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30 November 2015 - Do You Love Jeffrey More? A Skater Production

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Jack


Admin
When you got home from work today your 11 year old son Jeffrey was waiting for you on the front steps. He wants to talk to you about something he says is important. You stop and sit down on the stairs.

Jeffrey 11
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After listening to him, it seems that he has the idea that you don't love him as much as his brother Steven because you don't spank him as much as you do Steven.

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You think to yourself the part of the reason you don't spank Jeffrey very much is that he's mostly a good boy and because he's very sensitive and you can usually correct him with just words. You tell him that Steven earns more spankings than he does.


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Jeffrey then tells you that yesterday, he was kicking his soccer ball in the house and broke a vase you just told him to not do it again and you took the money to pay for it out of his allowance.

He then reminded you that Steven had done the exact same thing last summer (though he broke a lamp) and you gave him a spanking AND took his allowance to pay for it.

The boy begins to cry and says, "Why don't you love me as much as Steven?"



Did Steven 14 put this idea in Jeffrey's head?
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StevieWeeks


Trailboss
Yes - he did... HE'S BEEN VERY NAUGHTY INDEED...

I'll change my punishments immediately to a tablespoon of castor to be administered on the next weekend occurring after the transgression, starting with a double dose for Steven on Friday night...

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Stevie...

AFinch


Sherrif
I'm going to sit down with Jeff and explain to him that he and Steven are individuals, and as such, different approaches to things such as misbehavior are called for. I'm going to tell him, honestly, that I love both my sons the same. Him not getting spanked is because I don't think he NEEDS it, while I think Steven does. It has nothing whatsoever to do with how much I love him.

Hopefully, that will put this matter to rest. If it doesn't, I'm going to offer to spank him, because he seems both to feel guilty for the vase, and to show him that I'm quite willing to do so when he needs it. And he seems like he needs it right now for his own feelings of security. I'm going to warn him, though, that if we proceed with this spanking, I'm not going to go easy. And if he still wants to be spanked for this misbehavior, I'm going to wear him out, and then hug him half to death.

John Boy


Sherrif
I think now is the time for reassurance not sore bottomness.

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David M. Katz


Marshall
I like Kier's answer!


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ivor


Marshall
It seems to me that Jeffrey considers you are not treating him the same as his brother which he equates to loving him less.

On the face of things the two incidents do seem virtually identical but you have responded differently. Admittedly Steven was a couple of years older at the time which might explain things and/or he may have done similar things before, hence why you spanked him. Thus I can see why Jeffrey is thinking this way and it does seem that an explanation of your differing policies is unlikely to convince him. So, he will get an 11 year old spanking but not a 13 year old one.

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MemoryMan


Sherrif
I'm going to put my arm round Jeff and tell that the main purpose of a spanking is to deter errant behaviour and help a much loved son to grow up responsibly, but that whilst born out of love spankings are not a measure of love.  Steve gets spanked more often (and harder) both because he's more obstinate than you and because he's older and a higher degree of responsibility is expected of  him.

Then I'll give him a squeeze and tell him that as far as I am concerned the vase incident is over and has been adequately dealt with; but if he really believes such nonsense we can go upstairs and I'll spank him out of pure love and again every Saturday night until he comes to his senses.

Hopefully he'll feel relieved and find my idea risible.

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squarecutter


Sherrif
Something seems to have been inserted in Jeffs head. I go with Kier on this

Kat


Editor Extraordinaire
I do wonder if Steven planted the seed. Perhaps Steven feels less loved because he is spanked more. It's all well and good in theory to treat kids according to their individual needs, but in reality, they do notice and sometimes resent the difference. If I have a valid reason for why I spanked Steven and not Jeffrey for similar incidents, then I need to explain that reason -- now to Jeff and later to Steve. Otherwise, I'll proceed as Kier suggests.

Kat

Jack


Admin
This reminds me of a scene in Ordinary People, where Connor complains that his dad was always harder on his big brother than on him. "You were always hard enough on yourself."

I think Kier has the right of it. I will explain what made me spank one boy, but not the other. If that's not acceptable to Jeffrey, I'll wear him out. And if I find out that Steven planted this idea in his brothers head, he'd better pray he has a good excuse.

BTW - as you might have guessed, this scenario is NOT based on real life. It was created by Skater, but it was created about 5 1/2 years ago.

If you'd like to see the original responses, you can check out BOTD 5-28 Do you love Steven More than Jeffrey?.


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David M. Katz


Marshall
Jack wrote:
BTW - as you might have guessed, this scenario is NOT based on real life.  It was created by Skater, but it was created about 5 1/2 years ago.

If you'd like to see the original responses, you can check out BOTD 5-28 Do you love Steven More than Jeffrey?.

I really like the idea of bringing up an older BOTD from time to time.


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Skater


Bransom Postmaster
I think I'm going to give him a spanking to make him feel better Smile


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