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BOTD 05-29-2014 James At 8 - A John Ross Production

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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
James at 8
A John Ross Production


Your 8 year old son James has been attending a summer daycare. He did not want to go but due to your work schedule you were only able to arrange someone to watch him two days a week, Thursday and Friday.

He spends the other three days at the summer daycare. You explained to him that he would probably have fun and make friends and that you were sorry you couldn't make other arrangements. The first week went pretty well he had some fun and didn't get any pink notes. A pink note is given when a child has done something wrong and the parents need to be informed.

However Tuesday when you picked him up the staff in the afternoon, who isn't the same staff as the morning, tells you that he had issues listening to the teachers and was being rude and disruptive to the other children. You take James home and discuss with him appropriate behavior you tell him you are letting him off this time because you know he didn't want to go, but the next time you get a bad report he is getting spanked.


James
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James is clearly scared and agrees. When you drop him off Wednesday morning the head of the program comes to see you and apologizes but says that there was a miscommunication between the morning and afternoon staff and she hands you a pink note. It says that during the day your son was talking inappropriately, refusing to do what he was told, and making fun of a special needs child. Even though you had the talk, will there be spanking?



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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
No spanking but another talk for sure.


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David M. Katz


Marshall
Making fun of the special needs child is the proverbial straw for me. Had that been included with the pink notes yesterday then it would have bought a spanking and so it will today.


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Jack


Admin
I have a couple of problems with this.

First, 'a miscommunication'? Dealing with these children is their one job, and they don't have a system to make sure I'm informed of what's going on?

Second, of the six things mentioned, five of them are very generic, as well as being things that the day care staff is being paid to deal with. Even 'being making fun of a special needs child' is extremely vague. Was he telling an ADHD boy that his shirt was ugly?

What really bothers me is that all this happened in one day, after a week of things going well. Rather than threatening him, I think I should have tried harder to find out why his behavior was out of line the day before. I'm going to do that now.

While making fun of another boy would have (and might still) earn him an instant spanking, my feeling is that I need to make sure there wasn't something inciting this behavior or if he was just unhappy and acting out, before I make any final decision on warming his bottom.


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ivor


Marshall
I'm inclined to agree with Jack on this situation. Having had no problems for the first week we now have a whole catalogue of them on just one day. I reckon something must have triggered that and I need to find out what before deciding on any action.

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squarecutter


Sherrif
I agree with Jack on this. I need to clarify first that this is the same complaint or a fresh crime If James was causing real distress to a special needs child and as Jack pointed out we don't know this childs condition or needs it will be a cause for spanking otherwise I will reinforce our little talk.

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm jumping on the Jack bandwagon also.

Kat

MemoryMan


Sherrif
What happened Tuesday was dealt with on Tuesday.  I will certainly discuss the new information and warn the consequences of repetition.

Another pink note, on another day is what will be needed to trigger a spanking.

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talebearer


Cowboy
Agree w/Jack. This needs investigating. It may still be misbehavior by your son or the pink notes may have been making a bigger deal out of normal childish activity. You might want to check with whoever looks after the boy on Thursdays and Fridays to compare before you act; you might also want to see what's different about Tuesday afternoons at the center.

Also, look at the fact pattern. You already warned the boy about his misbehavior on Tuesday, and the Wednesday morning pink slip is for the same incident. This is not the "next time," so a spanking is not in order. This time.



Last edited by talebearer on Fri May 29, 2015 12:19 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : Tuesday.)

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1strappedboy


Sherrif
Sorry gang, but I must disagree.  As it was in my childhood home it is now (though MUCH less severe) and would be here:  Trouble @ school = Trouble @ home!!  I find it particularly disturbing that he's teasing a 'special needs' kid.

The younger they understand the concept the fewer troubles there have seemed to be.

Iconoclast


Trailboss
The pink note says that during the day your son was talking inappropriately, refusing to do what he was told, and making fun of a special needs child.  Just because that is on the paper that does not make it so!  Just what is "making fun of a special needs child"?  There are likewise NO details, which could be checked, on the other charges either!

I would not even consider any punishments whatsoever based on this note not even a lecture!

But I would consider removing my son from this program!

Iconoclast

Stone Man


Marshall
I need more info.

I'm with Jack.

Kittykat


Deputy
I never thought I'd say it, but I agree with Icono. 

This is a daycare program, not SCHOOL. It's summer, kids are supposed to be kids and if he's being made to go to this program all summer, I want to know (And should know already) What exactly they expect from him.  I may be looking into a different daycare. And considering most daycares don't take in Special Needs children with severe disabilities unless they're put into a separate room, what exactly constitutes special needs and what was said that was "Making fun of" him.

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