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5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore

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1 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Thu May 07, 2015 5:19 pm

Jack


Admin
Your 13-year old son, Van, is a very talented boy with many interests: he's a good student; he loves animals and is good at caring for them and training them; he enjoys art; he has many standard; boyish interests; but he especially loves playing the piano.  As a matter of fact, he sometimes enjoys playing the piano too much, and you've made sure to explain to him that, while he can do things in the order he wishes, he's responsible for getting everything - practice, homework, and chores - all done in a timely manner.

While Van has many admirable traits, one thing that's often bothered you about him is when mules and rocks stop by to get hints on how to be really stubborn.  That tendency lead to many sore bottoms for Van.  Over the years, you learned to look for the signs of him 'stubborning up', and you'd point out to him when he was about to get himself into trouble.  It didn't always work, but he became better at spotting the signs for himself, and things improved a lot....

Until he reached his teens.


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Van was practicing late this evening.   When you remind him he needs to get his chores and homework done, and that they're really supposed to be done by 8pm (which it nearly is), his response is "I know, Dad.  I'll do it."

The tone of voice is not one you appreciate, but you blow it off, and head off to get his little brothers to bed.


****

It's just after 9pm, the littles are tucked into bed, or headed that way soon (depending upon how little), and you go to check on Van again.  He is in his room this time, as opposed to downstairs at the piano, but he's sitting at his keyboard with the headphones on.

It takes you to get his attention, but he stops, giving you an exasperated look, making sure you know what a hassle you are, and then takes off his head phones.

"Chores and homework done?" you ask.

"I said I'd do them."

"I know you're working on a new song, Van, but I don't want to have to give you chore strikes, and I think it'll take more than 15 or 20 minutes to do your homework, so why don't you get started now?"

"I'll start when I'm finished with this!"

Is he finished with that?


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2 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Thu May 07, 2015 5:45 pm

mahoover


Cowboy
I think I will remind him that chores and homework are supposed to be done by 8pm so they are already late. I will tell him that if chores aren't done by bed time he gets a strike for each, and if homework isn't done he is getting a spanking. And I will be checking both his chores and his homework folder. Hopefully he will take the hint, otherwise he can go to bed with a sore bottom.

3 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Thu May 07, 2015 5:45 pm

Iconoclast


Trailboss
As I do not play the piano I do not know if practice need concentration, or can be interrupted for a while. So the chores can wait!

Iconoclast

4 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Thu May 07, 2015 7:05 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
 I think what I would do is assign a chore strike and let whatever happens from that happen.  I would stop the "practice" and demand that homework be done and then he can go to bed.  Any more 'tude or resistance will earn a sore rear.

For the next foreseeable future it will be required that he do chores and homework BEFORE piano.



Last edited by David M. Katz on Thu May 07, 2015 7:43 pm; edited 1 time in total


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5 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Thu May 07, 2015 7:41 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
That kind of concentration may serve him well in the future should he "make it" as a musician. But I well remember my dad telling me you could be a "pretty good" professional (doctor, lawyer, CPA, whatever) and make a good living and have the respect of the community, but "Son, there's no bum in the world like a pretty good musician."

Meanwhile, Van is 13. School is his job--and therefore, his priority. Even if it isn't as much fun as playing piano or writing songs. Chores are also his priority, and they're late. I've already reminded him about his chores, which are already late, and suggested he get started on his homework. Most of you have heard what happened to me at a little younger than 13 when I said "I'd do it".

So, long story short, he's finished. He has two choices--he can do his chores and homework now without a sore bottom, or he can continue to argue, and still do them, but with a very sore one.

6 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Thu May 07, 2015 9:58 pm

kalico


Sherrif
At this point I think he needs some corner time so we both can cool off and I'm hopeful he will calm down with the teen tude and see that I'm being nice and so he will do the chores and home work but if not then sore booty it is but one thing he is done with the piano and anything to do with it for the night....

Tomorrow I will make it known that he is to have everything done before I see him on the piano or anything to do with writing songs until I feel he gets his priorities back on track...



Hugs kal

7 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Fri May 08, 2015 2:26 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
I can't add anything to Doc's succinct analysis

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8 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Fri May 08, 2015 2:30 am

ivor


Marshall
I'm I Doc's corner too as the situation seems pretty black and white to me.

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9 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Fri May 08, 2015 2:34 am

David M. Katz


Marshall
ivor wrote:the situation seems pretty black and white to me.

That is a good way to set the tone. Your answer is right on beat.


