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BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering

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1 BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Tue Apr 07, 2015 5:13 pm

Jack


Admin
Clayton is 20 years old.  He's lived with you now for over two years, though you've known him longer than that.  He says it's been 10 years now.  You know he came to work for you when he was 16, but he says he was a customer before that, and he remembers you as far back as when he was maybe 10 or 11 years old.

When he first moved in with you, he had a lot of trouble adjusting.  He moved in with you, because he was having a ton of trouble with his mom.  You'd had to deal with his mom some, and you could see that he was probably telling the truth.  However, once you started living with him, it became obvious that there were troubles on both sides.

Before moving in with you, the two of you had a long talk, and Clayton admitted that he knew how you dealt with your boys in most times of trouble, and agreed that he was willing to accept that himself.  Several times over the months after he moved in, he ended up going over your lap for an old-fashioned, bare bottomed spanking, with only the implement adjusted to allow for his age.  When he finally settled down, you started treating him more like you do your older boys - swats with a paddle, instead of spankings.  And honestly, it's probably been a year or more now since he's been in any trouble at all.  Clayton is doing fine at school, he takes care of his chores, still works for you (for extra pocket money, though you cover his major bills), and he gets along fine with the other kids at home.  He's also became a valuable member of your book group.

Clayton at 20 - A fine addition to the family.

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It's dinner time.  You're sitting at the table when the doorbell rings.  Most friends know not to come now, but most friends also don't use the front door.  Since you sit close to the kitchen, one of your older high school boys excuses himself to answer the door. He comes back a few moments later.

"A policeman is here.  He wants to talk to Clay."

You and Clayton both step away from the table.

It turns out that Clayton had a speeding ticket that he 'kind of forgot about.'  It's now gone to warrant.  

The officer explains that he has to take Clayton in, and that he owes $305, including the original ticket fee and a warrant fee.  However, if Clayton can pay the fee, he'll be released within an hour.

The problem is that Clayton is taking a trip with some friends this summer, and you know he's currently broke from paying off his share.  

You could let Clayton 'sit out the ticket' instead of paying the fine for him, but the officer says the judges aren't doing that much, and Clayton would miss a week of classes if you did that.  A few months ago, another of your sons came to you with a speeding ticket, and you paid half of it, but he also took a paddling.  Of course, Clayton's was on the highway, while the other boy's was on a city street, which you consider more dangerous.  On the other hand, he came to you with the ticket when he received it.

You could let Clayton sit in jail overnight, and see if he can make a payment arrangement with the judge, but that would make him miss at least one day of classes.

Or you could follow him in, pay the fines, then bring him back home.

What's your decision (and don't forget that you usually switch for illegal activity, though you don't normally consider traffic tickets to qualify)?

For the record, Clayton knows he screwed up, does not want to sit in jail, and seems willing to accept whatever you decide, if you'll just bring him home now.


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2 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Tue Apr 07, 2015 5:35 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
I'd be disinclined to let anyone sit in jail over a traffic ticket, let alone someone I care about.

Clayton's failure to deal with the ticket (there's no way he "kinda forgot about it"--it's wish casting) is very childish and immature. And that's how I'd handle it.

I'll go down, pay the fine, and bail him out to take him home. I don't think this is switching behavior, which. for me (having never either felt or used one) would be the nuclear option.

His ears will burn all the way home, though it sounds like he already knows he really screwed up. Once home, he'll get the "act like a little boy, get treated like a little boy" talk. It will be a very juvenile spanking., adjusted for age and size. He'll have done $305.00 worth of hard crying by the time I stop.

3 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Tue Apr 07, 2015 5:47 pm

Padraig


Trailboss
I'm sorry but I can't really connect to the situation since it simply can't happen in my country. No way a first time offender would face jail over a traffic ticket. But after I saw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UjpmT5noto I do believe everything - and makes me less inclined to visit the US ever...  Mad  

Please excuse my rant - I'm glad to be part of this great community. No offense meant to everyone.

Very good looking lad, btw.

4 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Tue Apr 07, 2015 6:07 pm

kalico


Sherrif
scratch I'm torn with agreeing with Kier or saying yes he has earned the switch....

my thinking is that if he would have came and told me then yes something like what kier has said but I'm leaning towards the harsher. He didn't saying anything and didn't pay so now it has gotten way out of control and he needs to learn a lesson so it never happens again.



hugs kal

5 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Tue Apr 07, 2015 6:48 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
kalico wrote:scratch  I'm torn with agreeing with Kier or saying yes he has earned the switch....

my thinking is that if he would have came and told me then yes something like what kier has said but I'm leaning towards the harsher. He didn't saying anything and didn't pay so now it has gotten way out of control and he needs to learn a lesson so it never happens again.



hugs kal
I'm thinking ditto to this.

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6 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:05 pm

mahoover


Cowboy
I'm pretty much in agreement with Kier. I will go down to the station and pay off the ticket/fine. Then take Clayton home discuss how we are going to handle this. I am inclined to pay half of the original ticket and work out a payment plan for the rest. And instead of the paddling my other son got, Clayton will get an upgrade. I will talk it over with Clayton and come to an agreement what form the upgrade will take. It might be the switch instead of the paddle, or it might be more swats of the paddle combined with a day in isolation. But I will listen to what Clayton has to say, and see what he suggests.

7 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Tue Apr 07, 2015 8:52 pm

StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Oh, dear...

What a beautiful young man... I'd hate to think what might befall that gorgeous bottom in the slammer...

I'll pay the fine and spring him, hopefully before anything untoward happens in the gaol.

We'll determine a suitable penance later...

Stevie.

8 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:00 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
StevieWeeks wrote:
I'll pay the fine and spring him, hopefully before anything untoward happens in the gaol.

We'll determine a suitable penance later...


