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18 October 2015 - Milking It

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1 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:05 pm

Jack


Admin
It's a beautiful, autumn day, but all the beautiful, autumn leaves have now decided to decorate your lawn, instead of the trees.

You inform your son, 15-year old Caleb, that he needs to go do some raking. He moans and complains, and tries to put it off until you insist (offering him the option of doing it with or without a sore butt - his choice). He points out that the lawn is way to huge for him to do this afternoon, and you already promised he could go out with his friends this evening. You restrain yourself from pointing out that, if he'd gotten started the first time you asked him, he could probably already be halfway through. Instead, you tell him to get started now, and spend at least an hour working on it.


CALEB
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Twenty minutes after telling him that, you look out to see that he's managed to fetch the rake, but not much more. You tell him that you meant an hour of actual work, and that you're starting the hour again.

Twenty minutes later, you look out again.


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When you threaten to cancel his plans for the evening, he yells that it's not fair - you promised, and you never said 'if you do something first', and that you're just being mean.

Is he right, that it's wrong to change his plans? Should you do something else to motivate him instead?


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2 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:07 pm

Jack


Admin
Sorry for the early posting, but David is having a bit of health problem, I'm leaving on the Scout trip in just a few minutes, and Skater hasn't checked in (probably just deep into college football). I decided it was best to post early, so sorry if I throw off your schedule.

As for myself, I think I'll call him in and admit that he's right. "However, that doesn't allow for you disobeying me, so got get your jeans and boxers down, while I get the paddle, and..."

We'll see if he can't get some real work done before he needs to clean up this evening.

On the other hand, it is a nice day outside, so maybe I'll go work with him for a while.


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3 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sat Oct 17, 2015 2:17 pm

jackson1


Kid
Jack wrote:Sorry for the early posting, but David is having a bit of health problem, I'm leaving on the Scout trip in just a few minutes, and Skater hasn't checked in (probably just deep into college football).  I decided it was best to post early, so sorry if I throw off your schedule.

As for myself, I think I'll call him in and admit that he's right.  "However, that doesn't allow for you disobeying me, so got get your jeans and boxers down, while I get the paddle, and..."

We'll see if he can't get some real work done before he needs to clean up this evening.

On the other hand, it is a nice day outside, so maybe I'll go work with him for a while.

Hope the scout trip goes well, also that David makes a quick recovery.

4 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sat Oct 17, 2015 3:25 pm

jackson1


Kid
Two possibilities:

1. Call him back into the house and inform him that since he'd already been offered the choice of raking the leaves up with or without a sore bottom his lack of any attempt to carry out the chore indicated he'd chosen the former option and tell him to drop his pants and underwear and get ready for a paddling. Fetch the paddle and administer a couple of sound swats and ask if he'd rather get the whole paddling and complete the chore tomorrow or go back outside right now and make a serious attempt to finish as much as possible today with close supervision for the degree of effort being applied.

2. Tell him yes you'd promised him he could go out but promise or no promise this kind of excuse doesn't work in the real word where failure to do your assigned work can get you fired regardless of your social diary then tell him he's grounded for the evening and to get back to work.

5 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sat Oct 17, 2015 3:35 pm

AFinch


Sherrif
Ditto Jack.

6 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sat Oct 17, 2015 4:42 pm

John Boy


Sherrif
AFinch wrote:Ditto Jack.
yup

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7 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sat Oct 17, 2015 7:10 pm

db105


Trailboss
I'll apply the standard consequence for failing to do his chores. Since I like Jack's 3-strike system I'll add a strike each day he does not do his work. The important thing is not so much to get the yard raked now, but to instill in him a sense of responsibility.

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8 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sat Oct 17, 2015 9:44 pm

David M. Katz


Marshall
I like Jack's idea of working with him.

I just need to see a bit of progress.


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9 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sun Oct 18, 2015 2:20 am

ivor


Marshall
Seems to me that as he is so fixated on his plans for the evening it will be better to stop him carrying those out than spanking/paddling him.

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10 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sun Oct 18, 2015 7:00 am

squarecutter


Sherrif
Quite simple. Till I am satisfied he's made some effort he's not going anywhere. Its up to him. No need to spank as missing his evening out will hurt him more

11 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sun Oct 18, 2015 7:25 am

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I've never seen the point in raking leaves. I just mulch them with the lawnmower, which seems to me more environmentally friendly than filling up bags to go to the landfill. Nevertheless, having assigned the chore, I think I'll pitch in to help him. That is leading by example. I'm going to make it clear, however, that his plans for the evening do depend on a good faith effort on his part, promises not withstanding.

Kat

12 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sun Oct 18, 2015 11:35 am

kalico


Sherrif
Ditto jack and jackson1



Hugs kal

13 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sun Oct 18, 2015 12:53 pm

Jack


Admin
Kat wrote: I'm going to make it clear, however, that his plans for the evening do depend on a good faith effort on his part, promises not withstanding.

This wasn't really part of the scenario, but I just have to add a personal note.

I just love (do we have a :sarcasm: emoji?) when a kid takes anything you say, even in a vague, neutral way, to be a 'promise'. With some of my kids, I almost felt like I needed to be a car commercial.

Mikell: "Jack, can I go out with (insert friend's name here) Friday."

Jack: "Yes, you can Mikell... assuming that all your responsibilities between then and now are fulfilled, including homework, chores, and following all other rules and instructions. Also, in case of family or personal emergency, previous permission may be changed..."

I never had that problem with Stevie, but since Mikell moved in, I've tried to make those things understood, without having to be restated each and every time I answered a question.


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14 Re: 18 October 2015 - Milking It on Sun Oct 18, 2015 1:20 pm

db105


Trailboss
Ah, you just don't have the mind of a lawyer, Jack. Your word is a verbal contract and you should phrase everything carefully. Begin every sentence with "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."


Razz

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