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BOTD 01-31-2015 - Walking Billboard - An Ivor Production

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Bransom Postmaster
Walking Billboard
An Ivor Production

Your 15 year old son Bill recently developed an overwhelming desire to make Ann-Marie, the 15 year old daughter of a near neighbour, the girl of his dreams. She did go out with him a couple of times, but then dumped him for reasons that are not known to you although you have your suspicions.

Since then her father has been in touch with you to say that Bill is becoming a nuisance and is pestering his daughter which he wants you to make him stop. A couple of nights ago you sat Bill down and had a talk with him during which you made it clear that if you received any more complaints about his behaviour towards Ann-Marie he would get his butt whipped. Something he has experienced in the past for various reasons.

Today you get home from work, open up your computer and find an email from Ann-Marie's father to which is attached this photo

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taken from his house earlier today.

When you go upstairs to change will you be removing your belt from its loops?

Can you dig it?

David M. Katz

Does Bill not realize that stalking is illegal? Did I not tell him that?

Is the photo recent (ie, after my talk with him?)

If the photo is recent and if Bill is indeed still stalking the young lady then I will make good on my promise of a whipping but I wonder if it will truly do any good? I hope so as I do not want the authorities involved.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


I'm in agreement with DMK

John Boy

AFinch wrote:I'm in agreement with DMK

Stone Man

I'm worried that the whipping will do little to change things. I need help.


He'll get his de-luxe whipping and since its not really feasible to invite Ann-Marie and her father to watch I'll have my wife video it with the threat of sending it to Ann-Marie's father if the staking doesn't stop.

I'll also ensure that he's fully aware that the next escalation in the saga is likely to be prosecution for stalking.


First, how the heck did he even get that shirt into the house? That thing's going in the trash!

The rest depends a bit on the talk I had with him. As David pointed out, what he's doing is harassment, even if it doesn't reach the level of stalking (yet), and I hope I made that very clear to him.

It's easy enough to fixate on someone you really like, and it's hard to take rejection. I'm going to have a long talk with Bill about that, and about the possible repercussions of what he's doing, and about why he's so fixated on her and unable to move on.

Then he's going to strip down for a long, thorough whupping.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


No suggestion of an answer to the problem (as usual), but I just have to admire the ingenuity of Ivor for working out this scenario, the lateral thinking of MM's response, and the wisdom of Jack, who has had so much experience of this sort of situation that it is almost second nature for him to come up with the appropriate response, including the end bit, which I rather like.

[I might consider making Bill go round to the elderly widow lady next door, dressed as in the picture, and see how she responds.]

Pi Beta

Could Bill be implying that Ann-Marie is sleeping with someone else and using this way to inform her father? I might suggest that interpretation of the message to her father!

I will then be taking Bill to task, destroying the t-shirt and a severe belting - though fearing that a belting will do nothing to cure what may be an obsession. Beyone that I can only really warn and warn again of the potential legal consequences until he turns his attention to someone else. Though I have doubts about the efficacy of counselling, this may be an occasion when, in desperation, I'll try to sort out an appropriate counsellor.


It's about time we took the boy to task for making the the ungodly and demonic lifestyle choice of (gasp) heterosexuality and all...

If he doesn't change his ways... he's out of the family and all.

Stevie Smile


Perhaps I should send him out to a busy intersection and Twisted Evil  display the tshirt there for an hour or two, or one of those advertising sandwich boards. 

Seriously though, he is 15 and too young to be sleeping with anyone. He needs to learn to back off especially if the girl is starting to feel threatened. I hope this message via her Dad will do the trick because if not and deciding on the basis of this comveration, it will either be the belt  or the shrink or military school. I am burning the shirt by the way.


Editor Extraordinaire
I'll agree with Katz on this one.


Emlyn Morgan

I was pestered once. 1927, I think it was. Sad

Anyway, I'm going to whack him.


Going out tonight, need a shirt. May I borrow that one?


Ditto, Square...

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