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BOTD 4/7/15 "Spank Me As Hard As You Want" A John Ross Production

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David M. Katz

Spank Me As Hard As You Want
A John Ross Production

You are the stepfather to Lance who just turned 13. You married his mother about a year ago and Lance's behavior got worse. You knew it was because he was adjusting so you gave him some space. Lately he has had issues with back talk towards his mother who has talked with you about spanking him. His father used to spank him but that was awhile ago. Today he called his mother the B word and when you try to talk to him he looks up at you and says, "So you're going to spank, huh? Go ahead spank away, spank me as hard as you want. I don't care!"

Lance - 13
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Do you grant his request?

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


On the one hand, this is really hard, and it depends a great deal on how my relationship with the boy has been going. Also, I should really have given him some notice about the change before spanking was actually on the table.

Having said that, I think my answer is, "I might just do that, Lance, but for now, I'd really rather know why you don't care, and why you want to talk to your mother like that."

By the time we're through talking, I'm sure we'll be able to come to an agreement about things, and I'll know whether to spank this time or let him actually violate known rules and borders.

Either way, I'm going to strongly encourage him to apologize to his mother (and her to him, if she was provoking him in some way).

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

David M. Katz

BOTD wrote:
Do you grant his request?

Short answer: not immediately, maybe not at all.

Lance and I are not on good terms and a spanking from me right now would not be perceived as anything but me throwing my adultness around. Hopefully Lance will talk to me. Maybe he and I can go outside and throw a ball around or go get some ice cream or go sit in his room. His disrespect to his mother was certainly not acceptable but it is a result of a far deeper issue. I need to work more on listening and communicating.

The scenario doesn't say what happened with his bio Dad. Is the guy still in his life? Did he pass away? Did he run off? Regardless, I am sure Lance perceives that I am trying to replace his father. Ideally if the dad is still in the picture then we can work as a team but, if not, then Lance needs to realize I do want to be part of his life but I am in no way trying to replace his father.

After Lance and I work on establishing some sort of better relationship then maybe we can discuss a more active role from me in his discipline.

My goal right now is to diffuse the situation and to get calmer heads to prevail.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


Ditto Jack and Katz

John Boy

AFinch wrote:Ditto Jack and Katz

Stone Man

Points well covered by Jack and Katz


Stone Man wrote:Points well covered by Jack and Katz

ditto ;-)


Time for someone to go against the party line.......

He's had a year to adjust to you being in his life - more than that as there must have been a relationship between you and his mom for some time before that. Admittedly I don't know how long ago his real father left or why but he did spank him. His mom has talked to you about spanking him although it seems she may not have talked to him about it.

I think he is trying to provoke you into being a [i]real[i] father to him and it seems in his eyes that role includes spanking him.

Ask him if he really means what he says because if you do spank him then it will be hard and he will cry before you finish. If he says 'yes' - then do it.


The answer is Most Likely

We have had a year to establish a relationship and clearly it hasn't happened. - His fault?  Mine? - Or a combination of both?

Lance's outburst makes it clear he has no respect for me and its time I stopped being just "a bloke around the house" and started exercising some authority instead of leaving it all to his mother.  We can talk some more about his outburst but I suspect that it may take some decisive action such as a spanking to change the status quo.

If he then starts to mind me, perhaps  with a respect tinged with fear, then we have a platform from which to start to build a better relationship.


I'm with Ivor and MM on this one....

Hugs kal


There seems to be more going on with him than he is saying. It is as if he is goading you into reacting by spanking him. Before I even considered a spamming I would have a long conversation with him to see if I could figure out what's going on.


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm torn between the replies of Jack and Katz, on the one hand, and Ivor and MM, on the other. I think before doing anything, Lance and I need to talk. I want to sort out in my own mind what he's trying to communicate through his defiance.


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