Bransom, TX

a discussion place for our web site

You are not connected. Please login or register

BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1 BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Thu Sep 24, 2015 6:16 pm


Bransom Postmaster
Let's Make A Deal

Your stepson Travis is 13 years old. You've been his stepfather since he was almost 11 years old. Travis is a smart kid and very rarely gets into any trouble. His grades are really good and his manners are usually good.

Travis 13
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

When you got married your spouse had always punished Travis by grounding him. He didn't require punishment very much at all. It seemed to be serving him well you the two of your decided to continue the groundings.

Today Travis go into big trouble. A group of friends including Travis have been going into this abandoned house, using it as a makeshift club house. All of the boys have been warned to stay away from this particular house and when the police brought the boys home to their parents is did not make a happy scene.

Your spouse decided to ground Travis for two weeks. When he's grounded he loses all of his electronics except for ones needed for homework. Needless to say the boy is not happy. You tell him he's lucky because if you'd pulled that stunt when you were his age your father would have tanned your hide.

The other boys that were caught with Travis all got lickings from their fathers and are not grounded. Travis has heard stories from you about spankings you'd gotten. (In face you still have the actual wood paddle your dad used on you when you were 12) He convinces your spouse that you should be in charge of his punishments from now on and he wants you to trade the grounding for a spanking.

What do you do? If you spank him how will you do it. (remember he is a soft modern boy who's never been spanked)

Can you dig it?

2 Re: BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Thu Sep 24, 2015 7:19 pm


Be careful what you wish for.

It seems to me, though, that if groundings have always served us well, that switching to spanking now at Travis' request is using spanking as a "get out of jail (almost) free" card.  And I think that would be ill-advised.

If I were the step-dad in this scenario, I wouldn't agree to a spanking in lieu of grounding this time.

If Travis is still so inclined, we can talk about putting spanking on the table for FUTURE misbehavior.  Travis needs to be clear that, should that happen, it will be bare bottom, very painful (though never abusive), and will not be an "easy" trade for a grounding.  If he is still agreeable to those ground rules, then NEXT TIME, that will happen.

Hopefully, Travis will never need to find out, though the likelihood that at 13, he will never again require any parental punishment is small.  For now, he'll serve the grounding.  It sounds like a more effective aversive to him anyway, which is, I think, the whole point.

3 Re: BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:51 am

David M. Katz

I want to ditto Kier but my problem is that the term of the grounding is for two weeks. Even for a serious issue I personally feel that is too long.

Since grounding is obviously working I am not sure I want to totally undermine the punishment so I think this time I will bring Travis and my spouse and me together. I will suggest that the term of the grounding be shortened in exchange for a few swats.

That will give Travis an idea of what spanking is about but it also keeps an effective punishment in place.

Then we can all discuss how to handle future issues after we have all been duly informed.

Oh, my suggestion: the grounding stays in effect through the coming weekend and then Travis is free in exchange for four serious swats from the paddle.

Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

4 Re: BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Fri Sep 25, 2015 1:16 am


I'm inclined to Katz's answer mainly because it appears all of his friends who were involved got whipped. Had he been the only one involved I wouldn't consider changing the punishment but I suspect to him the two week grounding seems more severe than his friends suffered as a consequence. Of course he may change his mind about that shortly........

5 Re: BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Fri Sep 25, 2015 3:50 am


I too think two weeks is rather excessive. Bearing in mind all his friends got licked he can serve three days and trade off the rest. One moderate lick - bare - for each day. His choice how many.

6 Re: BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Fri Sep 25, 2015 4:08 am


I have problems with this for two problems. First is that I'm one of the kids who explored all the abandoned houses (or whatever), so I understand the appeal. (Of course, I was never caught doing it, so I was never actually told not to...). The second problem is that the term 'grounded' these days doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. When I was grounded, it means I didn't leave the house, didn't have friends over, didn't go anyplace I wanted, and couldn't watch TV, except maybe with the family.

Personally, I agree with Katz - even if he is 'just' grounded from use of all his electronics, I think two weeks is too long. I also think that the shock of his first spanking is going to make this more effective instead of less.

Yeah, I'm going to let him know exactly how I expect things to go, and if he still wants to try it, we'll go.

"In the end, it's just a story. But if you ask me, it's all true."

7 Re: BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Fri Sep 25, 2015 7:34 am


Editor Extraordinaire
I'm with Katz also, mainly because two weeks is just too long for a restrictive grounding. In all likelihood, the police bringing him home has already made a big impression on Travis. I doubt we'll have this particular problem again, even without additional punishment. However, I'm also reluctant to overrule my spouse by unilaterally shortening the grounding. Katz's solution is a good compromise. I want Travis to understand that while corporal punishment is now on the table, grounding is not off the table. I'll decide punishments on a case by case basis.

Frankly, with a 13 year old, I'm inclined in future to use moderate cp for relatively minor things and reserve grounding for those times when I want to make a lingering impression. This way, I'm not likely to go ott with cp, trying to escalate the severity to reflect the seriousness of misbehavior; realistically, one can only go so far before cp crosses the line into abuse. A few licks with a belt or paddle now and then can serve as "short, sharp shock".


8 Re: BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Fri Sep 25, 2015 7:54 am


I'd make the deal. I would explain exactly what a "whipping" would entail, but that I would go a bit easier on him since it's the first time. If he still wants it I would spank him, probably just by hand, and judging from his reaction when he has had enough. I don't want to abuse him but neither do I want it to be a joke.

9 Re: BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Fri Sep 25, 2015 9:55 am


I like Katz idea and if after I have explained what will happen and he still chooses then that's what we will do..... I'll also explain that spanking is now also on the list but that grounding also is staying...

Hugs kal

10 Re: BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Sat Sep 26, 2015 6:12 am


Bransom Postmaster
I think I will offer to trade one week of the grounding for a spanking. After the spanking (a real one) I will let him decide if he wants to leave it "on the table" in the future

Can you dig it?

11 Re: BOTD 09-25-2015 Let's Make A Deal on Sat Sep 26, 2015 9:47 pm

John Boy

ditto Jack

Sponsored content

View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum