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BOTD 10 August 2015: "Whose Choice?" a Kat Production

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Jack


Admin
Whose Choice?
A Kat Production

You’re the assistant principal at Lincoln Middle School. Having recently married a widowed person with a thirteen-year-old son, Kyle, you find yourself not only stepfather but also school disciplinarian for the boy. You’ve left domestic discipline in the hands of your spouse, who disapproves of corporal punishment. Lincoln Middle School does allow corporal punishment, but only with the approval of the parent(s). The school also uses CP mostly as a voluntary alternative to detention.

KYLE - 13
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Today Kyle is facing you for some horseplay in one of his classes. You don’t consider the behavior too serious, so you assign him a detention. Kyle then informs you, “But I’d rather take the swats.” (Two swats is the usual tariff for getting out of a detention.) You demur on the basis that he has no parental permission on file. Kyle insists that as his stepfather, you can give the necessary permission. You are on file as a guardian. As you start to explain that it is against your spouse’s wishes, Kyle interrupts: “Come on, Dad – it’s MY choice. We don’t have to say anything at home. ”

Will you be taking out your paddle or does Kyle need to plan on detention?


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
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Padraig


Trailboss
Well, I think, he has a point. It's not his fault my spouse and I didn't clear the matter of school cp before.

Y Lee Coyote


Cowboy
So many conflicts that need to be resolved.

*  Kyle is going to be seen as a wuss taking a detention rather than a couple of swats.

*  Keeping secrets in the family is sure to cause trouble.

* I'm going to be less effective if I don't give Kyle, my step-son, swats like everyone else because my wife rules the roost.

Kyle is right about taking the swats or he's going to be in a lot of conflicts and my authority will be less effective.  Two swats coming up.

Now back home, there has to be equal parental responsibility.  Kyle is past being the baby in the nursery just being raised by women and I got to be a real father showing him how to be a man.  This is a showdown that is very late in coming.

Y

EDIT:  Ooops -- I assumed the spouse is female but that was not specified.  That makes some changes but the general ideas still hold.

http://www.asstr.org/~YLeeCoyote/

Surfer


Dude
Unfortunately I'm not Kyle's biological parent and only recently married into his family. He's going to take the detention this time until there is a better understanding about his discipline. Sorry Kyle, bit I can't always give you everything you want (or what I want)

ivor


Marshall
Either Kyle has never been in this situation at school n the past (unlikely) or he sees this as his opportunity to put a stop to the ribbing he has lived with from his pals for taking detentions instead.

I think at 13 he is old enough to have his own say as to what his punishment should be.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=Ivor+slipper

squarecutter


Sherrif
Yep YLC the genders of the Asst Principal and the other person in Kyles life are not defined though as if I am the direct disciplinarian I am more likely to be male in the school situaton as I don't know if many teen boys get paddled by female high school administrators. Ultimately I think all we can do is argue this one out at home as, probably a 2 on 1 as Kyle certainly has a right to get his point across about what his peers might think and the matter of detenton/grounding over CP. Kyle will have to accept it if my new spouse wont shift his/her/position

MemoryMan


Sherrif
I am not Kyle's father and I only recently married into the family.  I am aware of my new wife's views on cp and the way to resolve conflict is in a three way discussion, not by unilateral action on my part..  It looks as though we also need to come to an agreement on my future role in disciplinary matters at home.

Sorry Kyle, you'll have to serve your detention this time but we'll both have a discussion with your mother and resolve the issue for the future.

http://www.malespank.net/listAuthor.php?author=MemoryMan

Jack


Admin
The most hilarious thing in this scenario is the idea that I would have married into it without resolving all this beforehand.

In Texas, at least, a step-parent is a legal parent, with the rights and responsibilities that entails, so I'm not worried about giving permission for the paddling. What I am worried about is that my spouse is apparently against CP, and I'm not going to knowlingly go against that without an agreement, and especially not sneaking around to do it.

I'm going to delay the punishment today, and we'll have a family discussion tonight. Kyle and I will present our feelings. Of course, Kyle will also be made to understand that this won't be a one time thing - either at home or at school. If he wants me to take over his discipline, that's how it's going to be presented, and how it will happen.


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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
Jack wrote:Of course, Kyle will also be made to understand that this won't be a one time thing - either at home or at school. If he wants me to take over his discipline, that's how it's going to be presented, and how it will happen.

He hasn't asked you to take over his discipline. At the school, it's your job. He has only asked that you sign off on corporal punishment at school as his stepparent so that he can exercise the same choice as other kids. Also keep in mind that the school district's use of CP is mostly limited to voluntary choice. Is it fair for Kyle to lose all future choice at school if he presses to choose CP on this occasion?

Squarecutter wrote:Yep, YLC, the genders of the Asst Principal and the other person in Kyle's life are not defined; though as if I am the direct disciplinarian, I am more likely to be male in the school situation, as I don't know if many teen boys get paddled by female high school administrators.

Squarecutter, I agree the situation would be rare, but in at least some school districts in Texas, it would be a possibility. A couple of years ago, a local school district changed its policy to allow opposite sex administrators to paddle students after a male vice principal violated the existing policy by paddling a female student. I deliberately left the sex of the parents vague so that all responders can fit themselves into the situation. I have no particular sexual dynamic between the parents in mind.

Kat

Emlyn Morgan


Trailboss
I won't proceed until a family discussion and agreement.

kalico


Sherrif
Ditto jack


Hugs kal

Jack


Admin
Kat wrote:
Jack wrote:Of course, Kyle will also be made to understand that this won't be a one time thing - either at home or at school. If he wants me to take over his discipline, that's how it's going to be presented, and how it will happen.

He hasn't asked you to take over his discipline. At the school, it's your job. He has only asked that you sign off on corporal punishment at school as his stepparent so that he can exercise the same choice as other kids. Also keep in mind that the school district's use of CP is mostly limited to voluntary choice. Is it fair for Kyle to lose all future choice at school if he presses to choose CP on this occasion?

The problem with this argument, Kat, is that you're assuming most of the other parents have given permission. That's not indicated anywhere in the scenario. As far as I can see, I don't know how many of the other kids have this option. And if it's really a question of 'fairness', then why paddle some kids but not others? The simple fact is that his biological parent -my spouse - has already made the decision. I would have no problem with it if the decision hadn't been made, but I don't feel it's right for me to overturn it without input.

For that matter, wasn't it you who said in the past that you wouldn't do something like this, because you'd be giving (the kid) blackmail material over you?


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"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."
http://bransomtx.forumotion.net

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
Jack wrote:
Kat wrote:
Jack wrote:Of course, Kyle will also be made to understand that this won't be a one time thing - either at home or at school. If he wants me to take over his discipline, that's how it's going to be presented, and how it will happen.

He hasn't asked you to take over his discipline. At the school, it's your job. He has only asked that you sign off on corporal punishment at school as his stepparent so that he can exercise the same choice as other kids. Also keep in mind that the school district's use of CP is mostly limited to voluntary choice. Is it fair for Kyle to lose all future choice at school if he presses to choose CP on this occasion?

The problem with this argument, Kat, is that you're assuming most of the other parents have given permission.  That's not indicated anywhere in the scenario.  As far as I can see, I don't know how many of the other kids have this option.  And if it's really a question of 'fairness', then why paddle some kids but not others?  The simple fact is that his biological parent -my spouse - has already made the decision.  I would have no problem with it if the decision hadn't been made, but I don't feel it's right for me to overturn it without input.

For that matter, wasn't it you who said in the past that you wouldn't do something like this, because you'd be giving (the kid) blackmail material over you?

scratch Jack, I'm not sure what argument you think I'm making. I've seen good cases for and against going along with Kyle argued by other responders. My question to you is why Kyle's desire to exchange this particular detention for swats must come with some pretty heavy strings: 1) that it means introducing you as his home disciplinarian, complete with corporal punishment at home; and 2) that he would lose any future choice at school.

You're right that the scenario doesn't specify how many kids' parents have consented. I don't see that as relevant. When I say he wants to have the same choice as others, I mean the others whose parents have consented, however many there are.

I've no problem with turning Kyle down on the basis that it would be a violation of the other parent's expressed wishes and beliefs.

Btw, the other parent isn't necessarily a biological parent. Wink Kyle may have been adopted.

Kat

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