I agree. My goal is to get him out of jail. I need to think on this and need a little time.


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9 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:40 pm

talebearer


Cowboy
David M. Katz wrote:
StevieWeeks wrote:
I'll pay the fine and spring him, hopefully before anything untoward happens in the gaol.

We'll determine a suitable penance later...


I agree.  My goal is to get him out of jail.  I need to think on this and need a little time.

Agree. Get him out and then figure it out. Due process is better at home.

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10 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Wed Apr 08, 2015 2:33 am

Kai


Deputy
talebearer wrote:
David M. Katz wrote:
StevieWeeks wrote:
I'll pay the fine and spring him, hopefully before anything untoward happens in the gaol.

We'll determine a suitable penance later...

I agree.  My goal is to get him out of jail.  I need to think on this and need a little time.
Agree. Get him out and then figure it out. Due process is better at home.
Agree too.
First we need to get out of really d**p sh*t. That is something we do like a family does - together.
Then we have all the time to sort out necessary consequences.
He NEEDS to learn (and SHOULD have learnt over the last two years) that he is not expected to solve his problems all alone. But he IS expected to take responsibility and ask for help and advise.
So there is need for lots of talking and lots of "talking". But he needs to understand he gets punished for the ticket but is in a sh*tload of trouble for deliberately letting the situation escalate this far.

11 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Wed Apr 08, 2015 2:38 am

ivor


Marshall
I agree with Kier.

He has buried his head in the sand over the ticket hoping it would somehow go away which rather left his butt exposed. It has now come back to bite him. Once we got the problem sorted out officially then his butt will be exposed again while I try to lick some sense into him.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

12 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Wed Apr 08, 2015 4:20 am

Jack


Admin
Padraig wrote:I'm sorry but I can't really connect to the situation since it simply can't happen in my country. No way a first time offender would face jail over a traffic ticket.

For the record, while the details vary by jurisdiction, if you do not pay a fine, then a warrant is issued for you (automatically, I believe).  In the larger jurisdictions, they normally just stay on your record, and nothing happens, unless you're stopped by an officer again.  I know in the DFW area, they make a concerted effort to pick up violators once a year, just to clear the backlog.  

From what I understand, many places will take someone in, then a payment schedule will be arranged and they'll be released with a warning as soon as they can see a judge.  Technically, however, they can be held.  I think they're credited $75 a day, which means Clay would have faced five days to clear his sentence, which would have included the Monday, so if a person in that situation was held, they would probably have been released Friday.

Factual Correction:

In chat yesterday, someone expressed surprise at Clayton being 20.  I went to look, and the reason they were surprised is because he's not 20.  Not only that, but Clayton has only lived with me about a year and a half.  

I have no idea why I made that error.  The honest truth is that I do have a pretty good memory, but there are some things it's just hard to keep track of.  In this case, I think it was due to two facts.  Since moving in here, Clayton has become close friends with Daniel, who is a sophomore in college, and who will be 20 in about 2 months.  Also, Clayton moved in here in 2013, and I think I just remembered that and thought '13 to 15 - two years', without bothering with those pesky months.

The bad part of that is it means that Clayton hasn't been well-behaved for nearly as long as I was crediting him with. However, the fact that he's still a teenager might explain why a cop came to the house, instead of waiting for him to be randomly picked up at some future point.


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13 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Wed Apr 08, 2015 8:57 am

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm pretty much in agreement with Kier, though I don't think I'd be quite as harsh. I'd probably just take out the school-style paddle and give him five or six hefty swats with it, just to get his attention.

Kat

14 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Wed Apr 08, 2015 5:15 pm

Jack


Admin
It seems that Kier either knows me very well or that we think alike, except I doubt I did '$305 worth of spanking'.

What I did do was to bare him myself, put him over my lap, and give him a deluxe, double-pattern with the Little Lexan. Combined with the fact that he knew he'd screwed up, and that I was obviously unhappy with him, it was enough to have him bawling.

The reason I didn't consider Kat's options (though I think I would have given more than five or six swats, but that might be because he used the word 'hefty'), is because Clay had had the money to pay the ticket and he didn't. I understand that he wanted to pay off his share of their trip, but if he'd come to me, we would have worked something out. The other thing is, he could have gone to the courthouse and arranged payments.

I suppose the 'logical consequence' would have been to make him cancel those plans, since he paid for them with money that should have paid for the ticket, but that's just hateful to me. Instead, between being taken to jail, then having me blister his rear, I think enough impression and more was made.

On the other hand, while this has never really occurred before (I think because I talk to the boys about tickets when they first receive their driver's licenses), I'm going to get a bit more specific about how to deal with tickets, with his little brothers.


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

15 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Thu Apr 09, 2015 4:47 pm

Iconoclast


Trailboss
Since I have the $305 of coarse I will pay the ticket today.  Because Clayton already works for me I will take the money out of his pay, no problem.

However this indecent will be an excellent time for me to impress on Clayton the fact that  THE GOVERNMENT IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!!  We are all taught that debtors prison is not legal in the U.S; this means it is not legal for the government either, under the doctrine of "equal protection of the law".

This event is a perfect demonstration that the GOVERNMENT DOES NOT OBEY IT'S OWN LAWS!

THE WORD FOR THIS IS TYRANNY!!

Iconoclast

16 Re: BOTD 8 April 2015: An Aid in Remembering on Fri Apr 10, 2015 12:49 pm

squarecutter


Sherrif
The sadness is he couldn't come clean and so made the matter worse. I will pay this fine off rather than see him locked but I will also ask the police to show him what his future accomodation could look like. . In keeping with my feeling about speeding tickets but for holding this back Clayton and for the original speeding Clayton will be getting an enhanced paddling  and will be paying back in extra chores and reduced allowance

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