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BOTD 11/15/15 "Trouble At Home?" A DMK Production

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David M. Katz


Marshall
TROUBLE AT HOME?
A DMK Production

Lewis is your thirteen year old son.  You still use spanking with Lewis if needed.  Lewis is in the eight grade at the local middle school.

Lewis is a class clown and has been since he started school.  Usually after a time or two each year of getting detention and/or paddled Lewis reins it in.  You have never employed double jeopardy as you feel the school sufficiently handled the issues.

Lewis has had a hard time this school year.  The first semester isn't even over yet and Lewis has had detention three times (disrupting class x 2, excessive tardies) and has been paddled twice (skipping class, disrupting class.)  You spoke with Lewis and warned him he was on thin ice and that you were going to be spanking him for trouble at school  since he obviously wasn't getting the message.

This is Lewis walking home from school today.

LEWIS -13
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Lewis is sad because of the notice to you in his backpack.  He received three licks today from the principal for disrupting class.  Lewis drew a penis on the white board as a joke.  It was during passing period and it was just a few students present who were milling around waiting on class to start. (The teacher had stepped to the rest room.)  Lewis said he intended to erase the penis as it was just a joke but he had inadvertently grabbed a bold permanent marker from the teacher's desk instead of an erasable white board marker.  Lewis was the obvious culprit as he signed his artwork.

Does Lewis have a reason to be sad?  What will you do?


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db105


Trailboss
Since the disruption was through clowning around before class and bad judgment rather than bad intention, I think that this time the school punishment will be enough. I'll scold him and warn him that if he willingly disrupts class I will not be so understanding.

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The Cappadocian


Greenhorn
This is a tough one. One the one hand, this is part of a larger pattern of acting out that could run wild if left unchecked at this age. Additionally, I've already made the promise that this kind of situation will result in a spanking for him.
On the other hand, this particular offense was intended as some harmless foolishness that accidentally managed to become much more serious when he mistakenly made the drawing in permanent marker. I'm sure he already feels very guilty about this.
However, he needs to understand that this kind of behavior is inviting things to get out of hand, and I can't have him thinking I'm too soft to make good on my warnings. I'll give him a few with the belt over his jeans, making sure he understands it will get much worse if he can't get his act together after this.

John Boy


Sherrif
Part of me feels I can't go back on my word, part of me thinks the added oops of his mistake is a lesson on why you need to think before you act and not sign your work Razz

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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I agree with Daniel.

Kat

MemoryMan


Sherrif
Lewis is becoming a serial problem at school, we've had a discussion about it and I've promised him double jeopardy.

"Fetch me the strap and then drop 'em Lewis"

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ivor


Marshall
It does seem the message isn't getting through as this is his third paddling of the semester.

A lot is going to depend on how long has elapsed since our talk. If it's only a week or so then I'd have to wonder if Lewis really took notice; if it's a few weeks then I'd be more inclined to let it go as I don't want to turn him into a "timid wee clamorous beastie"

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AFinch


Sherrif
I agree with Daniel as well.

Jack


Admin
I'm afraid I can't agree with Daniel on this, because, from my viewpoint, he's operating from a false beginning. He says that this incident is due to 'bad judgment rather than bad intention'. The problem is that (except for skipping class), that's the problem with every incident of trouble Lewis has had this year.

I'm going to have Lewis get ready for a serious session across my knee, and have him fetch the brush. At that point, the two of us can sit down and have a long discussion. I think what we really need to do is try to get to the root of all this. I find the amount of trouble he's in every year to be excessive, and what he's 'accomplished' this year is simply unacceptable. If he can't think of a reason he's changed, or if he doesn't think he's changed, I'm going to point out that it's quite likely that he's earned himself a reputation over the years, and that no one is willing to tolerate his BS anymore.

I promised him a follow up when he got home, not because I wanted to be a hard ass, but because he's proven that the discipline at school isn't enough. If he hadn't had all the trouble before, then I would only be mildly upset about this trouble (more wondering what he's trying to prove than anything), but that's not the case. I made a promise, and I don't see any reason not to carry through with it.

