didn't mean to scare you like that ................... are - are you going to spank me?"

Are you? - How will you respond?

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.



"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


I will get over my silly worry, of coarse Ryan was exploring, that's what boys do! If I cannot get over my worries I will give him a cell phone or a FRS walkie talkie!

Right now I will apologize for losing my cool!




soft Uncy will hug him to death first, then lecture him some more with tears in the eyes, and tickle him to death afterwards...

David M. Katz

"Yes, Ryan, I am."

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


I'm with Jack and David on this one.

When the demon spawn was about 7, we were on vacation at JB's favorite resort. He asked, and received, permission to go to the "baby pool" (although he was a strong swimmer). When I went to find him, he wasn't there. I was as frantic as the dad in this scenario. He had wandered down to the NEXT "baby pool" (there were a bunch of pools and wading pools in a row at that particular resort). He THOUGHT he was in the right place, and he was frantic when no one came for him. Only his terror saved his bottom on that occasion.

In this case, Ryan isn't a bit remorseful. I was frightened to death, and his tears are crocodile ones. I've never spanked him before. Hopefully, I'll never have to spank him again. But I'm going to spank him now.


Hmmm. Ryan already seems quite upset and apologetic. He seems to have learned his lesson and as this is the first time he has run off in Uncle's care, I don't think that I would smack little Ryan's bottom.

I would give him a big hg though and take him out for ice cream later. Isn't that what uncles are supposed to do?

John Boy

AFinch wrote:I'm with Jack and David on this one.


Stone Man

Yes, Ry Guy... Yes I am.


I'm going to ask him what his Dad would do and I suspect he'll say he'd get a spanking. I think he'd be right. So yes I am going to spank him for wandering off and giving little thought to his safety  or to how  I might feel. I think he will think it fair if I know my nephew and he may have reason to be grateful if I don't tell his parents


It appears that Ryan is generally well behaved when with you and this is the first time he has ever wandered off.

Am I really going to operate a zero tolerance policy?

Am I perhaps considering spanking him to satisfy the stirring in my loins?

I think this is the final warning while pointing out to him what would almost certainly have happened had I been his father.


Yes. It's a safety issue, and frankly for peace of mind. I would like to know where he is and what he is doing. Wandering away from the playground to go explore is unacceptable.

Pi Beta

Since I don't believe I should ever spank when angry, I will tell him that it's something I'm considering, but need to wait until my blood pressure has returned to normal befor making a final decision.

Realistically, n the hour oro it taks me to recoeI'll probably have mellowed sufficiently to lee him off with a "Don't you ever do that again to me, or else..." warning.


While I'm generally against a zero tolerance policy (unless the child has reached that point by their previous behavior, in which case it's not really zero tolerance), I do have to point something out here, and this especially applies to Icono, who seems to think he's still in his home.

Where is this hotel? What's the neighborhood like? How close is the nearest 'bad' neighborhood? What's the traffic like in the area?

Do you know how many of those to which I know the answer before traveling?

There's nothing in the scenario to indicate that this is a new hotel, or one at which you've stayed before (that I could find), but even if you know some of those answers - does Ryan?

To me, there are plenty of parents who indulge in 'silly worry', but that doesn't mean that every worry is silly, and there are times that we shouldn't have tolerance.

Which is just to clarify my earlier, rather short answer.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


Editor Extraordinaire
I think I'd give him a warning rather than a spanking, as he seems to have realized the seriousness of the situation by my reaction. I doubt he'll ever pull this stunt again, but if he does, he'll be toast.



A real problem for Uncle Push here:   he has to balance the 'stirring in his loins' (about which he feels very guilty) against the fact that Ryan deserves a condign lesson and is also expecting it.  A compromise:  Ryan is going to get a spanking but he will be fully clothed.  Thus Push is punishing himself as well as Ryan.


Spanking was my original intention but since Ryan has started a dialogue I think I would respond with a "Do you think you deserve a spanking?" and take it from there.

If I end up satisfied that Ryan now fully appreciates the reasoning behind that rule (especially pertinent if we are camping in the wilderness) and is genuinely contrite he can get away with a warning that he's now in the Last Chance Saloon.

(and perhaps a few stingoors to satisfy the stirrings in my loins) Wink Smile

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