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16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination

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1 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:22 pm

Jack


Admin
Self-Incrimination
a Jack Production

Today your sons - Jaime (13) and Luis (14) road their bikes to the skate park.  You gave them some money to get lunch.

When you get home and check your Facebook, you find them tagged in this picture.


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The problem is that, while you didn't specify where they could or should go for lunch, this taco place is definitely out of bounds for them, since they have to cross the highway to get there.  You might have been willing to let them go there if they'd asked, but that's normally a busy area anyway, and the construction occurring now makes it worse.

When you feel the need to impose consequences, you've used both various kinds of restrictions as well as corporal punishment.  Is it time to trot one of those out, will you just talk to them, or will you pretend you never saw the picture at all?


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
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2 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Mon Jun 15, 2015 5:30 pm

Pi Beta


Deputy
I'll start by asking them in all innocence (!) where they went for lunch and take it from there depending upon their answers. If they confess to having gone there, it will be my tongue that does all the talking; if they lie to me, it will be my belt. I probably won't remove their bikes from them - I'd rather they were out getting some exercise than in front of a screen!

3 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Mon Jun 15, 2015 6:00 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
Ditto PiBeta

4 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Mon Jun 15, 2015 6:55 pm

Y Lee Coyote


Cowboy
I got two more issues to clear up before it is decision time.

#1: Did they have their safety gear for both biking and skateboarding?  I don't see no [sic] helmets (e.g.) in that picture.

#2: Need to find out if the construction work provided a safe crossing.  I can see that happening if traffic was reduced to one lane switching directions.  Or there an ped bridge now available.  If so, they get a pass on that item.

Y.

http://www.asstr.org/~YLeeCoyote/

5 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Mon Jun 15, 2015 8:09 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
I'm going to leave the family computer on with that pic open and see what reaction comes and then talk to them about what should happen.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=John+Boy

6 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Mon Jun 15, 2015 9:57 pm

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I don't like setting someone up to lie, so I'll follow JB's lead: I'll show them the picture and ask for an explanation. If they disobeyed, they're toast. (I think Y's second point needs to be considered.)

Kat

7 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:38 am

ivor


Marshall
I'm with JB & Kat. I ought not resort to underhand tactics in order to find out what happened.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

8 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:58 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Its a wake-up call for me.  

The boys are teenagers, they are capable of independent thought and judgement and any (in their view childish and unnecessary) restrictions I put on them will simply be ignored.  If they are punished when caught the punishment imposed will likely only serve to diminish me in their eyes.

I'm going to show them the picture then sit down with them to discuss and review all their current restrictions and agree with them which should still stand - and why.  

Should we disagree and I feel the need to overrule them my reasons will be clearly explained.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

9 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:16 pm

Iconoclast


Trailboss
I agree with Memory Man above!

Iconoclast

10 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Tue Jun 16, 2015 2:33 pm

Jack


Admin
I'm afraid I can't agree with MM or Icono. As a parent, part of my job is to teach them to function in society. Just because they don't like the speed limit doesn't mean they won't be punished if they're caught violating it, and I need to make them understand that - as well as the fact that, whether they like it or agree with it, most rules are there for a reason.

I honestly think I'd talk to the boys about why they did this, and both how and why it violated the rules. I would also give them a chance to explain how they'd safely crossed. In general, I fill like that a medium consequence of two or three swats is called for. Enough to let them know I'm not happy with their actions, and that they need to consider before breaking the rules, but not enough that they'll think it's a capital case.


_________________
"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

11 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Wed Jun 17, 2015 4:49 am

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Jack wrote:I'm afraid I can't agree with MM or Icono.  As a parent, part of my job is to teach them to function in society.  Just because they don't like the speed limit doesn't mean they won't be punished if they're caught violating it, and I need to make them understand that - as well as the fact that, whether they like it or agree with it, most rules are there for a reason.

I honestly think I'd talk to the boys about why they did this, and both how and why it violated the rules.  I would also give them a chance to explain how they'd safely crossed.  In general, I fill like that a medium consequence of two or three swats is called for.  Enough to let them know I'm not happy with their actions, and that they need to consider before breaking the rules, but not enough that they'll think it's a capital case.

Still on the statute book are some ancient outdated laws that have lapsed and never been formally repealed.  Laws that are no longer observed or enforced.

My "Wake Up" moment was sparked by the realisation that this situation was getting too close to home; for if my boys have reached the ripe old age of thirteen without having already been taught to negotiate public thoroughfares and to cross busy highways safely I would consider myself to be guilty of a grave dereliction of my parental duty.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

12 Re: 16 June 2015 - Self-Incrimination on Thu Jun 18, 2015 11:09 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
JB has it. They may not be sitting comfortably on their bikes for a while

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