Having said that, I think a relatively mild hand spanking will probably prove my point this time, while offering him the option of the brush, and the promise of it if he doesn't straighten up.


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db105


Trailboss
Jack wrote:I'm afraid I can't agree with Daniel on this, because, from my viewpoint, he's operating from a false beginning.  He says that this incident is due to 'bad judgment rather than bad intention'.

What I meant is that I see a difference between a boy who keeps talking in class after being warned and a boy who makes a drawing before class to get some laughs out of his friends, intending to delete it before the teacher arrives, but by mistake uses a permanent marker. The first one is willfully disrupting class. The second one is trying to be a clown for his friends and disrupting the class but in an unintended way.

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David M. Katz


Marshall
I am going to camp out with Jack. The spanking doesn't have to be severe but Lewis did have ultimate control of how this turned out. Perhaps if I were a kid on thin ice then I might want to think twice about what sort of art projects I undertook.

Are we to the point that I need to have Lewis tested? Does he have an attention or behavior issue that needs to be addressed? Is he a gifted kid who is simply bored? It seems the most important thing is to get this addressed before he enters high school next year.


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Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
David M. Katz wrote:Are we to the point that I need to have Lewis tested?  Does he have an attention or behavior issue that needs to be addressed?  Is he a gifted kid who is simply bored? It seems the most important thing is to get this addressed before he enters high school next year.


There could be some underlying reason for the misbehavior, but he's 13. Sometimes that is enough by itself. Kids that age often get bolder about risk taking and want to impress their peers more. I'm not sure at all that escalating punishment is effective at addressing this sort of behavior. Rarely do the kids think before they act.

Kat

Jack


Admin
db105 wrote:
Jack wrote:I'm afraid I can't agree with Daniel on this, because, from my viewpoint, he's operating from a false beginning. He says that this incident is due to 'bad judgment rather than bad intention'.

What I meant is that I see a difference between a boy who keeps talking in class after being warned and a boy who makes a drawing before class to get some laughs out of his friends, intending to delete it before the teacher arrives, but by mistake uses a permanent marker. The first one is willfully disrupting class. The second one is trying to be a clown for his friends and disrupting the class but in an unintended way.

That does make sense, except the scenario implies that his previous disruptions were from playing 'class clown', so I saw this as more of the same thing, with just a mild adjustment to the timing.

Kat wrote:
David M. Katz wrote:Are we to the point that I need to have Lewis tested?  Does he have an attention or behavior issue that needs to be addressed?  Is he a gifted kid who is simply bored? It seems the most important thing is to get this addressed before he enters high school next year.


There could be some underlying reason for the misbehavior, but he's 13. Sometimes that is enough by itself. Kids that age often get bolder about risk taking and want to impress their peers more. I'm not sure at all that escalating punishment is effective at addressing this sort of behavior. Rarely do the kids think before they act.

I don't see this as escalating punishment, so much as I do as a way to stress that his behavior is unacceptable, and that it's having real effects for him outside of school. I suppose that's largely semantics, but it does seem like the next step to me in trying to make sure he realizes his behavior has to be corrected, before this becomes a real problem.


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Pi Beta


Deputy
Having made the threat, I'm going to have to carry through with it, though if the note says that the board is having to be replaced and that I'm to be billed for it, we may be having a discussion about hittingh him in the pocket (hard) instead of hitting him on his bottom (hard).

squarecutter


Sherrif
I accept Lewis didnt intend the outcome of his latest shennanigan he did intend some disruption. While I dont like the idea of escalating punishment I have to wonder if I f I don't have to back up what Lewis is getting at school with more at home. Is it that Lewis is toughing out his '3 licks' at school and needs a less predictable spanking that will actually get through that teenage shell of his. He gets the belt and next time he will be grounded and we will see what gets through

Jack


Admin
Pi Beta wrote:Having made the threat, I'm going to have to carry through with it, though if the note says that the board is having to be replaced and that I'm to be billed for it, we may be having a discussion about hittingh him in the pocket (hard) instead of hitting him on his bottom (hard).

There are ways to clean permanent marker off dry erase board. None of them are perfect nor fast, however.


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