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10 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Fri May 08, 2015 2:54 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
David M. Katz wrote:  I think what I would do is assign a chore strike and let whatever happens from that happen.  I would stop the "practice" and demand that homework be done and then he can go to bed.  Any more 'tude or resistance will earn a sore rear.

For the next foreseeable future it will be required that he do chores and homework BEFORE piano.

I agree with that and continued attitude will make things worse for Van. I also epect it to be properly done and not a rush job

11 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Fri May 08, 2015 3:11 am

Pi Beta


Deputy
I'm going to pick him up physically and give him a big hug before announcing that I'm giving him a strike but not an immediate spanking.

Knowing that many musicians, even of that age, who make a success of a musical career will spend 6 - 8 hours a day practising, I've got some sympathy for him, but he does need to balance all he needs to do. I would try to restrict his chores mainly to personal ones rather than group ones, though this will need some explaining to the rest of the boys.

12 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Fri May 08, 2015 3:46 am

Jack


Admin
AFinch wrote:Even if it isn't as much fun as playing piano or writing songs.

kalico wrote: anything to do with writing songs until I feel he gets his priorities back on track...

Just for the record, Van isn't actually writing a song. He's trying to work out a piano version of a song he likes.


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13 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Fri May 08, 2015 3:51 am

Kai


Deputy
I'll better stick to the Doctors prescription ...

14 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Fri May 08, 2015 3:52 am

Jack


Admin
Pi Beta wrote:Knowing that many musicians, even of that age, who make a success of a musical career will spend 6 - 8 hours a day practising, I've got some sympathy for him, but he does need to balance all he needs to do.

The problem, in this case, is that Van hasn't decided a musical career is what he wants. At this point, he's specifically decided he doesn't want to go off to a school where he can specialize in music and would be able to spend that kind of time practicing.

Pi Beta wrote:I would try to restrict his chores mainly to personal ones rather than group ones, though this will need some explaining to the rest of the boys.

I'm not sure what you mean by group chores. I do have some chores, like setting before meals or cleaning up after that are usually done by more than one boy. On the other hand, there are chores that tend to rotate around between everyone (as do the meal-related chores, for that matter). I'd assume you mean one of those.

Most of Van's chores already are not of that type. While all the boys are required to help with the animals, and they're required to do all the regular work on their own pet (for those that have them), Van does most of the work on the family animals, and he helps with meals. The only other chores he's required to do (on a regular basis) are doing his part of cleaning the bathroom he shares and the ones for his own room/stuff - trash, laundry, and cleaning his own mess.


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15 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Fri May 08, 2015 4:09 pm

Jack


Admin
This is frustrating for me, because whenever Van brings his Russian up, it gets my Irish up. I have to be very careful to be sure that I'm being fair to him.

Shockingly enough, Icono hit on the reason why I dealt with things as I did (though he then went off in a random direction).

If Van had still been practicing piano, I would have (probably) done about why Pi said. However, Van left the piano (presumably straightening and putting things away as he normally does), then came upstairs, laid things out on his keyboard, hooked it up, and went back to work.

If he'd done homework or chores - either one - during that break, I would have been much less upset. As it was, I suggested he turn the keyboard off before I took it out of his room, then get his paddle, because we had some business to deal with.

It's a shame that it sometimes has to reach that point for a boy to realize how serious we are, but sometimes it happens. I pointed out that he had not only disobeyed me several times, but not doing homework and chores had technically put him at three strikes as well. I 'let him' get away with 'just' a standard spanking, but I made sure he understood that part of me felt like I was letting him off easy.

I doubt his rear felt that it was getting off easy, but he's had enough deluxe sessions, he was probably happy for what he got.


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16 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Fri May 08, 2015 6:10 pm

talebearer


Cowboy
Agree with AFinch. Van's concentration is admirable, but music might not be his profession and in most lines of work, and in school, a deadline is a deadline. I will say that his switching to keyboard and headphones, rather than pounding on the piano late while the others are trying to sleep, may have been an attempt at accommodation, and not subterfuge. But he does have to ration his time, schedule things, so Jack does have a point.

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17 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Sat May 09, 2015 3:23 am

Jack


Admin
talebearer wrote: I will say that his switching to keyboard and headphones, rather than pounding on the piano late while the others are trying to sleep, may have been an attempt at accommodation, and not subterfuge.

I should probably have included this in the original scenario, but the keyboard is in his bedroom. The piano is downstairs in the game room, so more than just a quick bench hop was required.


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18 Re: 5/8/15 BOTD - Practice Makes Sore on Sun May 10, 2015 9:29 pm

Stone Man


Marshall
Show me in the Kier camp for Van.

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