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BOTD 2-22-15: Brother Helping Brother - A DMK Production

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A DMK Production

You have two sons. Ulysses is fifteen and Grant is thirteen. Both boys are still subject to spanking but you do also use grounding and restriction with the boys.

Ulysses was spending too much time with his electronics and it was affecting his school performance. You limited his time with his devices but Ulysses violated his limitations. You took his electronics for a week as punishment.

Ulysses is still on restriction. You walk by his room and his door is open and you see:

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"I thought you were still on restriction?"

"Oh, it's not mine, it's Grant's, he said I could use it. I figured as long as it wasn't mine . . ."

You go to see Grant.

GRANT - 13
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Grant admits to letting his brother use his device.

"He was so bored. I was just helping him out. We decided since it wasn't his then it would be OK."

How do you respond to your sons?

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


Both get a lecture.

Did I really ban him from listening music for a week or does he have a radio?


I will give Ulysses back his player but first I will move all his music to my computer HDD and reload the device with spoken word audio of my choice so he will not be board!

Since I forgot to say he couldn't use his brothers player the boys win that one!



It appears to me he is just listening to music, rather than doing something interactive with a computer. I'd never ban anyone from that--it's cruel and inhuman IMO. So the case is moot.

If, however, Grant had loaned his brother a laptop, they'd both be getting a lecture, and I'd make clear (verbally, no punishments) that an electronics ban includes ANYONE's electronics (except in case of a real emergency).

Stone Man

I realize that it's after the fact, but if Ulysses is current with his school work ( which is what I was trying to ensure) I need to rethink the parameters of what I can/should allow (such as listening to music).

John Boy

ditto Kier


I share Stoney's view. If the schoolwork is up to date then it isn't a real problem even though the pair have managed to find a clever way round my ban. But is the schoolwork still isn't being done then it will be time for Ulysses to face further sanction. Grant can get off with a lecture which he'll probably hate as much as a spanking


Since taking Ulysses's electronics was the punishment and there is no mention of an outright ban in the scenario I see nothing wrong.

In fact I find it quite heart-warming to see an example of brotherly love rather than rivalry and antagonism.

(Although I may spank Grant for sitting with his trainers on the duvet) Smile


I am not buying it. As far as Im concerned Ulysses had time on electronics taken from him and the logical way is to remove the toys. I am sure the principle was fully understood. The boys have been clever but while I'm not too bothered about Grant, and I do like to see him helping his brother out  Ulysses is not dodging his restriction this way and both boys need to understand that. Ulysses can choose to have his ban extended or take a paddling. The original ban carries on regardless.


1) I would never take music from a kid as punishment. However, there are some kids who need quiet to study. If Ulysses was listening to music when he should have been studying... Well, I still wouldn't have taken the music, but I might have set up something strict about checking his work, and taken his headphones.

I think this is the type of scenario when I have to say 'I might have done that, but now I'm going to have to re-think it.'

2) IF Ulysses if finished with his homework, then I might be lighter with my sentencing, but if he's just zoning out again, that will make it harsher.

3) Grant is old enough that he should understand that a restriction is a restriction, but he's not the one violating things, so he'll probably get a warning (for his own sake in the future), but I see no reason to punish him.

4) If it weren't headphones, I would have no problem with this. Music is nearly constant in my home, and I would never think of denying it to anyone (unless, as I said above, it was for the purpose of studying). However, in the spirit of this scenario, and because Ulysses is trying to play rules lawyer and get around the restriction (and especially if his homework isn't done), I'm going to drop the restrictions, bust his butt for his violation and the rest of the time, and then he and I are going to set up a system where he earns his electronics on a daily basis, by showing me his chores and homework have been completed. Screen time will be restricted, music will not be.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


Editor Extraordinaire
Ditto Kier and Stoney



Grant knows by now that I don't care for schoolboy lawyers at all...

Grant loses his electronics for two weeks... he may only use the rotary dial phone in my foyer to call a friend once a day and watch my black and white 15 inch portable TV in the rec room... and if he cheats with any of his friends and I catch him he gets another spanking...

Ulysses gets his suspension extended under the same conditions for another week as well...

If music was that important to him he should not have defied me twice...

And, if he's really desperate, he may use my gramophone twice a day:

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He has a nice selection of George Formby Senior 78s to choose from and all:

Plus plenty of The Andrews Sisters, Glenn Miller, and the Dorsey Brothers...

Stevie  Twisted Evil


Seems like Ulysses is being handled well.

I'm going to tell Grant to get his not so dirty shoes off the bed, and put him on laundry duty.

But I'm proud of him for sharing with his brother, though he needs to understand that he shouldn't aid the prisoner.

He better pray hard the Uly's boredom is due to having nothing (fun) to do, and not bored and procrastinating doing homework.

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