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BOTD 06-19-2015 Do You Do IT? A DMK Production

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Bransom Postmaster
A DMK Production

Your fourteen year old son, Kyle, is typically very well behaved.  Kyle has not needed a spanking or any sort of punishment in a little over two years. For the past few days Kyle has not been his normally happy and outgoing self.  It is obvious that Kyle has something on his mind but he does not take you up on your offer to "talk about it." You tell Kyle you are available if he needs to talk - about anything.

KYLE - 14
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This evening you are relaxing in the den when Kyle comes to you in tears.  You notice Kyle is holding the paddle that you used to use to spank him with.

Kyle pleads with you to spank him.  Kyle says he "really messed up" and "the guilt is killing him." You ask Kyle what he did but he says he can't bring himself to tell you.  Kyle says it won't happen again but he knows he has to be punished and that if you knew that you would definitely spank him.  You continue to try to get Kyle to give you the details but he says he just can't do it.  Kyle hands you the paddle and starts unzipping his shorts.  "Please, just do it."

Do you do it?

Can you dig it?





Not until you know why. And "why" can be a very long talk indeed.

David M. Katz

I am going to go a bit opposite of Stevie and Talebearer.

Kyle is a good kid who is in distress. Perhaps his "crime" isn't really a big deal and, if it were something major, I would have most likely gotten word of it.

The biggest concerns are:

1. Is he a budding spanko? Time will tell.

2. Spanking him unjustly. It isn't unjust in that he thinks it is justified.

I will give Kyle a few token moderate swats. I doubt it will take much to get him really crying and that is all he needs.

I think to not spank him in this case may actually be cruel.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


I hardly ever disagree with DMK. And maybe this time I don't exactly either.

But I'm not spanking him until I know, at least in general terms, just what it is that he's done.

David M. Katz

AFinch wrote:I hardly ever disagree with DMK.  And maybe this time I don't exactly either.

But I'm not spanking him until I know, at least in general terms, just what it is that he's done.

I can go with "general terms." I think Kyle would be willing to meet me in the middle and tell me "sort of" what it is he has done.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.


That would be very, very difficult problem for me. I would Kyle tell, that I have a problem to spank him when I did not know why. May be, if Kyle can not speak about his problem, he can write it on a paper.


Editor Extraordinaire
I see a few problems with honoring Kyle's request. The first is that I'm not at all sure I would spank him for what he has done. Kids often have mistaken ideas about adults' reactions. The second problem is that if I spank him for some unknown reason, how can I give him a proportionate spanking; and what happens if I later discover his misdeed and the spanking was either too harsh or too lenient?

Clearly Kyle has a bad conscience about something, but I don't think I'd do him any favors by punishing him. A spanking might serve as a sort of spiritual Band-aid, but I suspect what he really needs is not punishment but counsel -- and perhaps absolution. Punishment is only healing when connected with forgiveness.  

If he can't talk to me, then perhaps there is someone else in whom he can confide. If he has no confidant, then I'll ask him to write me a letter, which might be a less threatening way of communicating.



I echo Kat's response.

Based on the fact that Kyle has done nothing in the last couple of years that has merited a spanking (and by assumption that is also nothing that has merited any other form of punishment) it does appear that he has done something major. Are there any crimes that have been committed in the neighbourhood recently that remain unsolved I wonder?

If there isn't a grandfather, uncle or family friend that he could talk to then I do need to sit down with Kyle and get him to tell me at least something as to the nature of the problem before I consider paddling him. While Kyle considers he needs punishing I have to know what he has done in order to ensure that the punishment fits the crime.


I'm going to explain to explain to Kyle that I have always tried to be fair with him, and I've tried very hard not to punish him when I wasn't sure he deserved it. Even if someone else complained about his behavior, I always evaluated the evidence before making a decision.

I see no reason to change this policy now.

I am more than willing to sit down and talk to him. If he still doesn't want to discuss what he did that he thinks is so terrible, I'll talk to him about dealing with guilt. Unless he wants to give me more than this, I just can't see it as a spanking offense.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."


I'm going to sit Kyle down beside me and put my arm round him as I tell him that I'm proud to have him as my son.  That his demeanour over the last day or two had told me that he has done something wrong and is deeply troubled by his conscience.  That he has now come to me asking to be punished for it has just made me even more proud of him.

I'll also tell him that from time to time we all (me included) do things out of character that we are subsequently ashamed of and that I'm deeply disappointed now that he doesn't now trust me enough to realise that whatever his deed it won't diminish what I think of him as a person.

I'll tell him that if he tells me about it that I'll still love him just as much as before no matter what he's done; but that even if I were to spank him as he asks without knowing why that it still may not help his conscience since punishment is not the same as atonement.  If he tells me now he may still end up getting spanked but then we'll be able to look at his problem together to find ways of putting things right.

I'll end my telling him that if he's too embarrassed to tell me face to face he can write me a note.  

Then I'll wait with the fingers still encircling him firmly crossed but whatever his response I won't be spanking him without knowing why.

Y Lee Coyote

I have to go along with << I need to know why I'm spanking him and that it not necessarily the solution to his guilt problem >> that have been expressed in various ways already.

One thought is if our protocol was Q&A as << Drop shorts; over lap; gentle spank; why are you getting this spanking? >> it might force the explanation or a hint.  The question could be repeated.

One line that has stuck with me for decades from a TV show was: "A man must punish himself."  I don't like it since he is so young but maybe.

A very tough problem.


Pi Beta

I think I would try to elicit responses to specific questions such as:

Have you killed anyone?
Does this relate to dishonesty?
Is this a relationship issue?
Does this relate to any sexual feelings?

I might not get answers but should at least get some indication from his body language and some of these might set my miond at rest - BUT, I'm not punishing him without known reason.


I'm in agreement with the no spankings until I get more info....

Hugs kal

Last edited by kalico on Sun Jun 21, 2015 12:14 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Stupid autocorrect)

John Boy

kalico wrote:I'm in agreement with the no speakers until I get more info....

Hugs kal


Nothing involving a spanking can be so bad that Kyle cannot tell me. Spankings are for kids who messed up and telling me what he did should be well within Kyles compass if he is brave enough to ask for a paddling. So no, Kyle has to unburden it all before I think about what to do about it. May be he is afraid it will take more than a paddling or a bigger paddle than he used to getbut he needs to come clean

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